Herodotus!
I present to you, Herodotus' Histories, through paragraph six of Book One. Copious editing and re-editing has rendered this into something that sort of resembles acceptable English, so please forgive the fact that all of the interesting things about the Greek prose that he uses just don't work in English all that well.
Anyway, this is a little less than half of what I've done, and we've been doing Herodotus since the end of October. He is FAR LESS ANNOYING than Plato, SERIOUSLY. The segment we did after this, about why you shouldn't let your close friends watch you have sex with your wife, is much more interesting, but I haven't properly edited it yet.
Book One of Histories, by Herodotus, through ch. six
This is a display of the research of Herodotus of Halicarnassus, in order that neither the things which have happened be forgotten by men over time, nor great and marvelous deeds (some exhibited by Hellenes, others by barbarians) become without glory, both the reasons for which they made war against each other and other events.
Now, on one hand, the Persian chroniclers declare that the Phoenicians were responsible for this disagreement; for these men, coming from what we call the Red Sea, arriving via that sea and inhabiting the land in which they now dwell, immediately began to lay out long voyages by sea, bringing Egyptian and Assyrian freight and coming to Argos, among other places. Argos, during this time, was preeminent in every respect compared to the places in the land now called Hellas. But on the fifth or sixth day after they had arrived, when nearly everything had been sold by them, many women came towards the shore, especially including the daughter of the king; according to the Hellenes, she was named Io, the daughter of Inachus. These women stood around the stern of the ship, bargaining for the goods for which they had the greatest desire, and the Phoenicians, ordering each other about, set upon them. Most of the women fled, but Io and others had been seized; when the men had thrown themselves aboard, the ship had gone, sailing away towards Egypt.
Thus, Io arrived in Egypt, the Persians say (but not the Hellenes), and that this began the first of these injustices; but after these things, they declared that some of the Hellenes (for they cannot say their names), going near Tyre in Phoenicia, carried off Europa, the daughter of the king. These men might have been Kretans. Indeed, this made matters even for them. After these things, the Hellenes were at fault for the second wrongdoing. For, having sailed down in a large ship into Kolchian Aia, upon the river Phasis, thence having accomplished the other things for which they had come, they carried off Medea, the daughter of that king. This Kolchian king sent a herald into Hellas to ask justice for the kidnapping and demand the return of his daughter; they answered that those ones did not give to them justice for the capture of Io the Argive, and therefore they would not give such to him.
But they say that, in the second generation after these things, Alexander, the son of Priam, having heard these stories, wished to capture a wife from Hellas, thinking surely that he, like the others, would not owe a penalty. Thus, when he seized Helen, it occurred to these Hellenes to first send messengers to demand Helen back and to ask justice for the seizure. When they argued these things, the Trojans cited the capture of Medea, and said that the Hellenes themselves neither gave justice nor surrendered her when they demanded her return, and still wished to have justice from others.
So, until this, there were only kidnappings between one another, but after that point, the Hellenes became most greatly responsible; for they were the first to lead an expedition into Asia Minor (before the Persians did into Europe). On one hand, now, the Persians believe that to capture women is a deed of unjust men, to make haste to avenge those captured is a deed of foolish men, and to have regard for none of those captured is one of sensible men; for it is clear that, if they themselves did not wish to be, women would not be kidnapped. Indeed, the Persians say that they (the ones from Asia Minor) made no account of the captured women, but the Hellenes, on account of a Lakedaimonian woman, gathered a great force and, afterwards, going into Asia, destroyed the strength of Priam. After this, they always believed that the Hellenes were hostile towards them. The Persians claimed Asia and the barbarian peoples inhabiting it as their own, but Europe and Hellenic things they think to have been different.
The Persians say it is thus, and because of the destruction of Troy, they find that this is the beginning of their enmity towards the Hellene. But concerning Io, the Phoenicians do not agree with the Persians; for they say that they led her to Egypt without making use of kidnapping, and that in Argos she slept with the ship’s captain; when she learned that she was pregnant, feeling ashamed before her parents, she sailed willingly away with the Phoenicians, lest her condition become known. These things, now, the Persians and the Phoenicians say. But I am not going to say, concerning these things, that it happened in this or any other way, but I myself attribute to the Hellenes the beginning of the unjust deeds, and by indicating this, I proceed further into this story of men striking out against cities large and small. For they were great long ago, many of these cities which have become small, and these which were great in my time were small before. Understanding that human prosperity never remains in the same place, I shall make mention of both equally.
Kroisus, on one hand, was a Lydian with respect to his bloodline, but on the other, he was the child of Alyattes, tyrant of the nations on this side of the Halys river, which, flowing down from the south between the Syrians and the Paphlagonians, empties towards the north wind into the sea called Euxeinus. This Kroisus was the first of the barbarians of whom we know, and he subdued some of the Hellenes into paying tribute, but won over some others of them as friends. He subdued the Ionians, the Aeolians, and the Dorians in Asia Minor, but won over the Lakedaimonians as friends. Before the rule of Kroisus, all Hellenes were free.
