you may be wrong but you may be right
I'm really mad I decided not to go to kung fu today. Truth is, auntie flo's visiting, and I was a bit worried she might freak out if I had to exercise too hard but I've only got like two weeks before I leave and only so many kung fu classes before that's it, I'm gone, bye bye Peaceful Dragon (the name of my kung fu place) and all your characters and people I've gotten to know and freak out over for basically 5 years of my life.
I always had a (possibly not-so-secret) pride in my taking kung fu, and at that particular school. The bruises I wore with a certain "that's right, I spent last night getting beat up, what did you do?" smugness that you can only understand after you've spent a night getting beat up and in pain over it and trying to figure out exactly how having bruises and difficulty walking tomorrow is going to beneficial. As a school, we don't brag, our Sifu is not like the other military-esque crazily muscled slightly frightening sifus out there, but a middle aged balding man with a chinese wife who has a very soft voice and about as intimidating as a soft teddy bear with spectacles. Of course he's also extremely good at what he does and in class and commands the respect of everyone, including the hot-headed military types.
Augh. I don't even know how to put my thoughts into words, I don't even know what I'll be missing so much about the place. The experience, the people, the hardwood floor of the studio, the strange smell of antique information, the memories. It's not as though I have lifetime friends there, but I do have lifetime training partners, I guess, people I've hardly exchanged more than ten words at most with but whom I respect and trust. It's...so odd to find bonds based not so much on talking to but experiencing other people, how they move and react and sweat. You see people through this tiny window of their lives, one or two times a week for an hour. You don't know what they do, who they go home to, what they're like outside of kung fu...
I've been there for so long, and after seeing sooo many people come and go it really hurts me to be one of the people who has to go. I have SO MANY MEMORIES of that place and the people there it's not even funny. It's been the sole facilitator in letting me interact with soo many different types of people, from huge biker types to small-boned mothers and it gave me some form of confidence, and.. god. I dunno.
Does any of this make sense? probably not, but I have to get it off my chest because I am going to fucking miss this place, and of course there's no real reason for me to go back so it's like closing a door on something that has basically defined a very good chunk of me for as long as I can remember, literally.
I guess I'll also miss the respect people gave me. Especially when I was younger and in the adult class, for the most part I got treated as an adult and I think that helped me grow up a lot. It also pretty much freaked me out for life, but whatever. I like to think people respected me for that. and I like that.
I am a kung fu kid. I will always be a kung fu kid, I hope, I will carry that part with me, and I don't mean necessarily the fancy techniques or the intricate forms or whatever. I mean I'll always be reluctant to fight, I'll always be willing to interact with people of all different types, I'll always respect those around me and I will always be ok with doing some hard work and extending effort. And I will always resent it when people hit me outside of training.
I never thought this was going to hurt so badly. I guess this is the reason why this is the biggest tag on my journal.
I always had a (possibly not-so-secret) pride in my taking kung fu, and at that particular school. The bruises I wore with a certain "that's right, I spent last night getting beat up, what did you do?" smugness that you can only understand after you've spent a night getting beat up and in pain over it and trying to figure out exactly how having bruises and difficulty walking tomorrow is going to beneficial. As a school, we don't brag, our Sifu is not like the other military-esque crazily muscled slightly frightening sifus out there, but a middle aged balding man with a chinese wife who has a very soft voice and about as intimidating as a soft teddy bear with spectacles. Of course he's also extremely good at what he does and in class and commands the respect of everyone, including the hot-headed military types.
Augh. I don't even know how to put my thoughts into words, I don't even know what I'll be missing so much about the place. The experience, the people, the hardwood floor of the studio, the strange smell of antique information, the memories. It's not as though I have lifetime friends there, but I do have lifetime training partners, I guess, people I've hardly exchanged more than ten words at most with but whom I respect and trust. It's...so odd to find bonds based not so much on talking to but experiencing other people, how they move and react and sweat. You see people through this tiny window of their lives, one or two times a week for an hour. You don't know what they do, who they go home to, what they're like outside of kung fu...
I've been there for so long, and after seeing sooo many people come and go it really hurts me to be one of the people who has to go. I have SO MANY MEMORIES of that place and the people there it's not even funny. It's been the sole facilitator in letting me interact with soo many different types of people, from huge biker types to small-boned mothers and it gave me some form of confidence, and.. god. I dunno.
Does any of this make sense? probably not, but I have to get it off my chest because I am going to fucking miss this place, and of course there's no real reason for me to go back so it's like closing a door on something that has basically defined a very good chunk of me for as long as I can remember, literally.
I guess I'll also miss the respect people gave me. Especially when I was younger and in the adult class, for the most part I got treated as an adult and I think that helped me grow up a lot. It also pretty much freaked me out for life, but whatever. I like to think people respected me for that. and I like that.
I am a kung fu kid. I will always be a kung fu kid, I hope, I will carry that part with me, and I don't mean necessarily the fancy techniques or the intricate forms or whatever. I mean I'll always be reluctant to fight, I'll always be willing to interact with people of all different types, I'll always respect those around me and I will always be ok with doing some hard work and extending effort. And I will always resent it when people hit me outside of training.
I never thought this was going to hurt so badly. I guess this is the reason why this is the biggest tag on my journal.