(no subject)
i need people to stop telling me i'm smart. people have been telling me i'm smart since i can remember. and i am not smart. not smarter than most people, anyway. and i think if people would stop telling i'm smart than i would stop feeling like such a complete failure all the time. because the expectations for me to not only get through my life without causing myself or anyone to die or be horribly maimed, but to do amazing, brilliant things is too much. i can't live up to it. i can barely take care of myself and i'm even fucking that up plenty. i will always work for social justice, but i am never going to be the brains of the movement. so stop expecting it of me. i always learned academia and never how to work with my hands. i need to get out of head which is never smart enough, never good enough and actually learn to do good things with my body and my hands. it'll be more useful than this bullshit i'm putting myself through all the time.