RIP Jonathan Larson
For those of you who don't know, today is the 9th anniversary of Jonathan Larson's death. I feel there is only so much that I can say, you know? I mean, he's the reason why I do musical theatre because he created RENT. At a time where I was low about myself I discovered RENT. It provided me the inspiration to go on and I've never looked back. I just can't understand why he's gone. I mean, he was young and so talented and nice...and young. His musical makes me cry...the entire second act just about...that's not normal. He has touched me in more ways then I could ever explain. To him I dedicate this song for forever...because it means the most sense to be about him in my life.
"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good
...We read through and sang through the whole film, for Chris and all of his department heads; the Larsons (including Matthew and Dylan McCollum, Julie Larson's sons, who were *very young* the last time I saw them and are now well on their way to being all grown up!); and six of Jonathan's closest friends, who made the journey out to San Fran especially for the event. Tim Weil played piano and I narrated the important bits of stage directions, and we all poured our hearts into it. Wow, does it move like lightning. The show always has had an incredible forward momentum, and it looks like the film will have that as well. The dancers we have been rehearsing with were all there as well, and after the reading they were all saying how much they were bawling their eyes out. I think they didn't really *know* how powerful this story is, how truly amazing the music is. It was wonderful to get to share that with them, since they will also be in the film, and are now even closer to its heart.
After the reading, we had the peasant feast, which as most of you probably know is a continuation of a tradition that Jonathan started for his friends back in NYC. He would cook a turkey and they would bring side dishes and share a holiday feast that they were all too poor to have on their own. In 1995, Jonathan held his last peasant feast, but instead of inviting his friends, he invited the cast and artistic staff of the Off-Broadway production of Rent, because he wanted all of us to know our job was to embody his friends, to honor them, and he wanted all of us to begin our road to lifelong friendship. It was a very special night, and after his death, his family took it upon themselves to continue the tradition for all of the future companies of Rent that they could get to. They have literally held them around the country, and around the world.
And at the feast, in addition to some delicious food, each of Jonathan's six friends shared some memories of Jonathan, in an effort to bring him even that much more present. It was very moving to watch them struggle at times to get through their own tears as they talked about how special he was in their lives, about how much they had seen him fight to get his work out there in the world, about how much he did try to live each day to the fullest. His friend Eddie Rosenstein talked about their fellow obsession with numbers, especially the numbers three and nine, and how perfect they were: three is the emobodiment of the building blocks of the universe (beginning, middle, and end; proton, neutron, electron, etc.), and nine is the embodiment of rebirth (it's "three on steroids," as Eddie said, and the length of human gestation, etc.). Then he fought back tears as he remarked that wasn't it perfect that this film was starting almost exactly nine years to the day of Jonathan's death, given Jonathan's interest in such cosmic notions?
At the end of the night, we got to watch a little bit of video of Jonathan performing songs from his one-man version of Tick, Tick... Boom! It never ceases to amaze me how full of life and anger and joy and talent he was, and it was right up there on the screen for us to see. He sang Johnny Can't Decide, Sunday Brunch, and Why, and as usual I was pretty much destroyed by the end of Why. It is such a cruel irony that he was gone right at the cusp of his life changing forever, after he gave so much of his life to his work. But his legacy will certainly live forever in people's hearts and memories, and now with the film, we have the opportunity to make it last longer, in an even more tangible way. We only get to do the film once, and Chris said to the Larsons that he promises to make a great film, and I am certain that he wouldn't make such a pledge if he didn't mean it.
Believe me when I tell you that most films would never in a million years organize a night like last night for its cast and crew. It might happen in a theatre production, but the film world tends to be a less close-knit community, a lot more transient and work-for-hire, in my experience, usually lacking a larger context for everyone to get wrapped up in while they're working. But Rent seems to work its magic wherever it enters people's lives. That is really a testament to Jonathan Larson, and to how he went about his life. He really intended to write a piece of theatre that would change people's lives, and therefore the world, and his show has done just that, again and again and again. Now we get the opportunity to have his show do that for a lot more people.
