ficlet: feel better the heavier they get (gerard/brian, gerard/lyn-z)
I told brooklinegirl to choose any kink off my kink bingo card and any pairing, and I would write her a ficlet. She chose "breathplay" and "Brian/Gerard."
This is about 900 words, not as porny as you might think, and quite a bit of Gerard/Lyn-Z got mixed in.
*****
Gerard asked him about it once, about the stunt man thing. It was just so bizarre, so random. A stunt man, of all things. Why?
Brian had paused, and thought it over for a minute before he answered. That was one of the things Gerard had already appreciated about Brian: he thought things through, all the way through, nothing halfway or unconsidered.
Gerard can't remember all of his answer, but he can remember part of it perfectly clearly: you set yourself on fire, Brian had said, or you jump off a building, and the ground there's waiting for you. And you pick yourself up and you're fine and you're safe and you've done it. And maybe you're a little more alive than you were before.
Gerard's life right now is the best that it's ever been, by any measure he can think of. He wakes up every morning happy to be himself. He's still startled by everything he has, pretty much everything he could ever have wished for. His comic, his band, his wife, their baby.
So it's not like he needs this; he doesn't. But he does want it, and he thinks it's the same thing Brian was talking about before. He wants to close his eyes and give up that control and feel that rush and know he's going to come through it still himself at the end.
Lindsey had never said no to anything they'd thought up in bed, so he had been surprised when she said no to this. But she'd shaken her head and looked at him thoughtfully.
"I don't want you to think I'm judging the kink," Lindsey said, "because I'm not. I think it would be good for you. But I can't be the one to do it."
"Why not?" Gerard said. He'd played with her hair, rubbing a lock between his thumb and index finger, while he waited to her to respond.
Lindsey hesitated a little. "I think... I think I could only do that to someone I had been angry at. Not angry now, but angry sometime. You've never disappointed me."
"I've disappointed a lot of people," Gerard said softly.
Lindsey had just smiled up at him. "Yeah. And they'd all follow you to the end of the earth anyway, because they love you more than anything else. That's what you need."
Lindsey was right, of course, because she was a fucking genius. Someone who had seen him at his worst, someone who loved him anyway, someone he'd trust with his life. Someone who'd understand without him having to explain.
Brian took it in and was silent for thirty seconds. The first thing he said was, "How hard?"
Gerard swallowed. He could feel his pulse speeding up, just from that. "Not hard. I can't fuck up my voice, obviously. And it's not a pain thing, you know. I just need to feel it. That's the important thing."
Brian nodded. "And how do you want this to go? Are you going to jack off? Do you want to kiss? Do you want me to fuck you?" Laying it out on the table, matter of fact. Like there was never even a question that he was going to say yes.
"Kissing is good," Gerard said. "Naked kissing. Both of us."
Brian had nodded again, and then he stepped forward to Gerard's body and wrapped his arm around Gerard's neck, pulling him down into a kiss, forceful but familiar, like they'd been doing this for seven years instead of just starting now. Gerard let himself sink into it, because Brian knew what he was doing, and Brian would take them where Gerard needed to go.
He's naked on his back now, Brian pressed against him everywhere, his skin hotter than anything. Brian's hard-on is pressing into his hip and they're kissing, kissing, kissing and Gerard wants, more than anything.
Brian breaks the kiss to whisper in Gerard's ear. "Now?"
"God, yes," Gerard says, "now." He closes his eyes and holds his breath and Brian's hand is on his throat, squeezing light but steady. He can feel Brian's gaze on him, unblinking, and when Brian moves himself, every thrust he makes causes their dicks to rub against each other.
It's exactly what Gerard needs. When he comes all he can see is white.
Brian lets his grip go lax, but he leaves his hand resting against Gerard's throat until Gerard opens his eyes and pulls it away. He pushes Brian onto his back and kisses him sweetly, jerking him off quickly until Brian comes in his hand, groaning into his mouth.
Afterwards, laying against the pillows, Gerard says, "Is that what it's like? Jumping out of a building?"
Brian smiles and says, "Pretty much. Except for the orgasm."
Gerard kisses him again and says, seriously, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Brian says, raising one eyebrow, like he's laughing at Gerard on some level. But Gerard doesn't mind just now.
"You should come over for dinner next week," Gerard murmurs. "B's gotten so much bigger since the last time you were over. You won't recognize her. And Lindsey'd love to see you again."
