lie and wait forever (goy ficlet)
I was kind of hoping this would turn into something more storylike, but it seems determined to be more of a plotless character ramble. Still, I like it anyway, and so I am sharing! Plus etben said it didn't suck, so. Here, have an angsty post-war Ghost of You ficlet
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She goes to see Gerard, ostensibly to ask if he has Mikey's ring or the letters she sent him, but really to make him look her in the face and acknowledge her grief. The way he avoids her makes her feel like his grief, his loss, his relationship with Mikey is more important.
When she's there, she finds all the stuff Gerard has kept, and she is furious, angry enough to slap him. He's drunk and she's holding on to this anger and resentment (jealousy) of Gerard because it's better than feeling the gaping pit of grief that's underneath it. They end up fucking (in Mikey's bed, but she doesn't know that), fast and hard, and she doesn't come.
Afterwards, lying there looking up at the ceiling, she says, "It should have been you."
Gerard has one arm flung over his face, so the words are a little muffled when he says, "I know."
She gets pregnant, and Gerard asks her to marry him. She says yes, and it feels like a penance, but she doesn't know who she's punishing.
The baby has Mikey's eyes.
[Ahaha, dude, sorry, I'm writing fanfic of your fic, but that's just how awesome it is!]
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Or, uh. You know. Whatever the internet porn-writing equivalent of a million dollars is.
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It's kind of tragic how all of us want this story so bad when nobody can write it. SIGH.
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