I thank you for all the inspiration and all the reasons to go on. I've learned so much from your musical, and I couldn't imagine life without it...and yet, I lead a life without you, the core of RENT. Nothing about you or your musical will ever be forgotten. Thank you for writing it and touching so many souls.
love, Maria
"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good
...We read through and sang through the whole film, for Chris and all of his department heads; the Larsons (including Matthew and Dylan McCollum, Julie Larson's sons, who were *very young* the last time I saw them and are now well on their way to being all grown up!); and six of Jonathan's closest friends, who made the journey out to San Fran especially for the event. Tim Weil played piano and I narrated the important bits of stage directions, and we all poured our hearts into it. Wow, does it move like lightning. The show always has had an incredible forward momentum, and it looks like the film will have that as well. The dancers we have been rehearsing with were all there as well, and after the reading they were all saying how much they were bawling their eyes out. I think they didn't really *know* how powerful this story is, how truly amazing the music is. It was wonderful to get to share that with them, since they will also be in the film, and are now even closer to its heart.
After the reading, we had the peasant feast, which as most of you probably know is a continuation of a tradition that Jonathan started for his friends back in NYC. He would cook a turkey and they would bring side dishes and share a holiday feast that they were all too poor to have on their own. In 1995, Jonathan held his last peasant feast, but instead of inviting his friends, he invited the cast and artistic staff of the Off-Broadway production of Rent, because he wanted all of us to know our job was to embody his friends, to honor them, and he wanted all of us to begin our road to lifelong friendship. It was a very special night, and after his death, his family took it upon themselves to continue the tradition for all of the future companies of Rent that they could get to. They have literally held them around the country, and around the world.
And at the feast, in addition to some delicious food, each of Jonathan's six friends shared some memories of Jonathan, in an effort to bring him even that much more present. It was very moving to watch them struggle at times to get through their own tears as they talked about how special he was in their lives, about how much they had seen him fight to get his work out there in the world, about how much he did try to live each day to the fullest. His friend Eddie Rosenstein talked about their fellow obsession with numbers, especially the numbers three and nine, and how perfect they were: three is the emobodiment of the building blocks of the universe (beginning, middle, and end; proton, neutron, electron, etc.), and nine is the embodiment of rebirth (it's "three on steroids," as Eddie said, and the length of human gestation, etc.). Then he fought back tears as he remarked that wasn't it perfect that this film was starting almost exactly nine years to the day of Jonathan's death, given Jonathan's interest in such cosmic notions?
At the end of the night, we got to watch a little bit of video of Jonathan performing songs from his one-man version of Tick, Tick... Boom! It never ceases to amaze me how full of life and anger and joy and talent he was, and it was right up there on the screen for us to see. He sang Johnny Can't Decide, Sunday Brunch, and Why, and as usual I was pretty much destroyed by the end of Why. It is such a cruel irony that he was gone right at the cusp of his life changing forever, after he gave so much of his life to his work. But his legacy will certainly live forever in people's hearts and memories, and now with the film, we have the opportunity to make it last longer, in an even more tangible way. We only get to do the film once, and Chris said to the Larsons that he promises to make a great film, and I am certain that he wouldn't make such a pledge if he didn't mean it.
Believe me when I tell you that most films would never in a million years organize a night like last night for its cast and crew. It might happen in a theatre production, but the film world tends to be a less close-knit community, a lot more transient and work-for-hire, in my experience, usually lacking a larger context for everyone to get wrapped up in while they're working. But Rent seems to work its magic wherever it enters people's lives. That is really a testament to Jonathan Larson, and to how he went about his life. He really intended to write a piece of theatre that would change people's lives, and therefore the world, and his show has done just that, again and again and again. Now we get the opportunity to have his show do that for a lot more people.
I thank you for all the inspiration and all the reasons to go on. I've learned so much from your musical, and I couldn't imagine life without it...and yet, I lead a life without you, the core of RENT. Nothing about you or your musical will ever be forgotten. Thank you for writing it and touching so many souls.
love, Maria