(no subject)
Well, i guess i havn't really written in this thing...well, normally in a while. Perhaps this is the time i should tell you all how college life has completely changed me, how i'm no longer afraid to be an open book to people, even though sometimes it gets me in trouble, i don't care. How i've learned to fend for myself, how i've been lost on the bus system by myself more than once, how i've actually gone against my own will and went to a frat party, how i now realize that partying isn't for me, there's much more to my story, but you will just have to talk to me yourself to figure that out;).
I've made quite a few friends here, especially in the college of music. They're all very wonderful people in my opinion, and i get high off of hanging around them. Of course there are my Titusville friends here like Katie, Trisha, and Victoria whom i love and would risk life and limb for because i love them all, as i love you all the same, but i guess life has to be built, especially when you enter this stage of it. I feel like my life has become a gigantic tree, it branches off in so many directions, all of which aren't heading the same way, but grow just the same making the tree beautiful and full for all eyes to see. There is so much i havn't experienced, and yet, within this small amount of time i've been here, there are so many things i have experienced that i wouldn't have at home. These experiences of course enable me to feel complete. I think i am finally beginning to feel complete. It helps especially when i am surrounded by such good friends, and i feel needed in a way.
Relationship update: I think i am finally over it, he called me today and all i felt was apathy towards him, i know it's very sad but, i really don't feel anything anymore. I guess the fighting caused it, but i now know that we just won't work together. I will always have him in my heart, and will think of him, but he will not cloud my mind, nor hurt my heart anymore. I just feel so wholesome, like i finally know what i want and i know what i'm worth. I never knew i had self worth before this all happened, and for that, i am very thankful it did happen. I have also learned how it feels to give a person everything, your heart, soul, your entire self and then realize that that was the wrong one. Then of course, you realize that there will always be others, and those others won't come immediately. I'm finally learning patience and the virtues that go along with it. For the past few weeks i found myself searching for someone who could replace him, who could just hold me, for even a minute. I of course, now, have realized how wrong and selfish that was. I don't need anyone right now, and i know in my heart that's how i finally feel. It's such a liberating thing. Thank you, for teaching me what it's like to be in a relationship, what it's like to love, to feel, to hurt, to seriously fight with someone other than my family, thank you, that's all i have to say.
School update:.......school's not going so well, i need to get off my partying freshman ass attitude and start buckling down and studying, not just for me, but for the sake of my family. College classes are so awesome here, the teachers aren't douches, they're actually smart, open-minded people who think and make you do the same, i love that, i belong here. My Sight Singing teacher is my favorite as of now, just because he was in a grunge band, listens to obscure indie music, and is an awesome teacher and guy. Plus, he introduced me and my classmates to the awesomeness of Sigur Rós(which is what i'm listening to as i type). To my friends that are still back at home: I love you all dearly, thank you for being there for me when i was home, you will never know how much you all have been a part of my life and i miss every day that i'm not in Titusville spending every moment i can with each and every one of you. I love you.
This concludes my life's update...this message will self-destruct in 10 seconds...
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....ONE hah, just kidding, i totally had you guys going though, you know it!
<3, Alex
I've made quite a few friends here, especially in the college of music. They're all very wonderful people in my opinion, and i get high off of hanging around them. Of course there are my Titusville friends here like Katie, Trisha, and Victoria whom i love and would risk life and limb for because i love them all, as i love you all the same, but i guess life has to be built, especially when you enter this stage of it. I feel like my life has become a gigantic tree, it branches off in so many directions, all of which aren't heading the same way, but grow just the same making the tree beautiful and full for all eyes to see. There is so much i havn't experienced, and yet, within this small amount of time i've been here, there are so many things i have experienced that i wouldn't have at home. These experiences of course enable me to feel complete. I think i am finally beginning to feel complete. It helps especially when i am surrounded by such good friends, and i feel needed in a way.
Relationship update: I think i am finally over it, he called me today and all i felt was apathy towards him, i know it's very sad but, i really don't feel anything anymore. I guess the fighting caused it, but i now know that we just won't work together. I will always have him in my heart, and will think of him, but he will not cloud my mind, nor hurt my heart anymore. I just feel so wholesome, like i finally know what i want and i know what i'm worth. I never knew i had self worth before this all happened, and for that, i am very thankful it did happen. I have also learned how it feels to give a person everything, your heart, soul, your entire self and then realize that that was the wrong one. Then of course, you realize that there will always be others, and those others won't come immediately. I'm finally learning patience and the virtues that go along with it. For the past few weeks i found myself searching for someone who could replace him, who could just hold me, for even a minute. I of course, now, have realized how wrong and selfish that was. I don't need anyone right now, and i know in my heart that's how i finally feel. It's such a liberating thing. Thank you, for teaching me what it's like to be in a relationship, what it's like to love, to feel, to hurt, to seriously fight with someone other than my family, thank you, that's all i have to say.
School update:.......school's not going so well, i need to get off my partying freshman ass attitude and start buckling down and studying, not just for me, but for the sake of my family. College classes are so awesome here, the teachers aren't douches, they're actually smart, open-minded people who think and make you do the same, i love that, i belong here. My Sight Singing teacher is my favorite as of now, just because he was in a grunge band, listens to obscure indie music, and is an awesome teacher and guy. Plus, he introduced me and my classmates to the awesomeness of Sigur Rós(which is what i'm listening to as i type). To my friends that are still back at home: I love you all dearly, thank you for being there for me when i was home, you will never know how much you all have been a part of my life and i miss every day that i'm not in Titusville spending every moment i can with each and every one of you. I love you.
This concludes my life's update...this message will self-destruct in 10 seconds...
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....ONE hah, just kidding, i totally had you guys going though, you know it!
<3, Alex