Blah, ranting... not mad just self rants...
Well there really isn't anything new to report. School is going the same as it has been. I am actually caught up and somewhat ahead in my readings for most of my classes. Weirdness there. Work is ok, as long as I nap before hand, though that leaves me with not really wanting to go to sleep when I get off my shift. Plus what am I going to do once I start rehearsals and the play and such? But mostly I am napping because of the meds I am on. I thought steriods were suppose to pump you up with, I don;t know, adrenaline or something like that. (yeah, my spelling sucks.)
I do have a very very very slight bit of movement on my left side of my face now, and twitchiness is coming more and more in the muscles around the eye and lips region. Also in the cheek area now too. I am hopefull that this thing will blow over, hopefull. Still I am wondering what will happen if it doesn't. Ah well, prepair for the worst and hope for the best is the saying huh?
Anyways I told Dr. LaPlant today. I don't know I just hate/am scared or anxious of talking to males in higher authority for some reason. Sheesh. Am I pathetic or something?
Le sigh. I also have issues with asking others for help. Really I do, it might not seem like it but still. When it comes right down to it, I will complain my ass off but not ask anyone to help. And when I do I feel so guilty it's not funny. Maybe I should start talking to Jill again I don't know. Or find a good friend and complain some more huh? LoL Right. Sometimes I just feel like ppl tolerate me. I think I have said that before, maybe on here, I forget. Still I know that I have been told that's just crazy that ppl really do care about me. But yeah I have self esteem issues, and sometimes need a little encouragement saying that there are ppl who care about me. Blah. I hate being this way, I do....
Yeah I am Ranting about myself and things that I have tried to change and don't seem to be able to. Is it because I really don't want to change them and I am comfortable with how it is but I just want to be like more of my friends? I don't know so who would?
Any ways... I am going to stop now and just try and get to sleep. I tried sleeping without taping my eye shut earlier today for a nap and it seemed fine, I am going to do that again tonight and see how it goes. Still gonna put that stuff on though that keeps the eye from drying out. If it doesn't work I will go back to taping my eye shut at night. It feels so weird. Ah well.
Love to all of you.
I do have a very very very slight bit of movement on my left side of my face now, and twitchiness is coming more and more in the muscles around the eye and lips region. Also in the cheek area now too. I am hopefull that this thing will blow over, hopefull. Still I am wondering what will happen if it doesn't. Ah well, prepair for the worst and hope for the best is the saying huh?
Anyways I told Dr. LaPlant today. I don't know I just hate/am scared or anxious of talking to males in higher authority for some reason. Sheesh. Am I pathetic or something?
Le sigh. I also have issues with asking others for help. Really I do, it might not seem like it but still. When it comes right down to it, I will complain my ass off but not ask anyone to help. And when I do I feel so guilty it's not funny. Maybe I should start talking to Jill again I don't know. Or find a good friend and complain some more huh? LoL Right. Sometimes I just feel like ppl tolerate me. I think I have said that before, maybe on here, I forget. Still I know that I have been told that's just crazy that ppl really do care about me. But yeah I have self esteem issues, and sometimes need a little encouragement saying that there are ppl who care about me. Blah. I hate being this way, I do....
Yeah I am Ranting about myself and things that I have tried to change and don't seem to be able to. Is it because I really don't want to change them and I am comfortable with how it is but I just want to be like more of my friends? I don't know so who would?
Any ways... I am going to stop now and just try and get to sleep. I tried sleeping without taping my eye shut earlier today for a nap and it seemed fine, I am going to do that again tonight and see how it goes. Still gonna put that stuff on though that keeps the eye from drying out. If it doesn't work I will go back to taping my eye shut at night. It feels so weird. Ah well.
Love to all of you.