(no subject)
Oh my goodness....Gwen Stefani's new cd is fuckin amazing!! I love it so much! I want to buy it...but of course...I'm going to take the easy route and just burn it off of Jackie...cuz she has it already. I don't like how the majority of my cd's are burned...but i guess it's betta than not having them at all.
Hmmmm...well....in case any of you didn't know...I have 2 jobs now..I'm working at Starbuck's and Stater Bros. The last week I've had good hours...so it's been good. The last 2 days I've worked at Stater Bros have been 2 of the best days I've had of the first 3 weeks there. I didn't get yelled at for anything...and I was early. Which...I'm not saying I've been late everyday...but...let's just say I've been late a few times...and being under my probation period..that's really bad. Yes..I know...you probly wanna chew me out or kick me in the head...cuz that's like the dummest thing you can do when you're first starting out a job....yeah yeah....I've heard it a million times. And I don't really have a good excuse...I'm just not a morning person. So...yeah.
Anyways....besides work....my life is ok. I want alot of things I'm not getting right now...so I've kind of grown impatient..but I guess I'll live.
I miss my friends like crazy....and I'm hoping to visit with them all this month. That includes you, Justin...even tho things are kinda looking not so good in that department. I still hope to atleast come and visit you.
Wanting a boyfriend has really gotten to me lately...I don't know why loneliness has taken over so much of my heart and thoughts....I really wish I didn't think about it so much. It's driving me insane....it's so sad I cry myself to sleep if I think about it enough. GRR!!
Well...I'm s'posed to go eat with Keith right now...he has yet to fill me in on what the plans are tonight.
As always Tracy's been messing with my head....like mad! He gave me a ride home lastnight...and literally caressed my face. I almost died! My heart sunk low in my chest....and all I could do is sit there with this stupid shocked look on my face...cuz I didn't know how to react. I had 2 reactions that I played over in my head a couple times before I got outta the car, either (a) I could grab his face, and kiss him, or (b) start crying. I didn't think that either one was the best reaction for this situation...so I didn't do either.
He just kinda chuckled and asked what the look was for. It's like....HELLO?! Are you stupid?! You caught me off guard....what do you expect me to do? But that's not all he's done....he's also walked up to me....pressed his body into mine....and touched noses with me...oh man. I still shiver when I think about it. Good God! I'm so pathetic. That was the first time my legs have ever trembled around a guy. How lame is that?! He acts like it's no big deal....and walks away...while I stand there speechless...and hardly able to move. God...what's wrong with me? Even when Bryan and I kissed....I didn't feel that way. Even tho...heh...it did feel nice to kiss someone I liked....it still wasn't the same feeling.
My mom's convinced he likes me...and this is his way of showing me...but unless he tells me out loud....I won't believe it.
I'm being smart I think....because that way I'm not getting my hopes up. Even tho at the same time....my heart wants so badly for him to just tell me he likes me or kiss me....OR SOMETHING....right now...that's what I want. Well....I mean...I wanna get outta R/C more...so if that happens first....than so be it.
Anyways...yeah so bleh....life is life. People are stupid...I have stupid lame puppy love....and should just be shot.
Cheers!
Hmmmm...well....in case any of you didn't know...I have 2 jobs now..I'm working at Starbuck's and Stater Bros. The last week I've had good hours...so it's been good. The last 2 days I've worked at Stater Bros have been 2 of the best days I've had of the first 3 weeks there. I didn't get yelled at for anything...and I was early. Which...I'm not saying I've been late everyday...but...let's just say I've been late a few times...and being under my probation period..that's really bad. Yes..I know...you probly wanna chew me out or kick me in the head...cuz that's like the dummest thing you can do when you're first starting out a job....yeah yeah....I've heard it a million times. And I don't really have a good excuse...I'm just not a morning person. So...yeah.
Anyways....besides work....my life is ok. I want alot of things I'm not getting right now...so I've kind of grown impatient..but I guess I'll live.
I miss my friends like crazy....and I'm hoping to visit with them all this month. That includes you, Justin...even tho things are kinda looking not so good in that department. I still hope to atleast come and visit you.
Wanting a boyfriend has really gotten to me lately...I don't know why loneliness has taken over so much of my heart and thoughts....I really wish I didn't think about it so much. It's driving me insane....it's so sad I cry myself to sleep if I think about it enough. GRR!!
Well...I'm s'posed to go eat with Keith right now...he has yet to fill me in on what the plans are tonight.
As always Tracy's been messing with my head....like mad! He gave me a ride home lastnight...and literally caressed my face. I almost died! My heart sunk low in my chest....and all I could do is sit there with this stupid shocked look on my face...cuz I didn't know how to react. I had 2 reactions that I played over in my head a couple times before I got outta the car, either (a) I could grab his face, and kiss him, or (b) start crying. I didn't think that either one was the best reaction for this situation...so I didn't do either.
He just kinda chuckled and asked what the look was for. It's like....HELLO?! Are you stupid?! You caught me off guard....what do you expect me to do? But that's not all he's done....he's also walked up to me....pressed his body into mine....and touched noses with me...oh man. I still shiver when I think about it. Good God! I'm so pathetic. That was the first time my legs have ever trembled around a guy. How lame is that?! He acts like it's no big deal....and walks away...while I stand there speechless...and hardly able to move. God...what's wrong with me? Even when Bryan and I kissed....I didn't feel that way. Even tho...heh...it did feel nice to kiss someone I liked....it still wasn't the same feeling.
My mom's convinced he likes me...and this is his way of showing me...but unless he tells me out loud....I won't believe it.
I'm being smart I think....because that way I'm not getting my hopes up. Even tho at the same time....my heart wants so badly for him to just tell me he likes me or kiss me....OR SOMETHING....right now...that's what I want. Well....I mean...I wanna get outta R/C more...so if that happens first....than so be it.
Anyways...yeah so bleh....life is life. People are stupid...I have stupid lame puppy love....and should just be shot.
Cheers!