[Action] Chasing 'round in circles
He was doing a beautiful job of not thinking, focused only on the sound of running shoes hitting the paving, when reality called out to him.
"Oi," Nishimoto Shin was standing by the bench at the curve of the path.
"Oi yourself." He tagged the lamppost beside him as he jogged past.
"Where are you going?" Shin demanded when he didn't stop.
Touya half-turned. "Around."
"I'm not running with you!" Shin shouted.
Touya waved one hand, not bothering to turn this time. "Not asking," he called back.
He wondered what Shin was doing at the park in the middle of a workday. He wondered if he should even ask. His thoughts fell in steady time with his feet.
Shin was still by the bench when it came into sight. "Did anyone every tell you that you have no manners?" Shin called to him.
"Nakuru likes to do," he answered. He wondered if now would be a good time to ask.
"We have to talk," Shin said as Touya drew level with him.
Touya tagged the lamp again. "Oh?"
"I saw your journal entry to Yukito."
He didn't stop or even bother to slow down. "And you called me a stalker."
"It was on the screen. And...get back here! I said 'we have to TALK'."
"I'm getting to it."
His thoughts speed up and his feet followed. Did they have to talk, he wondered. He and Nishimoto? About something important enough to follow him to the park? He couldn't really see it. He and Yukito had to talk. He and Yue maybe needed to talk. Yue... Maybe it was time for Yukito and Shin to talk, for Yue and Shin to talk. Plushie and Shin, maybe.
"Why are you doing this?" Shin was sitting on the bench now, glaring at him.
Touya wiped the sweat off his brow and tagged the post. "Sakura's brat of a boyfriend can probably run circles around me when unfettered from my sister." That it could not be borne should have been obvious.
"You know I didn't mean the running."
"Yep."
"You're infuriating, did you know that?"
"I've been told a few times," he called back as he rounded the curve into the wooded part of the path.
And maybe it was even true. He liked to have his certainties and take his life as it came. He liked to think long and hard about things that required his attention and ignore anything that didn't. He made his choices and stuck to them. Except in this one area where everything was set against everything else. He sighed. Yeah, maybe he could see the infuriating part.
"We have to talk," Shin shouted to him when he came back into view.
"We are talking," Touya shouted back.
Shin gave a wordless shriek of frustration.
Touya touched the lamppost and slowed into a walk. "I've got to keep moving," he said, jerking his head meaningfully at the path in front of them.
Shin gave a haughty-sounding huff and handed him a bottle of water when he joined him. "We're worried that you're going to do something stupid on us again," Shin said.
And there it was again. The 'we'. The 'us'. Shin was--knowingly or not, though Touya would have bet real money that it was knowingly--Shin was mirroring Yukito's emotions. Where he once would have stayed out--or offered his own opinion--he was now in things, standing with Yukito even though Yukito's stance was probably NOT what Shin wanted.
He twisted the water bottle open almost savagely. "Do you trust me?" he asked calmly.
Shin scowled. "That never bodes well," he muttered.
Touya looked at him from the corner of his eye as he drank. "Seriously. Do you trust me to look out for you the same way I look out for--I dunno--Nakuru or somebody?"
"Nakuru or somebody doesn't need you looking after them," Shin's scowled deepened.
"And yet I do," Touya said patiently. "So, do you trust me to do that for you?"
Shin threw his hands up. "Maybe? I guess so?"
Touya looked at him and for one stupid, crazy second wanted to ask Shin to go to bed with him. Take an hour, go to his empty apartment, just the two of them, and prove that neither of them wanted to be with each other. "Just trust me and it'll be all right." He handed the empty bottle back to Shin. "Thanks for the water."
"Where are you going?" Shin called as he started to run again.
"Different path," he answered. "Sand builds strong ankles."
It wasn't that he was afraid Shin would say 'yes'. He knew Shin might because Shin might feel like proving something to himself. He was afraid that he, himself, might say yes if Shin did. It had been so long since anybody had been that close. Sex was one thing but that--the two of them, a quiet apartment--would be about the intimacy as much as about the bodies. Even if Nishimoto didn't know it.
It was that--the closeness, the connection--for which Touya was the most lonely. His friends could only fill so many needs, or be so much to him. Chisato had said it--there was a different level of 'something' between being a friend and being a lover. And he'd said it before (his father had confirmed it for him): if not everybody wanted to be on that level, it was a disaster in the making.
