I see many comments giving you "suggestions", "advice", "answers", "options", "directions", etc.
But I don't see anywhere in your blog entry that you actually asked for help, suggestions, etc. So I'm wondering if others are missing your point. Is this blog entry more about you wanting your pain, frustration, anger, etc., to be acknowledged? Wanting others to mourn and wail and gnash their teeth in solidarity with you as you grieve this transition in your life?
So, I want to let you know that I HEAR you. I have been through similar times in my life, and I know that there were times I just needed to be HEARD, and the last thing I wanted was other people's simplistic, inappropriate suggestions that I had already thought of myself.
In reading your blog entry, I think I hear that you are: --incredibly frustrated with and frantic about your current situation --frustrated that it seems like a repeat of something you've been through before --angry at "God" (however you understand that concept) for letting you be in that situation and not revealing more guidance in a way you could access --angry at yourself for having trusted God and others' advice --angry at yourself for letting yourself get in this situation --angry at your self for not being able to get out of it --angry at yourself for (and scared because you are) reverting to old behaviors/reactions --scared that your physical needs for food, housing, etc. won't be met --scared that your current reactions to your situation will further isolate you and make it harder to meet your needs --still (a year later) incredibly exhausted and hurting from your struggles in Indianapolis --etc.
Beloved Oliver, I am holding you and your situation and all your pain in a great big light-filled HUG. Bet that bear friend of yours is, too, even though I presume he's in the same boat as you. We love you.
If you want to call so I can listen in realtime, let me know if you need my number. If you want me to call you, send me your number. I'll be up until around midnight (central daylight time).
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings, Natalya
I see many comments giving you "suggestions", "advice", "answers", "options", "directions", etc.
But I don't see anywhere in your blog entry that you actually asked for help, suggestions, etc. So I'm wondering if others are missing your point. Is this blog entry more about you wanting your pain, frustration, anger, etc., to be acknowledged? Wanting others to mourn and wail and gnash their teeth in solidarity with you as you grieve this transition in your life?
So, I want to let you know that I HEAR you. I have been through similar times in my life, and I know that there were times I just needed to be HEARD, and the last thing I wanted was other people's simplistic, inappropriate suggestions that I had already thought of myself.
In reading your blog entry, I think I hear that you are:
--incredibly frustrated with and frantic about your current situation
--frustrated that it seems like a repeat of something you've been through before
--angry at "God" (however you understand that concept) for letting you be in that situation and not revealing more guidance in a way you could access
--angry at yourself for having trusted God and others' advice
--angry at yourself for letting yourself get in this situation
--angry at your self for not being able to get out of it
--angry at yourself for (and scared because you are) reverting to old behaviors/reactions
--scared that your physical needs for food, housing, etc. won't be met
--scared that your current reactions to your situation will further isolate you and make it harder to meet your needs
--still (a year later) incredibly exhausted and hurting from your struggles in Indianapolis
--etc.
Beloved Oliver, I am holding you and your situation and all your pain in a great big light-filled HUG. Bet that bear friend of yours is, too, even though I presume he's in the same boat as you. We love you.
If you want to call so I can listen in realtime, let me know if you need my number. If you want me to call you, send me your number. I'll be up until around midnight (central daylight time).
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings,
Natalya
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