Jul 01, 2005 01:29
First i haven't updated in a while so here it goes, i have roled balls for like 4 days straight, all togther i took 8 roles about two weeks ago. no biggy, had lots of fun. and before that i went to go see imperative reaction and vnv nation play in austin. that was bad ass i met ted phelps, have his autograph and a picture of me and him. ted is a very nice guy. static-x and powerman 5000 through a bad ass show. crossfade was there, and they sucked more live than on hte radio. which is pretty bad, but some stupidass poele like htem. amy lee came a sang with seether. that was kewl, she got kinda've chunky. came back and i had a load of shit on my voicemail that sent me into a rage, bullshit is what it was, and i wanted to beat that mother fuckerers asses who talked shit on my voicemail, and not knowing what the fuck they where talking about. probably why the never have successful relationships. i have a question. if a guy asked not to have sex with you but continue the relationships as it was but new so you can build up from the ground to i guess make a strong foundation to base the relationship on and make sure its not a lust thing? is that bad? anywayz. Me and Reed have been down the same path of non-righteousness when it comes to a a girl you love. i never liked reed in hte past, but i find myself chilling with him everynight. nicole vaughn did the same to him that amber did to me, but reed and nicole handle it in a totally ddifferent way. reed treats her worse than the klu klux klan could a black person. while she sits there and acknowldges the wrong she did and excepts the abuse. i feel sorry for her. she does't deserve that bullshit i that i witnessed.i understand his heart was cheated out of the innosence of love, and cheated out of the rest, but you can't let it hold you down forever..me i am mean to amber simply because i no longer bullshit around, she saids something stupid i let her know, she saids fine i am gonna walk well by god walk not my decision.i used to be like please baby, but where was the please baby nah thats a different story all in all. i just don't play, you snap at me i don't recommend it. i'll snap right back. though not to everybody. anywayz nicole most honestly be sorry because she does everything for that boy since that incident, she truly knows what she fucked up but its different now, she needs to realize that, she is just hurting herself. his hurt will never go away. me i am tired of somebody i love being the biggest fucking hypocritical bitch i know. but i shouldn't talk because i haven't gotten over my anger my hatred for ambers bitch ass slut self that begs everything of me but will not give me an inch to breath. yes i just said some rather rudes things about amber, i don't mean them i really don't but i am called a slut a asshole everyday, a bitch anything, and if i just say one thing she hangs up. fuck that. i don't care, don't call me, don't love me not like she did very often anywayz.oh yeah hse can go on and on about how i screwed her over too but that is just runing away from the blame to try and point the responsiblilty of it on me, and true i knew how she was but fuck love makes a man go blind what can i say. we both know you did me more wrong. cheated me out of the innocent picture of you, my want to be a morally strict man, cheated me out of my own seed by fucking huffying and roling and being a dipshit dopehead, go find somebody else to talk too, god knows you already are. and andrea told me you where stalking jason, not jasons friends. i have to go the occupents of the household are lreaving so i must go. and yes i am blaming my change in life and personality on amber, it just makes me feel better, but i know it is my fault in the end
go find somebody else to talk too, god knows you already are