So, here I am.
It's been years since I've even thought about livejournal. I'm not sure what brought me here today even. For the last hour, I've read some of my old entries, and some of my loved ones old entries. I relived some moments that were better off in my past. I sat here dwelling on comments from less-than-friends. I saw some of the writing on the wall. Some of the things I read seemed so difficult to decipher back then, and now they're in plain writing.
I'm a single mom. Those are words I never thought I'd have to say. As a little girl, I imagined having a big family and a bunch of kids. I didn't picture the big white wedding like so many do. I didn't dream of my ring and the husband and what my dress would look like. It wasn't the wedding. Just the children. I always attributed that to my parents being so great when we were children, and how having family values from such a young age came naturally as I grew older. So, here I am, a single mom. With one little for now, and still no dream marriage.
I've been reminiscing a little lately, before reading old entries even. I wonder what happened to some people, and others I wish I'd never met. I have these feelings of missing someone and I remember the great times. Until there weren't great times. Those memories are just what my brain is choosing. Nobody wants to keep remembering all the nights alone, or the lies. People don't want to hold on to the words from a fight or the secrets we've found. In that though, I have realized that while I'm missing someone that I think is so fantastic, they're missing from my life for a reason. Even the best intentions sometimes result in heartbreak.
I'm a passionate person. I love hard. I scream loud. I go at things whole heartedly. I feel strongly.
I'm a single mom. Those are words I never thought I'd have to say. As a little girl, I imagined having a big family and a bunch of kids. I didn't picture the big white wedding like so many do. I didn't dream of my ring and the husband and what my dress would look like. It wasn't the wedding. Just the children. I always attributed that to my parents being so great when we were children, and how having family values from such a young age came naturally as I grew older. So, here I am, a single mom. With one little for now, and still no dream marriage.
I've been reminiscing a little lately, before reading old entries even. I wonder what happened to some people, and others I wish I'd never met. I have these feelings of missing someone and I remember the great times. Until there weren't great times. Those memories are just what my brain is choosing. Nobody wants to keep remembering all the nights alone, or the lies. People don't want to hold on to the words from a fight or the secrets we've found. In that though, I have realized that while I'm missing someone that I think is so fantastic, they're missing from my life for a reason. Even the best intentions sometimes result in heartbreak.
I'm a passionate person. I love hard. I scream loud. I go at things whole heartedly. I feel strongly.