The Poetics of Jane
I'm taking a poetry workshop course at school, and I absolutely love it. I don't feel like my literature courses give a real outlet for creativity, since what we write has such a strict structure and topical focus. I didn't realize I was looking for a chance to workshop something more inventive until I arrived in this class. I love the format and professor, though I wish people would give more feedback, especially more "critical" feedback. They're lovely people, but we suffer from the far-too-nice workshop vibe. Myself not excluded. It's really hard to phrase things, even delicately, as suggestion when everyone in the room takes on that uber-positive style.
I went to the CSD meeting today at NHTI, and well, it was a bit weird. Everyone at the table being lovely idealists made me feel like I was back at CY, and they talked a lot about National Service after college... I miss all that, but almost feel like I'm not up for it right now. There's just so much to do, and no one to help. This place breeds apathy and leeches.
In real life (as in not college...which is a trip when you're 5 years older than your classmates), I've just heard from an old friend, who for the sake of anonymity, I'll call Jane. Jane has been my best friend for many many moons. She and I go way back... to the red and black lumberjack, with the hat to match... and I adore her for that. She possesses some qualities that I would never look for in a friend, and some I've never found in a friend since her. She has the unique ability to hold attention that I envy, and I will always forgive her anything, which is something I've never done with other people, excluding maybe my family. She has done some not so lovely things before, but at the end of the day, no matter how angry or hurt I am, she will always be a part of who i've become. Which is more comforting than I can explain when I consider my transient group of friends. Our relationship is simple. We don't hang out regularly anymore, and that's fine by both of us. Our daily lives don't necessarily exist in the same realm, but when she calls, or I call, we drop everything for each other. Odd? Definately, and someone will probably tell you we're secretly in love, but we're not. She is just that person, who has known all my secrets since I was 13 and confused as hell. She knows who I am. And as retro-cool as I am, it is summed up perfectly in a quote from My So Called Life's AJ Langer, "There are these people who know you in this way that other people can't, because they've seen you change, they've let you change." Chicken-Soup-for-the-Soul-Cheese factor, yes, but honest and real too. It's messy, but what isn't?
I went to the CSD meeting today at NHTI, and well, it was a bit weird. Everyone at the table being lovely idealists made me feel like I was back at CY, and they talked a lot about National Service after college... I miss all that, but almost feel like I'm not up for it right now. There's just so much to do, and no one to help. This place breeds apathy and leeches.
In real life (as in not college...which is a trip when you're 5 years older than your classmates), I've just heard from an old friend, who for the sake of anonymity, I'll call Jane. Jane has been my best friend for many many moons. She and I go way back... to the red and black lumberjack, with the hat to match... and I adore her for that. She possesses some qualities that I would never look for in a friend, and some I've never found in a friend since her. She has the unique ability to hold attention that I envy, and I will always forgive her anything, which is something I've never done with other people, excluding maybe my family. She has done some not so lovely things before, but at the end of the day, no matter how angry or hurt I am, she will always be a part of who i've become. Which is more comforting than I can explain when I consider my transient group of friends. Our relationship is simple. We don't hang out regularly anymore, and that's fine by both of us. Our daily lives don't necessarily exist in the same realm, but when she calls, or I call, we drop everything for each other. Odd? Definately, and someone will probably tell you we're secretly in love, but we're not. She is just that person, who has known all my secrets since I was 13 and confused as hell. She knows who I am. And as retro-cool as I am, it is summed up perfectly in a quote from My So Called Life's AJ Langer, "There are these people who know you in this way that other people can't, because they've seen you change, they've let you change." Chicken-Soup-for-the-Soul-Cheese factor, yes, but honest and real too. It's messy, but what isn't?