Feelin' Contemplative
Today was a rather crazy day. Or, I guess it was yesterday. After sleeping in very late after an interesting night last night, I went shopping with Liz and Carolyn. WARNING: DO NOT shop for 5 hours. You will spend way too much money. But, it was a good time and I got a lot of shopping done and hopefully everyone will love their gifts!
So the semester is winding very quickly to a close...a couple of exams and two juries from now, I will be all done. And then, it's back to Delray. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my career and major. I love the MUB and I love all of the classes I'm taking (Psychology excluded, obviously), but I just don't know where I'm going with this anymore. Do I want to be a band director? DR and Marino are two of very few high school teachers I will remember 20 years from now, but that doesn't mean I want to be one of them. Also, I just get so stressed out about my playing. I tend to associate the level I feel my playing is at with the quality of person I am and my self esteem, which is a horrible habit that I simply cannot seem to break. I know I have so much time to decide, but I just hate not knowing. I like to have a clear picture of where I'm going and what I'm doing at all times. But, what I do know, what this semester has taught me, is that I have to do something I love. I guess all I can do now is just let things run their course and hope to find my way. Things have changed so much in one semester, though. High school feels so far away and distant from now and I know that I have grown a great deal in this semester. Being so far from home and everything I've ever known has really taught me a great deal and given me so much perspective. I take so much more in stride now than I ever did in high school, because I just can't see the point of getting stressed out about unimportant things. However, I still make the same mistakes and fall into the same patterns that I always did, which might be something that will never change. But, maybe that's okay. If I didn't make mistakes and do stupid things, I wouldn't be human.
The most important thing that I have learned, by far, is that, in the end, all that matters is how you treat and help other people. In the end, that is all this life boils down to. I miss you Pixburghers a lot. It especially sucks because I can't see you guys over breaks or whatever. I'd give anything to be going up over Christmas, but it looks like I'll be in Florida...and probably won't be going up anytime soon..at least not until next summer. But, I guess that's what happens when you move. But, I don't mean at all to forget the wonderful friends I've made here. Each and every one of you mean so much to me. The uber-special font is utilized to emphasize the fact that I do mean each and every one.
Anyway, this entry has been way too mushy and philosphical and long for my taste. It's time to get some sleep before I dive into the hell that is Meyer's Psychology textbook.
-Marissa
P.S. I bought Marla an Easy-Bake Oven! How random is that?
P.P.S A thought for the day: "For every minute you are angry with someone, you give up 60 seconds of happiness you can never get back".
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