(no subject)
I feel like my mind is so empty. My own limitations frustrate me almost daily. I feel like I have spent so much of my life worrying about what I simply cannot know, rather than pursuing what I can. I have this almost disturbing need to know coupled with an extremely stringent criterion for knowledge. It is the most ugly of pairings because it makes it nearly impossible for me to feel like I know anything.
I am seriously doubting my own choices at this moment. There are fields of study that I had dismissed that I now wish I had not. I'm looking to transfer soon and I need to get serious about my academic future. Luckily, I haven't really done anything with myself in a year. I need to reinvent myself and change direction. I'm finding that my mental and academic pursuits are completely subordinate to my emotional needs. I honestly feel like I need a fresh way of thinking and a high degree of proof for what I study or I am just going to fall apart. My skepticism sort of consumes me periodically and I get lost in it, I don't want that to cripple me.
Skimming what I just wrote I realise it is a silly rant. I just wanted to write my thoughts out if only for myself.
I am seriously doubting my own choices at this moment. There are fields of study that I had dismissed that I now wish I had not. I'm looking to transfer soon and I need to get serious about my academic future. Luckily, I haven't really done anything with myself in a year. I need to reinvent myself and change direction. I'm finding that my mental and academic pursuits are completely subordinate to my emotional needs. I honestly feel like I need a fresh way of thinking and a high degree of proof for what I study or I am just going to fall apart. My skepticism sort of consumes me periodically and I get lost in it, I don't want that to cripple me.
Skimming what I just wrote I realise it is a silly rant. I just wanted to write my thoughts out if only for myself.