He ran and tried to go back to thinking about nothing but the burn of his muscles and the strength he was pouring into them to keep going.
"Oi," Nishimoto Shin was standing by the bench at the curve of the path.
"Oi yourself." He tagged the lamppost beside him as he jogged past.
"Where are you going?" Shin demanded when he didn't stop.
Touya half-turned. "Around."
"I'm not running with you!" Shin shouted.
Touya waved one hand, not bothering to turn this time. "Not asking," he called back.
He wondered what Shin was doing at the park in the middle of a workday. He wondered if he should even ask. His thoughts fell in steady time with his feet.
Shin was still by the bench when it came into sight. "Did anyone every tell you that you have no manners?" Shin called to him.
"Nakuru likes to do," he answered. He wondered if now would be a good time to ask.
"We have to talk," Shin said as Touya drew level with him.
Touya tagged the lamp again. "Oh?"
"I saw your journal entry to Yukito."
He didn't stop or even bother to slow down. "And you called me a stalker."
"It was on the screen. And...get back here! I said 'we have to TALK'."
"I'm getting to it."
His thoughts speed up and his feet followed. Did they have to talk, he wondered. He and Nishimoto? About something important enough to follow him to the park? He couldn't really see it. He and Yukito had to talk. He and Yue maybe needed to talk. Yue... Maybe it was time for Yukito and Shin to talk, for Yue and Shin to talk. Plushie and Shin, maybe.
"Why are you doing this?" Shin was sitting on the bench now, glaring at him.
Touya wiped the sweat off his brow and tagged the post. "Sakura's brat of a boyfriend can probably run circles around me when unfettered from my sister." That it could not be borne should have been obvious.
"You know I didn't mean the running."
"Yep."
"You're infuriating, did you know that?"
"I've been told a few times," he called back as he rounded the curve into the wooded part of the path.
And maybe it was even true. He liked to have his certainties and take his life as it came. He liked to think long and hard about things that required his attention and ignore anything that didn't. He made his choices and stuck to them. Except in this one area where everything was set against everything else. He sighed. Yeah, maybe he could see the infuriating part.
"We have to talk," Shin shouted to him when he came back into view.
"We are talking," Touya shouted back.
Shin gave a wordless shriek of frustration.
Touya touched the lamppost and slowed into a walk. "I've got to keep moving," he said, jerking his head meaningfully at the path in front of them.
Shin gave a haughty-sounding huff and handed him a bottle of water when he joined him. "We're worried that you're going to do something stupid on us again," Shin said.
And there it was again. The 'we'. The 'us'. Shin was--knowingly or not, though Touya would have bet real money that it was knowingly--Shin was mirroring Yukito's emotions. Where he once would have stayed out--or offered his own opinion--he was now in things, standing with Yukito even though Yukito's stance was probably NOT what Shin wanted.
He twisted the water bottle open almost savagely. "Do you trust me?" he asked calmly.
Shin scowled. "That never bodes well," he muttered.
Touya looked at him from the corner of his eye as he drank. "Seriously. Do you trust me to look out for you the same way I look out for--I dunno--Nakuru or somebody?"
"Nakuru or somebody doesn't need you looking after them," Shin's scowled deepened.
"And yet I do," Touya said patiently. "So, do you trust me to do that for you?"
Shin threw his hands up. "Maybe? I guess so?"
Touya looked at him and for one stupid, crazy second wanted to ask Shin to go to bed with him. Take an hour, go to his empty apartment, just the two of them, and prove that neither of them wanted to be with each other. "Just trust me and it'll be all right." He handed the empty bottle back to Shin. "Thanks for the water."
"Where are you going?" Shin called as he started to run again.
"Different path," he answered. "Sand builds strong ankles."
It wasn't that he was afraid Shin would say 'yes'. He knew Shin might because Shin might feel like proving something to himself. He was afraid that he, himself, might say yes if Shin did. It had been so long since anybody had been that close. Sex was one thing but that--the two of them, a quiet apartment--would be about the intimacy as much as about the bodies. Even if Nishimoto didn't know it.
It was that--the closeness, the connection--for which Touya was the most lonely. His friends could only fill so many needs, or be so much to him. Chisato had said it--there was a different level of 'something' between being a friend and being a lover. And he'd said it before (his father had confirmed it for him): if not everybody wanted to be on that level, it was a disaster in the making.
He ran and tried to go back to thinking about nothing but the burn of his muscles and the strength he was pouring into them to keep going.