(no subject)
Well, to anyone who isn't on facebook and cares, mom, dad, and I stayed out in Houston for six weeks while he got treated with chemo and radiation. I loved it there and I love the hospital. Such an amazing place! I hated to come home. Dad did great, however, a few days after we got home he got very sick. High high fevers that wouldn't break, very weak, dizzy, low blood pressure, etc. It has been 12 weeks since treatment and recovery, and he is finally improving. However, he still has low blood pressure, some dizziness, and for some reason, he isn't eating at all! :( We leave Sunday to go back to Houston for a week of testing. Please pray or what-have-you that we get good results. This is one of the deadliest forms of cancer and he is unable to have surgery, so treatment is his only hope. :(
I am his caregiver as my mom works and my brothers have their own lives. I was very strong until just now. I'm stressed to the max with my dad, and I'm also going crazy being in the house all the time. The only time I leave is on the weekends. My mom is such a nervous wreck that she can barely handle being here alone. I don't have any friends here or money, and my girlfriend lives 45 minutes away, so I just see her on the weekends. I'm losing my fucking mind. It wasn't long ago that I was planning my life of getting a job, moving in with her, and just starting my life as a happy adult, and now I'm possibly watching my dad die, I have no accomplishments at nearly 26-years-old, and I only see my girlfriend on the weekends. She is going through a lot of bullshit and her car is broke down. I go through periods of not sleeping and then I can't get enough sleep. I also think it has something to do with my doctor wanting me to try generic paxil cr since it's cheaper. Well, the hell with that! I will pay more for my sanity, thanks.
Right now, though, I just want to cry for days, scream at everyone that looks at me, and possibly go lay down in traffic. It's been a rough few days...
I am his caregiver as my mom works and my brothers have their own lives. I was very strong until just now. I'm stressed to the max with my dad, and I'm also going crazy being in the house all the time. The only time I leave is on the weekends. My mom is such a nervous wreck that she can barely handle being here alone. I don't have any friends here or money, and my girlfriend lives 45 minutes away, so I just see her on the weekends. I'm losing my fucking mind. It wasn't long ago that I was planning my life of getting a job, moving in with her, and just starting my life as a happy adult, and now I'm possibly watching my dad die, I have no accomplishments at nearly 26-years-old, and I only see my girlfriend on the weekends. She is going through a lot of bullshit and her car is broke down. I go through periods of not sleeping and then I can't get enough sleep. I also think it has something to do with my doctor wanting me to try generic paxil cr since it's cheaper. Well, the hell with that! I will pay more for my sanity, thanks.
Right now, though, I just want to cry for days, scream at everyone that looks at me, and possibly go lay down in traffic. It's been a rough few days...