"You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless..."
This Livejournal is now almost 4 years old. It started out as just a means to read friends’ entries and to throw out mildly witty paragraph long entries as a supplemental to my more serious Deadjournal. Over the years, it’s evolved into a whole lot more than that.
And I think it’s time in my life to let go. That is not to say I’m getting rid of it. I’m just going to for the most part cut out long entries and particularly personal entries and generally turn it back into its original purpose. I might write epic private entries, but I’m going to try to leave it at that.
For the past few years, I’ve had the mirror image of writer’s block, I have been unable to write regularly not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I have too much to say and a consistently malfunctioning filter.
I’m overwhelmed both with self-absorption and an unending disappointment and sadness about what the world was, is and is becoming. Lately, one of the things that’s kept me afloat is a Futurama quote that is steeped in the tradition of absurdist comedy:
“You can’t give up hope just because it’s hopeless… you gotta hope even more and cover your ears and go ‘blah blah blah blah blah blah’.”
And it’s hard not to embody that attitude. Everything from the endless war in Iraq (in which tens of thousands of more people will die to make a few hundred people even wealthier) to organized religion’s inhumane and frankly, totally fucking unconscionable attitudes on female sexuality (everything from Christians trying to deny women access to the HPV vaccine in the US to Muslims beating a girl to death for dating a guy from another sect in Iraq). And yes, the myriad of horrors in between. It’s hard not to feel hopeless and powerless when you’re dealing with leaders who have absolutely no regard for anything or anyone other than their own power and wealth.
And on a more simple, less important level I’m rooting for a baseball team who in spite of their talent seem to have a knack for grabbing defeat from the jaws of victory; trying to navigate the dating scene by working hard to do the opposite of what I’ve done for half my life; setting goals I don’t believe in myself enough to achieve; and trying to figure what I can do to make a damn bit of difference in the world.
That all said, I’m not giving up hope just because it’s hopeless.
Lately, I’ve actually been going out and having more fun than I’ve had in quite a while. Eli was in town from Baltimore last weekend and we had adventures that included chilling on the beach, randomly ending up at a warehouse turned art gallery opening in Bridgeport, drinking a lot of beer and playing even more Wii (every bit as great as you’ve heard). My sister’s graduation was a pretty fun weekend- the bizarre experience of being in Columbia without once being drunk (I was on antibiotics) and her trip home was marvelous and triumphant and got me out of the apartment. The Brendans are back in town and Tom’s become more social meaning I now also have people who will goad me into doing shit. Spitalfield headlined a festival and while the other bands were hopelessly mediocre, I got a chance to catch up with Mark quite a bit and after a year of not seeing I remembered how great they were live… the only pop-punk band who can unironically bring the mosh- I’ve been going to their shows for 7 years and even though a lot of the great songs are gone and a few great band members are gone- somehow it’s still just as much fun. The Sox have been profoundly bad, but nonetheless they managed to win the last game I went to 8-5 on a beautiful day in excellent seats (at the back of the section behind home plate) on a half-price Monday.
This entry is getting rather long- so I’ll wrap it up with a few thoughts:
- I love the fact that the cicadas are back. I’ve had them land on me and just watched them walk around-they’re harmless and I got to give props to a creature that lives underground for 17 years and comes up to live for a month-long party of hanging out with friends, climbing trees and mating. The noise by my parents’ house is crazy: two sounds- high (sort of like a siren) and low-pitched (like a sustained buzz) that you can hear with the windows closed. Cicadas are pretty great and pretty harmless, I think it’s funny that people are so freaked out by them.
- Support local business or something. A few weeks ago, I went to a new sandwich shop in Hyde Park (just a few blocks West of the 53rd St. Metra Electric stop) called Veggies to Go- a moderately-priced all vegetarian place and had a fake Italian Beef sandwich that so blew me away that I wanted to call everyone I knew. But I didn’t- so I’m telling you to go there now.
