OverAnalytical Karla Makes a ComeBack
.. and with good reason.
Walking through the mall tonight and caught a whiff of Kenneth Coles Reaction. Stopped me in my tracks. Knew I shouldnt, but I went back for a second whiff. Crazy how much impact a scent can leave. Threw me back into that cold room, gray sheets, Chelsea, and him.
I cant believe its been a year and a half and he's still on my mind. It makes me sick because I have a very good guy who would do anything in the world for me. My family and friends love him, but do I? I care about him so much, but am I in love with him? I used to be. Does that ever come back? With you, I never felt good enough. I heard how another girl was "the girl of your dreams." A girl who would mute the movie when they said a swear word. A girl who didnt do anything more than kiss. A girl who definitely did not drink. A girl who is very far from Me. The things that I enjoy, are the things you look down on. And then how do. Did. we have that crazy intense passion for each other. I often think what you would do if I drove down to your hospital. Just showed up. *Insert lyrics from I Told You So by CU*
I'll never understand. This is when I need you Mom. I need another one of your "everything will work out" speechs. I need to know what things are going to work out here. I need to know if Steve and I can have the passion that Blake and I shared. I need to know if that passion was what I've been waiting for. I need to know if its just time for me to start over.
I want to feel crazy about someone. I want to be with him without any reserve or doubt. I want to let the walls fall down and not be afraid of getting hurt, knowing he would never leave me or be unfaithful. I want that next step but just dont know where to find it.
So since You cant be here, I guess I have to just believe that you were right. Everything will work out.
Walking through the mall tonight and caught a whiff of Kenneth Coles Reaction. Stopped me in my tracks. Knew I shouldnt, but I went back for a second whiff. Crazy how much impact a scent can leave. Threw me back into that cold room, gray sheets, Chelsea, and him.
I cant believe its been a year and a half and he's still on my mind. It makes me sick because I have a very good guy who would do anything in the world for me. My family and friends love him, but do I? I care about him so much, but am I in love with him? I used to be. Does that ever come back? With you, I never felt good enough. I heard how another girl was "the girl of your dreams." A girl who would mute the movie when they said a swear word. A girl who didnt do anything more than kiss. A girl who definitely did not drink. A girl who is very far from Me. The things that I enjoy, are the things you look down on. And then how do. Did. we have that crazy intense passion for each other. I often think what you would do if I drove down to your hospital. Just showed up. *Insert lyrics from I Told You So by CU*
I'll never understand. This is when I need you Mom. I need another one of your "everything will work out" speechs. I need to know what things are going to work out here. I need to know if Steve and I can have the passion that Blake and I shared. I need to know if that passion was what I've been waiting for. I need to know if its just time for me to start over.
I want to feel crazy about someone. I want to be with him without any reserve or doubt. I want to let the walls fall down and not be afraid of getting hurt, knowing he would never leave me or be unfaithful. I want that next step but just dont know where to find it.
So since You cant be here, I guess I have to just believe that you were right. Everything will work out.