now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my soul to keep
today was my mother's day, sadly enough i was so "booked" i indeed had to pencil my mother in, and trust me im not proud of that fact
so ofcourse she wanted to go to church this morning, VERY early this morning, but i did not complain or really mind that much
i missed church, i missed feeling God in a room filled with more then 25 people
well here is my story about how church went...
and also a little backround for you...
i now attend avondale baptist church, where my uncle, and also my Godfather is the pastor
he is an excelent preacher and even though our families arent as close as we used to be, i love him and his wife, gloria, and his two kids dearly. i remember when i was younger i used to think that if, heaven forbid, anything were to happen to my parents that i would move in with my aunt and uncle, in their beautiful san marco home that always smelled like cinnamon, and dont get me wrong by no means did i wish anything hamrful on my parents or want this to happen, but i just thought about it
how i would become a pastors "daughter" and fit into the cookie cutter picture of a family
looking at it now sometimes it looks very fake and plastic to me, but for me when i was a child it was everything my family consistantly wasnt...whole i guess, and i only use the word "whole" because ive seen what a home filled with God, and i mean everyone in the home, looks like it...and my family doesnt mirror this image
anyways there is a little backround for you....well today at church when we were worshipping and singing songs a few rows ahead of us there sat roger, gloria, their two beautiful kids, the youth pastor and a few friends of the family....individually they were hand picked from the shows happy days and the brady bunch.....they were the image of full happiness
during one of the songs i saw roger holding gloria in his arms and they started to walk to the front, and as i peered closer i saw that she was crying, shaking, basically just red faced and teary eyed
and he led her to the front of the church, sat on the ground her with, held her in his arms and prayed for her....i couldnt help but to start crying, it was one of the most beautiful acts of love i had ever witnessed, and i realized that i desperately want that in a relationship, in a marriage, and in every friendship i make from here on out in my life
he was so open and there for her, and even though he is the pastor and he is supposed to have it all together and all holy and happy, he didnt hold back for one second to show his weaknss, his family's weakness and it was a priceless moment...and then for the first time in a long time I hear God talk to me, its never clearly words or eevn an exact feelings, but in my heart i could feel my hands physially try to rise, and i held back from the temptation because of embarrassment or fear of being looked at i guess and the urge just grew stronger so finally i just let go, sang as loud as i could, stood there with my hands raised and cried....and i hadnt felt so touched in so long
and so that is my story that i wanted to share
there is more to say about life and being home and my multiple rings from lutiple boys but that can wait for a later day
and so u know, ive said a prayer for each of you today
i love you, you are in my thoughts daily
so ofcourse she wanted to go to church this morning, VERY early this morning, but i did not complain or really mind that much
i missed church, i missed feeling God in a room filled with more then 25 people
well here is my story about how church went...
and also a little backround for you...
i now attend avondale baptist church, where my uncle, and also my Godfather is the pastor
he is an excelent preacher and even though our families arent as close as we used to be, i love him and his wife, gloria, and his two kids dearly. i remember when i was younger i used to think that if, heaven forbid, anything were to happen to my parents that i would move in with my aunt and uncle, in their beautiful san marco home that always smelled like cinnamon, and dont get me wrong by no means did i wish anything hamrful on my parents or want this to happen, but i just thought about it
how i would become a pastors "daughter" and fit into the cookie cutter picture of a family
looking at it now sometimes it looks very fake and plastic to me, but for me when i was a child it was everything my family consistantly wasnt...whole i guess, and i only use the word "whole" because ive seen what a home filled with God, and i mean everyone in the home, looks like it...and my family doesnt mirror this image
anyways there is a little backround for you....well today at church when we were worshipping and singing songs a few rows ahead of us there sat roger, gloria, their two beautiful kids, the youth pastor and a few friends of the family....individually they were hand picked from the shows happy days and the brady bunch.....they were the image of full happiness
during one of the songs i saw roger holding gloria in his arms and they started to walk to the front, and as i peered closer i saw that she was crying, shaking, basically just red faced and teary eyed
and he led her to the front of the church, sat on the ground her with, held her in his arms and prayed for her....i couldnt help but to start crying, it was one of the most beautiful acts of love i had ever witnessed, and i realized that i desperately want that in a relationship, in a marriage, and in every friendship i make from here on out in my life
he was so open and there for her, and even though he is the pastor and he is supposed to have it all together and all holy and happy, he didnt hold back for one second to show his weaknss, his family's weakness and it was a priceless moment...and then for the first time in a long time I hear God talk to me, its never clearly words or eevn an exact feelings, but in my heart i could feel my hands physially try to rise, and i held back from the temptation because of embarrassment or fear of being looked at i guess and the urge just grew stronger so finally i just let go, sang as loud as i could, stood there with my hands raised and cried....and i hadnt felt so touched in so long
and so that is my story that i wanted to share
there is more to say about life and being home and my multiple rings from lutiple boys but that can wait for a later day
and so u know, ive said a prayer for each of you today
i love you, you are in my thoughts daily