Mojo Music in Willowbrook (on 63rd St. about a block West of Rt. 83 on your right hand side) is closing in a couple weeks- there is a pretty big dearth of decent record stores in DuPage County and these guys have always been big on supporting local hardcore and punk bands like 2*Sweet, He Who Corrupts, Raise the Red Lantern, et al. Plus nearly everything in the store is 25% off (although this did lead to me spending $60 there on Sunday… yikes). So go and give them some support in their death throes.
- I’m going to Pittsburgh for a long weekend to hopefully watch the Sox manage to not lose two games. If not, at least I’ll get to hang out with Eli and add another notch to my postindustrial wasteland city belt (which includes St. Louis and Baltimore…).
- I saw Hot Fuzz last week and it was the funniest movie I’ve seen in at least two years. Yep, I’m saying it’s funnier than Borat, Snakes on a plane, 40 year old virgin and Wedding Crashers. What are you going to do about it? It’s just sustained laughter throughout- clever humor and satire and slapstick from the Shaun of the Dead dudes- but instead of slackers and zombies it’s policemen and creepily normal townsfolk.
- I’ve been getting a lot of Netflix lately, I can recommend several, but right now I’ll just say Bloody Sunday blew me away. It was an incredible film- Neorealist style docudrama and pretty poignant stuff about British soldiers gunning down unarmed Northern Irish civilians at a protest in Derry in 1972. Not only did it shoot in a great documentary style (hand-held camera, non-professional actors… probably location shooting- it’s not hard to see the Battle of Algiers influence), but the fact that it was a cooperative work between the British and Irish assured a degree of neutrality. For anyone interested in “the troubles” or the plight of any people who are second class citizens on their own land and the frustrations that lead them to violence*. (* not that I’m condoning the IRA- the Birmingham bombings were pretty fucked up).
- I’m currently reading Our Band Could be Your Life. A great chronicle of the ‘80s American indie scene (from Mission of Burma to the Replacements to Husker Du to Sonic Youth to Minor Threat) back when DIY and indie and punk rock actually were an ethical way of doing things rather than some sort of fashion statement to sell records.
Of course, I’ve got more to say but this entry is already violating my new shorter entry rule as it is.
And I think it’s time in my life to let go. That is not to say I’m getting rid of it. I’m just going to for the most part cut out long entries and particularly personal entries and generally turn it back into its original purpose. I might write epic private entries, but I’m going to try to leave it at that.
For the past few years, I’ve had the mirror image of writer’s block, I have been unable to write regularly not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I have too much to say and a consistently malfunctioning filter.
I’m overwhelmed both with self-absorption and an unending disappointment and sadness about what the world was, is and is becoming. Lately, one of the things that’s kept me afloat is a Futurama quote that is steeped in the tradition of absurdist comedy:
“You can’t give up hope just because it’s hopeless… you gotta hope even more and cover your ears and go ‘blah blah blah blah blah blah’.”
And it’s hard not to embody that attitude. Everything from the endless war in Iraq (in which tens of thousands of more people will die to make a few hundred people even wealthier) to organized religion’s inhumane and frankly, totally fucking unconscionable attitudes on female sexuality (everything from Christians trying to deny women access to the HPV vaccine in the US to Muslims beating a girl to death for dating a guy from another sect in Iraq). And yes, the myriad of horrors in between. It’s hard not to feel hopeless and powerless when you’re dealing with leaders who have absolutely no regard for anything or anyone other than their own power and wealth.
And on a more simple, less important level I’m rooting for a baseball team who in spite of their talent seem to have a knack for grabbing defeat from the jaws of victory; trying to navigate the dating scene by working hard to do the opposite of what I’ve done for half my life; setting goals I don’t believe in myself enough to achieve; and trying to figure what I can do to make a damn bit of difference in the world.
That all said, I’m not giving up hope just because it’s hopeless.
