(no subject)
sometimes i wonder. i think about the people who really changed me. who effed me over bad, or who made me think in a different way, or who pushed me, whether positively or not. i think about the teachers, the peers, the past relationships, the old friends, who might not be physically in my life anymore, but who are embedded in me, written on my soul. those who have made me jaded, strong, resilient, angry, scarred, but overall, wiser. i wonder if they ever think about me, i wonder if i changed the path of their life in any way. i wonder if they even remember a word i said. i hope that, to some of them, to the bad ones, i have faded or disappeared from memory, and i hope that someday they will fall away from mine. i hope that, for the good ones, the passionate, the compassionate, the industrious, i have somehow remained, and that they realize what an impact a life well-lived can have.
i do have malice. for the really bad ones. i hope i hurt them, or could hurt them, as deeply as they did me. but i worry that there is something missing in that equation: emotion. i think the really bad ones didnt have to work hard to hurt me. they just didnt care. and that hurts more than any premeditated, carefully plotted and carried out offense.
i do have malice. for the really bad ones. i hope i hurt them, or could hurt them, as deeply as they did me. but i worry that there is something missing in that equation: emotion. i think the really bad ones didnt have to work hard to hurt me. they just didnt care. and that hurts more than any premeditated, carefully plotted and carried out offense.