Brian's hand pauses for a moment where it's combing through Gerard's hair, and then it starts again, just as suddenly. "I'd love to," Brian says, and Gerard smiles.
This is about 900 words, not as porny as you might think, and quite a bit of Gerard/Lyn-Z got mixed in.
*****
Gerard asked him about it once, about the stunt man thing. It was just so bizarre, so random. A stunt man, of all things. Why?
Brian had paused, and thought it over for a minute before he answered. That was one of the things Gerard had already appreciated about Brian: he thought things through, all the way through, nothing halfway or unconsidered.
Gerard can't remember all of his answer, but he can remember part of it perfectly clearly: you set yourself on fire, Brian had said, or you jump off a building, and the ground there's waiting for you. And you pick yourself up and you're fine and you're safe and you've done it. And maybe you're a little more alive than you were before.
Gerard's life right now is the best that it's ever been, by any measure he can think of. He wakes up every morning happy to be himself. He's still startled by everything he has, pretty much everything he could ever have wished for. His comic, his band, his wife, their baby.
So it's not like he needs this; he doesn't. But he does want it, and he thinks it's the same thing Brian was talking about before. He wants to close his eyes and give up that control and feel that rush and know he's going to come through it still himself at the end.
Lindsey had never said no to anything they'd thought up in bed, so he had been surprised when she said no to this. But she'd shaken her head and looked at him thoughtfully.
"I don't want you to think I'm judging the kink," Lindsey said, "because I'm not. I think it would be good for you. But I can't be the one to do it."
"Why not?" Gerard said. He'd played with her hair, rubbing a lock between his thumb and index finger, while he waited to her to respond.
Lindsey hesitated a little. "I think... I think I could only do that to someone I had been angry at. Not angry now, but angry sometime. You've never disappointed me."
"I've disappointed a lot of people," Gerard said softly.
Lindsey had just smiled up at him. "Yeah. And they'd all follow you to the end of the earth anyway, because they love you more than anything else. That's what you need."
Lindsey was right, of course, because she was a fucking genius. Someone who had seen him at his worst, someone who loved him anyway, someone he'd trust with his life. Someone who'd understand without him having to explain.
Brian took it in and was silent for thirty seconds. The first thing he said was, "How hard?"
Gerard swallowed. He could feel his pulse speeding up, just from that. "Not hard. I can't fuck up my voice, obviously. And it's not a pain thing, you know. I just need to feel it. That's the important thing."
Brian nodded. "And how do you want this to go? Are you going to jack off? Do you want to kiss? Do you want me to fuck you?" Laying it out on the table, matter of fact. Like there was never even a question that he was going to say yes.
"Kissing is good," Gerard said. "Naked kissing. Both of us."
Brian had nodded again, and then he stepped forward to Gerard's body and wrapped his arm around Gerard's neck, pulling him down into a kiss, forceful but familiar, like they'd been doing this for seven years instead of just starting now. Gerard let himself sink into it, because Brian knew what he was doing, and Brian would take them where Gerard needed to go.
He's naked on his back now, Brian pressed against him everywhere, his skin hotter than anything. Brian's hard-on is pressing into his hip and they're kissing, kissing, kissing and Gerard wants, more than anything.
Brian breaks the kiss to whisper in Gerard's ear. "Now?"
"God, yes," Gerard says, "now." He closes his eyes and holds his breath and Brian's hand is on his throat, squeezing light but steady. He can feel Brian's gaze on him, unblinking, and when Brian moves himself, every thrust he makes causes their dicks to rub against each other.
It's exactly what Gerard needs. When he comes all he can see is white.
Brian lets his grip go lax, but he leaves his hand resting against Gerard's throat until Gerard opens his eyes and pulls it away. He pushes Brian onto his back and kisses him sweetly, jerking him off quickly until Brian comes in his hand, groaning into his mouth.
Afterwards, laying against the pillows, Gerard says, "Is that what it's like? Jumping out of a building?"
Brian smiles and says, "Pretty much. Except for the orgasm."
Gerard kisses him again and says, seriously, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Brian says, raising one eyebrow, like he's laughing at Gerard on some level. But Gerard doesn't mind just now.
"You should come over for dinner next week," Gerard murmurs. "B's gotten so much bigger since the last time you were over. You won't recognize her. And Lindsey'd love to see you again."
Brian's hand pauses for a moment where it's combing through Gerard's hair, and then it starts again, just as suddenly. "I'd love to," Brian says, and Gerard smiles.