(no subject)
So let's see.
Went to Seattle. Love Seattle. Was supposed to go for the weekend and stayed for two weeks, working for room and board at the hostel where I was staying, planning revolutions, writing poetry, figuring my shit out.
I am still in flux but a sort of more-drectioned flux. Unfortunately what I figured out is that i want a life outside what is considered acceptable by my family, which is not something that is going to go over well.
Basically I want to drop out of school and just be a poet. Having that conversation with my mother would probably prove that you can, in fact, cause people to die via telekenisis over the phone.
I just can't see how spending 2600 a semester to read books I could read on my own and garner just as much knowledge from is helping me at all, especially in a field in which having an actual BA is going to assist me absolutely nil in getting work. I feel like I'm wasting my time and money here and I'm not even enjoying it that much.
So this is a scary prospect. I'm not sure how I will approach this, but I hold that there's no reason to be unhappy. I could drop out now with no repercussions except being strangled, but things with my family are bad enough right now. I have called them very little, and since I don't have a phone they can't call me. Not talking to them doesn't really bother me at all, nor does it make my life much more difficult. I just hate that I don't even sort of want to talk to my own parents, but every time I try to talk to my mother she gives me a massive list of my faults and just manages to make me feel even worse than I did before (this is particularly true in cases where I wasn't even sure this was possible; an extremely impressive skill, if you ask me!)
I am exhausted but I will be fine. I miss Seattle. I miss nonjudgement. There's not a single person in the world who knows how to just fucking listen.
Went to Seattle. Love Seattle. Was supposed to go for the weekend and stayed for two weeks, working for room and board at the hostel where I was staying, planning revolutions, writing poetry, figuring my shit out.
I am still in flux but a sort of more-drectioned flux. Unfortunately what I figured out is that i want a life outside what is considered acceptable by my family, which is not something that is going to go over well.
Basically I want to drop out of school and just be a poet. Having that conversation with my mother would probably prove that you can, in fact, cause people to die via telekenisis over the phone.
I just can't see how spending 2600 a semester to read books I could read on my own and garner just as much knowledge from is helping me at all, especially in a field in which having an actual BA is going to assist me absolutely nil in getting work. I feel like I'm wasting my time and money here and I'm not even enjoying it that much.
So this is a scary prospect. I'm not sure how I will approach this, but I hold that there's no reason to be unhappy. I could drop out now with no repercussions except being strangled, but things with my family are bad enough right now. I have called them very little, and since I don't have a phone they can't call me. Not talking to them doesn't really bother me at all, nor does it make my life much more difficult. I just hate that I don't even sort of want to talk to my own parents, but every time I try to talk to my mother she gives me a massive list of my faults and just manages to make me feel even worse than I did before (this is particularly true in cases where I wasn't even sure this was possible; an extremely impressive skill, if you ask me!)
I am exhausted but I will be fine. I miss Seattle. I miss nonjudgement. There's not a single person in the world who knows how to just fucking listen.