shithole weekend
okay thursday night nate calls me, we talk for a little while, and then he brings up the whole me and him thing again. he says he doesnt want a gf cause his parents want him to focus on school his senior year and he misses washington. he says im still really awesome (not in the cheesy way, he really meant it but it still sucked) and he totally wants to be the same way we have been, being friends and all. i told him he could tell me the truth cause i could handle it and he swore it was, so i guess i believe him. it still sucked tho. school on friday wasnt awkward or anything, so it was cool. then friday after school me and stephanie plan to have a hang out/movie thing with me and her and our two best guy friends chase and tyeler (tyeler is the one i have had problems with cause of him liking me and all that shit). turns out last minute it cant be at her house cause her parents arent home, but i cant tell my mom that cause she wouldnt let me go to tyelers (where we deicded to have it instead) cause she doesnt like him very much. so i lied, i felt really bad, and i think it was really obvious cause she asked me if she should call my cell or stephs house and i made it obvious... yeah anyways, then i go to pick up steph and angela wants to come too, sure, cool, thats fine, but she wants a ride from me and i cant have her in the car cause i have a really small backseat and my parents wouldnt allow it, so we hide her in the back and im stressing out insanely cause my parents could drive by going into town to eat supper. luckily they dont, and i covered the stephs house thing by calling them when we went over to her house to get cds. so that was cool. but i still felt like shit for lying. then okay, we are playing truth or dare at tyelers, of course its involving kissing, of course i have to be kissing [one of the guys] and [one of the guys] kissing me, which sucks because i know itll cause drama even tho we said before hand that nothing meant anything in the game. hes a good kisser tho, i must say. okay, then tyelers mom walks in on one of the times we are- she already thinks im a whore cause she knows about my police thing and shes caught me dancing on her pool table and laying on people and being raunchy but not too bad, just bad timing. so yeah that sucked. i was lameo for the rest of the night. then today, had an art show, mine didnt sell, it was really boring and our stuff blew everywhere mulitple times. and it rained, and we didnt have a covering for our stuff. then im going home, im thirsty, go to a gas station to get a drink. i pull out, fishtail, and swerve into this ditch/hill thing and bust up the front of the car. on a major highway thru town. thank god noone was driving around me when it happened cause it could have been so much worse. but yeah, the front on the passengers side is dented it, lights broken, stuff leaking cause the radiators been punctured. my hands are shaking im panicking dont know what to do so i sit in the car, call my parents, sit there more, people come i tell them im okay, three people stay to help but i dont know what to do, i get out and look at the car with them, then i sit back in it, i call stephanie, it starts raining but i dont want to close the door cause the other ppl are standing outside, one lady gets in the car with me, i know she means well but it kinda freaks me out more cause i just want my parents to come, i want to cry really bad, i know im screwed cause we were about to sell the car and now its busted up and weve lost tons of money on it, its embarassing cause everyone stares as they drive by.. etc im fine tho, all i have is marks from the seatbelt. so yeah, no more mercedes. i will never drive that car again, and i prolly wont have a car for a while. im such a freaking loser. so yeah, thats my weekend in a nutshell. love you, caitlin