How did this escape my last post?
Well I guess it needs its own post anyway.
Okay so my siblings and I don't talk to our real dad anymore. We haven't talked to him in like 4 years, which is awkward and hurtful because he has this whole second family now. My parents got divorced when I was 7, and during their divorce my dad started abusing us a lot and blah blah blah I'll spare the whole story. So anyway fast foward to our teenage years, I confront him about his alcohol problems and drug problems and how he abused us. He lied about all of it! Every single detail. keep in mind, my father is not how you would picture an abusive alcoholic. He is a fancy business man that works high up in Sony and he lives in Florida and married into a family who is just as fancy as he appears to be. So for all these years all his friends and coworkers and my stepmom think were lieing about the abuse or my mom just brainwashed us. Wtf. So thats why we stopped talking to him, because he couldn't just admit what he did to us. I am a forgiving and loving person and I would have forgiven him. So me, my brother and my sister had to grow up in fear and fatherless because of what he did to us. And we still live with the pain every day. All I ever did was wish he could be my dad, even now.
Because of this I go look at his facebook page every so often. It kills me inside every time I do it, because I look at my other family thats from his side too, like my grandma, Every time I do it its like a knife in my chest, because I miss something that was never there, something I wish was there. Today I went on my grandma's facebook page and she posted that my great grandma died a few days ago. I didn't really care because my great grandma was a shitty person like everyone from that family. But it just hurt that no one even called to tell me. I felt like they all finally forgot about us. My dad acts like I wasn;t his daughter for 16 years :l. I know that they have been told not to contact us multiple times on other occasions, and they have tried a lot of times in the past. I guess they finally got the hint from my mom and my step dad.
Sometimes I resent my mom for making me stop talking to him. I know it was for a good reason but I wasn't ready. No one is ever ready to give up on their parent and decide to never speak to them again, especially at age 16. It hurts me every day that i think about my dad, and I always wonder if he secretly hates himself for how he ruined us. Or maybe he really is just a sociopath :/.
Okay so my siblings and I don't talk to our real dad anymore. We haven't talked to him in like 4 years, which is awkward and hurtful because he has this whole second family now. My parents got divorced when I was 7, and during their divorce my dad started abusing us a lot and blah blah blah I'll spare the whole story. So anyway fast foward to our teenage years, I confront him about his alcohol problems and drug problems and how he abused us. He lied about all of it! Every single detail. keep in mind, my father is not how you would picture an abusive alcoholic. He is a fancy business man that works high up in Sony and he lives in Florida and married into a family who is just as fancy as he appears to be. So for all these years all his friends and coworkers and my stepmom think were lieing about the abuse or my mom just brainwashed us. Wtf. So thats why we stopped talking to him, because he couldn't just admit what he did to us. I am a forgiving and loving person and I would have forgiven him. So me, my brother and my sister had to grow up in fear and fatherless because of what he did to us. And we still live with the pain every day. All I ever did was wish he could be my dad, even now.
Because of this I go look at his facebook page every so often. It kills me inside every time I do it, because I look at my other family thats from his side too, like my grandma, Every time I do it its like a knife in my chest, because I miss something that was never there, something I wish was there. Today I went on my grandma's facebook page and she posted that my great grandma died a few days ago. I didn't really care because my great grandma was a shitty person like everyone from that family. But it just hurt that no one even called to tell me. I felt like they all finally forgot about us. My dad acts like I wasn;t his daughter for 16 years :l. I know that they have been told not to contact us multiple times on other occasions, and they have tried a lot of times in the past. I guess they finally got the hint from my mom and my step dad.
Sometimes I resent my mom for making me stop talking to him. I know it was for a good reason but I wasn't ready. No one is ever ready to give up on their parent and decide to never speak to them again, especially at age 16. It hurts me every day that i think about my dad, and I always wonder if he secretly hates himself for how he ruined us. Or maybe he really is just a sociopath :/.