(no subject)
Last night my niece stayed over, and she was sleeping in my room with my mom and me. She wound up waking up at 3:00 a.m. because her throat was hurting, and when my mom turned on the tv, the old jackass movie was on and it was at the part where Chris Pontius is stripping. I was still half asleep and I heard my mom yelling, "What is this?!" Over and over. She said, "Alexis, close your eyes! I can't get the channel to change! OMG" And she woke me up to ask what kind of trash I had been watching. I looked up and I died laughing... told her that wasn't on when I turned the tv off and that it was just the stupid jackass movie. I started laughing SO freaking hard I was crying. My niece was dying laughing, too. She 11 (my oldest one) and she has seen some of the stuff, anyway. They couldn't go back to sleep because I was laughing so hard at how my mom reacted. (One of those things you had to be there, I guess.) Anyway, like I said, I was laughing so hard I was crying, and then I wound up sobbing my eyes out for no reason. I mean, I was already crying pretty hard from laughing, but I just let it all out and I'm not sure where it came from. It's like at that one moment I suddenly began to grasp how much God loves me, and how I spend so much of my time living for other people and worrying about what they think instead of living for God. Then my niece woke me up because she wanted to go to church, so I decided to go to the main service at the Methodist church. I had been to the little coffee shop type service, but never the main one, and I hadn't been back since the preacher visited me and it looked bad. It was very different from baptist, and I'm not really sure what I thought, but the message was VERY good, and the Church was beautiful (not that the looks of the church matters, just saying). My heart is really heavy right now because I don't really have anyone to talk to about things that I'm feeling.