winter sadness
all of a sudden my job is getting very sad. its seems like more people are calling to report the death of another one of our enrollees. more people are calling to report they've been diagnosed with rare forms of cancer and skin diseases. more people call to say they have no where to go for help, no doctors, no insurance, no money, where can they go? its obvious to me now this is a just another example of how the system continues to fail for certain people. it should be so easy, right? here's the a need for services, so why can't there be services for everyone? its never that simple.
in the case of 9/11, its the residents who are getting left out. there are monitoring programs and medical programs for workers and employees, but not for people who live here. a non-profit called 'beyond ground zero' set up a medical program for residents at bellevue hospital to fill this gap in services, but they are small and had a limited budget and could only see a certain number of patients. but then this make-shift belleuve program received millions of dollars from the government to establish a permanent WTC medical program for residents. this program was supposed to open in january. but based on feedback from our callers, they are not yet fully staffed. and the more people have to wait for this program get itself together and for the government money to come in, the more people have to suffer.
a few months ago i was thinking about volunteering a few nights a week at a mental health hotline so i could continue my CA knowledge/skills. but now i don't need to do that. i am grief-counselor, health advocate, mental health referral service, and workers' comp liaison 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. i'm keeping my CA skills pretty sharp. hearing these stories makes me sad, but mostly it makes me really angry, because it continues to happen. but i don't know if i want to do this. i mean, this job is good for now. but before i was thinking i could public health/social work masters but now i'm not sure i want to that. i've worked here for 7 months and already feeling burned out. i might do a masters in environmental health and occupational health instead. toxicology, industrial hygiene, environmental hazards and exposures - these i would be interested in. more science, less counseling, but i could still work with people and help people, which is what i want. and my div III and working here has made more more interested in these issues, which i really wasn't into while at hampshire.
so, a lot to think about. it is bitter cold here in the city. the winter is ugly without snow, which i miss. although i hear hampshire hasn't got a lot of snow either. whenever there is even a remote chance of flurries the sidewalks around my building get coated with salt and other ice-melting substances, which actually makes it more slippery to walk over than typical snow. although it does turn white and sort of looks like snow.