carved in some tree in kentucky theres a mark thats weathered like love.
its a mystery, some puzzel that looks as though its completed, i see a full idea in this picture. but yet, there is always a new excuse to trample it, blur out the concrete idea, and attempt at finding new meaning from this situation which i've touched from every angle, every emotion, seen in all lights a thousand lives over.
"nothing lasts forever. . ." why hope this lasts forever?
once i try to speak of this desire, it dissipates, for simple reason, and understanding of its pure idiocy. it it nullified in my mind, and it still rises, and then falls, and rises and falls. over and over again, as it has for the last five months. sometimes i think of time, and how its elapsed from then to now, and how i can properly gauge that space. it seems like an eternity, because of the distance of the memories in my mind, but, also a blink, due to how real it seems in dreams. but, evenso, to think of him, a trigger goes off in my mind, because i do know to the fullest extent, that he is in another century. in my lifetime, he has died. and i need to stop trying to prove that he is infact real, or i just need to stop reminding myself, perhaps. because, for some reason, it is still so strange for me to digest.
last night i felt displaced. for just a simple moment, that seemed to last hours, i had no idea who i was, or who this person was whom i was embracing, and it all seemed just so numb and unusual. i analyzed the situation, and thought, how this person here which i was holding feels like a stranger. who was this person? this tall, fit, charming man, with such a vacant yet active stare. . .not even a glimpse after these travels, i'm reaffirmed of my exsistence, and the beauty of what i'm beholding. but, yet, i still can't fit where these brisk moments place themselves in meaning.
"nothing lasts forever. . ." why hope this lasts forever?
once i try to speak of this desire, it dissipates, for simple reason, and understanding of its pure idiocy. it it nullified in my mind, and it still rises, and then falls, and rises and falls. over and over again, as it has for the last five months. sometimes i think of time, and how its elapsed from then to now, and how i can properly gauge that space. it seems like an eternity, because of the distance of the memories in my mind, but, also a blink, due to how real it seems in dreams. but, evenso, to think of him, a trigger goes off in my mind, because i do know to the fullest extent, that he is in another century. in my lifetime, he has died. and i need to stop trying to prove that he is infact real, or i just need to stop reminding myself, perhaps. because, for some reason, it is still so strange for me to digest.
last night i felt displaced. for just a simple moment, that seemed to last hours, i had no idea who i was, or who this person was whom i was embracing, and it all seemed just so numb and unusual. i analyzed the situation, and thought, how this person here which i was holding feels like a stranger. who was this person? this tall, fit, charming man, with such a vacant yet active stare. . .not even a glimpse after these travels, i'm reaffirmed of my exsistence, and the beauty of what i'm beholding. but, yet, i still can't fit where these brisk moments place themselves in meaning.