Today is annoying.
School was alright.
I've been really tired.
Alex in 6th [peer tutoring] told me he loved me and asked me if I loved him.
He also gave me the biggest hug I've ever had.
Andddd, he called Amber and I his ladies.
He is the best.
He makes my days ten times better.
I keep trying to call Subway back, but the line has been busy forever.
Rawr.
I also put in an application at the Y to take Krystal's place when she leaves.
I hope I get either job, I need one so bad.
But, I've got nothing else to say, I've got dumb homework to do.
I didn't save the first part of this, it was him asking me if I wanted him to leave me alone "forever"
I put my proud moments in bold.
themaggotbassist: naw I gotca you, its all cool, I understand, I guess its time to forget all about any feelings I had and move on, well I do wish the best for you and I am sorry this did not work out the way we once would have hoped
themaggotbassist: bye bye
Aquamarinejello1: fuck you derick, seriously, it's all about you isn't it
Aquamarinejello1: you don't even seem to care that my heart is a million pieces
Aquamarinejello1: that all i do anymore is cry because i loved you so fucking much
themaggotbassist: you sure do not act like it
Aquamarinejello1: and you treated me like it didn't matter
themaggotbassist: ???
Aquamarinejello1: you were the first person in a long time i felt great about, and then you made me feel like i was a big fucking idiot and that i was wasting my time
Aquamarinejello1: i don't act like it because i'm not going to let myself
Aquamarinejello1: because i'm making myself get over you, because i need to
Aquamarinejello1: i don't need to sit around and be weepy and cry and try to get you back, because it is not worth it
Aquamarinejello1: my heart doesn't need this shit, and if you cared, you'd know that
themaggotbassist: as they have always said "love hurts"
Aquamarinejello1: fuck you
themaggotbassist: why is that?
Aquamarinejello1: because you are a bastard
themaggotbassist: all i meant was that true love comes with pain
Aquamarinejello1: this wasn't true love
Aquamarinejello1: not on your part
Aquamarinejello1: because if it was
themaggotbassist: i did not mean that in a mean way
Aquamarinejello1: then you wouldnt've dumped me for making you feel bad about not seeing me
Aquamarinejello1: just fuck it and you derick
themaggotbassist: see I fear so much, I told oyu that, I am scared and I run away from things like serious relationships b/c I hate the heart arce
Aquamarinejello1: well you sure are good at giving it
Aquamarinejello1: i am an amazing girl derick
themaggotbassist: yes
Aquamarinejello1: you totally missed a chance that you will never get back
themaggotbassist: never said you were not
Aquamarinejello1: i hope you realize that
Aquamarinejello1: no, wait, i am far more than amazing, and you had no right to hurt me like this
themaggotbassist: I may some day, I may right now, but I can not help the way I am, I need someone to help the way that is, make me see there is no reason to fear
Aquamarinejello1: oh fuck that
Aquamarinejello1: that's whta i tried to do
Aquamarinejello1: but you are just a bastard
Aquamarinejello1: i was there for you as much as you'd let me be there
Aquamarinejello1: i would've done anything to help you
themaggotbassist: ok, I am a bastard, I am not going to lie to you, it's the truth and I admit it
themaggotbassist: i hate it
Aquamarinejello1: you should
themaggotbassist: but I do not know what to do with myself about it, everytime I start to fight it it leads to me getting worst
themaggotbassist: just to let you know I am really messed up right now
themaggotbassist: I am pissing blood, my "kidney" is in so much pain, I never eat nor drink, I have bearly slept the past few days
Aquamarinejello1: sorry to hear
themaggotbassist: w/e no your not, but do relieaze I could be dieing
themaggotbassist: even though you could care less
themaggotbassist: my whole body structure is so weak, everyday I feel more and more like I will collaspe
Aquamarinejello1: hm that's funny
Aquamarinejello1: because i do care and i'm sorry to hear that
Aquamarinejello1: but "w/e"
themaggotbassist: maybe I will be lucky enough to die
No one probably read all of that, but I'm really proud of myself.
I've never done that before :\
Anywho, ta.