Lately, I’ve actually been going out and having more fun than I’ve had in quite a while. Eli was in town from Baltimore last weekend and we had adventures that included chilling on the beach, randomly ending up at a warehouse turned art gallery opening in Bridgeport, drinking a lot of beer and playing even more Wii (every bit as great as you’ve heard). My sister’s graduation was a pretty fun weekend- the bizarre experience of being in Columbia without once being drunk (I was on antibiotics) and her trip home was marvelous and triumphant and got me out of the apartment. The Brendans are back in town and Tom’s become more social meaning I now also have people who will goad me into doing shit. Spitalfield headlined a festival and while the other bands were hopelessly mediocre, I got a chance to catch up with Mark quite a bit and after a year of not seeing I remembered how great they were live… the only pop-punk band who can unironically bring the mosh- I’ve been going to their shows for 7 years and even though a lot of the great songs are gone and a few great band members are gone- somehow it’s still just as much fun. The Sox have been profoundly bad, but nonetheless they managed to win the last game I went to 8-5 on a beautiful day in excellent seats (at the back of the section behind home plate) on a half-price Monday.
This entry is getting rather long- so I’ll wrap it up with a few thoughts:
- I love the fact that the cicadas are back. I’ve had them land on me and just watched them walk around-they’re harmless and I got to give props to a creature that lives underground for 17 years and comes up to live for a month-long party of hanging out with friends, climbing trees and mating. The noise by my parents’ house is crazy: two sounds- high (sort of like a siren) and low-pitched (like a sustained buzz) that you can hear with the windows closed. Cicadas are pretty great and pretty harmless, I think it’s funny that people are so freaked out by them.
- Support local business or something. A few weeks ago, I went to a new sandwich shop in Hyde Park (just a few blocks West of the 53rd St. Metra Electric stop) called Veggies to Go- a moderately-priced all vegetarian place and had a fake Italian Beef sandwich that so blew me away that I wanted to call everyone I knew. But I didn’t- so I’m telling you to go there now.
Mojo Music in Willowbrook (on 63rd St. about a block West of Rt. 83 on your right hand side) is closing in a couple weeks- there is a pretty big dearth of decent record stores in DuPage County and these guys have always been big on supporting local hardcore and punk bands like 2*Sweet, He Who Corrupts, Raise the Red Lantern, et al. Plus nearly everything in the store is 25% off (although this did lead to me spending $60 there on Sunday… yikes). So go and give them some support in their death throes.
- I’m going to Pittsburgh for a long weekend to hopefully watch the Sox manage to not lose two games. If not, at least I’ll get to hang out with Eli and add another notch to my postindustrial wasteland city belt (which includes St. Louis and Baltimore…).
- I saw Hot Fuzz last week and it was the funniest movie I’ve seen in at least two years. Yep, I’m saying it’s funnier than Borat, Snakes on a plane, 40 year old virgin and Wedding Crashers. What are you going to do about it? It’s just sustained laughter throughout- clever humor and satire and slapstick from the Shaun of the Dead dudes- but instead of slackers and zombies it’s policemen and creepily normal townsfolk.
- I’ve been getting a lot of Netflix lately, I can recommend several, but right now I’ll just say Bloody Sunday blew me away. It was an incredible film- Neorealist style docudrama and pretty poignant stuff about British soldiers gunning down unarmed Northern Irish civilians at a protest in Derry in 1972. Not only did it shoot in a great documentary style (hand-held camera, non-professional actors… probably location shooting- it’s not hard to see the Battle of Algiers influence), but the fact that it was a cooperative work between the British and Irish assured a degree of neutrality. For anyone interested in “the troubles” or the plight of any people who are second class citizens on their own land and the frustrations that lead them to violence*. (* not that I’m condoning the IRA- the Birmingham bombings were pretty fucked up).
- I’m currently reading Our Band Could be Your Life. A great chronicle of the ‘80s American indie scene (from Mission of Burma to the Replacements to Husker Du to Sonic Youth to Minor Threat) back when DIY and indie and punk rock actually were an ethical way of doing things rather than some sort of fashion statement to sell records.
Of course, I’ve got more to say but this entry is already violating my new shorter entry rule as it is.