maybe i just need to grow a fuckin backbone
i don't know how to do this. yet again, i'm freaking out about my life. i'd apologize if i thought anyone read this anymore...
i had solidly tentatively decided to take a couple classes at nc state (3 blocks from my apt now) this summer, and a couple more in the fall to get my GPA up so that i can get into the college of humanities and social sciences. i started thinking last night thought, if i were to go back to warren wilson (this school is like the worst drug, and the most unhealthy relationship i've ever had to deal with... i can't quit) what i would change and how i would do things differently. that school was just so much more my speed, so much more of what i want than anything else.... especially a 30,000 student university down the road.
then i think about how i don't have anymore sort of direction of what i want to go into (besides the college of humanities and social sciences or CHASS). should i go somewhere new and live and try and discover more of what i want to do? will i ever want to go back to school? so many people tell me no, my parents tell me of course.
i feel like maybe i'm just wishy washy and should just put up with it and grit through it. do people think i'm just a major slacker and don't want to bear down and get my feet dirty? maybe i just need to grow a fucking backbone and suffer through it.
so i'm back at square one. incredibly frustrated with myself.
there's more life things (yes grammar i know), but it's not lj appropriate. ha. suckas.
i had solidly tentatively decided to take a couple classes at nc state (3 blocks from my apt now) this summer, and a couple more in the fall to get my GPA up so that i can get into the college of humanities and social sciences. i started thinking last night thought, if i were to go back to warren wilson (this school is like the worst drug, and the most unhealthy relationship i've ever had to deal with... i can't quit) what i would change and how i would do things differently. that school was just so much more my speed, so much more of what i want than anything else.... especially a 30,000 student university down the road.
then i think about how i don't have anymore sort of direction of what i want to go into (besides the college of humanities and social sciences or CHASS). should i go somewhere new and live and try and discover more of what i want to do? will i ever want to go back to school? so many people tell me no, my parents tell me of course.
i feel like maybe i'm just wishy washy and should just put up with it and grit through it. do people think i'm just a major slacker and don't want to bear down and get my feet dirty? maybe i just need to grow a fucking backbone and suffer through it.
so i'm back at square one. incredibly frustrated with myself.
there's more life things (yes grammar i know), but it's not lj appropriate. ha. suckas.