In other news, I made oatmeal cookies. Also, I have winter squash, yams, and a crockpot; only good can come of this.
Anyway, this is a little less than half of what I've done, and we've been doing Herodotus since the end of October. He is FAR LESS ANNOYING than Plato, SERIOUSLY. The segment we did after this, about why you shouldn't let your close friends watch you have sex with your wife, is much more interesting, but I haven't properly edited it yet.
Book One of Histories, by Herodotus, through ch. six
This is a display of the research of Herodotus of Halicarnassus, in order that neither the things which have happened be forgotten by men over time, nor great and marvelous deeds (some exhibited by Hellenes, others by barbarians) become without glory, both the reasons for which they made war against each other and other events.
Now, on one hand, the Persian chroniclers declare that the Phoenicians were responsible for this disagreement; for these men, coming from what we call the Red Sea, arriving via that sea and inhabiting the land in which they now dwell, immediately began to lay out long voyages by sea, bringing Egyptian and Assyrian freight and coming to Argos, among other places. Argos, during this time, was preeminent in every respect compared to the places in the land now called Hellas. But on the fifth or sixth day after they had arrived, when nearly everything had been sold by them, many women came towards the shore, especially including the daughter of the king; according to the Hellenes, she was named Io, the daughter of Inachus. These women stood around the stern of the ship, bargaining for the goods for which they had the greatest desire, and the Phoenicians, ordering each other about, set upon them. Most of the women fled, but Io and others had been seized; when the men had thrown themselves aboard, the ship had gone, sailing away towards Egypt.
Thus, Io arrived in Egypt, the Persians say (but not the Hellenes), and that this began the first of these injustices; but after these things, they declared that some of the Hellenes (for they cannot say their names), going near Tyre in Phoenicia, carried off Europa, the daughter of the king. These men might have been Kretans. Indeed, this made matters even for them. After these things, the Hellenes were at fault for the second wrongdoing. For, having sailed down in a large ship into Kolchian Aia, upon the river Phasis, thence having accomplished the other things for which they had come, they carried off Medea, the daughter of that king. This Kolchian king sent a herald into Hellas to ask justice for the kidnapping and demand the return of his daughter; they answered that those ones did not give to them justice for the capture of Io the Argive, and therefore they would not give such to him.
But they say that, in the second generation after these things, Alexander, the son of Priam, having heard these stories, wished to capture a wife from Hellas, thinking surely that he, like the others, would not owe a penalty. Thus, when he seized Helen, it occurred to these Hellenes to first send messengers to demand Helen back and to ask justice for the seizure. When they argued these things, the Trojans cited the capture of Medea, and said that the Hellenes themselves neither gave justice nor surrendered her when they demanded her return, and still wished to have justice from others.
So, until this, there were only kidnappings between one another, but after that point, the Hellenes became most greatly responsible; for they were the first to lead an expedition into Asia Minor (before the Persians did into Europe). On one hand, now, the Persians believe that to capture women is a deed of unjust men, to make haste to avenge those captured is a deed of foolish men, and to have regard for none of those captured is one of sensible men; for it is clear that, if they themselves did not wish to be, women would not be kidnapped. Indeed, the Persians say that they (the ones from Asia Minor) made no account of the captured women, but the Hellenes, on account of a Lakedaimonian woman, gathered a great force and, afterwards, going into Asia, destroyed the strength of Priam. After this, they always believed that the Hellenes were hostile towards them. The Persians claimed Asia and the barbarian peoples inhabiting it as their own, but Europe and Hellenic things they think to have been different.
The Persians say it is thus, and because of the destruction of Troy, they find that this is the beginning of their enmity towards the Hellene. But concerning Io, the Phoenicians do not agree with the Persians; for they say that they led her to Egypt without making use of kidnapping, and that in Argos she slept with the ship’s captain; when she learned that she was pregnant, feeling ashamed before her parents, she sailed willingly away with the Phoenicians, lest her condition become known. These things, now, the Persians and the Phoenicians say. But I am not going to say, concerning these things, that it happened in this or any other way, but I myself attribute to the Hellenes the beginning of the unjust deeds, and by indicating this, I proceed further into this story of men striking out against cities large and small. For they were great long ago, many of these cities which have become small, and these which were great in my time were small before. Understanding that human prosperity never remains in the same place, I shall make mention of both equally.
Kroisus, on one hand, was a Lydian with respect to his bloodline, but on the other, he was the child of Alyattes, tyrant of the nations on this side of the Halys river, which, flowing down from the south between the Syrians and the Paphlagonians, empties towards the north wind into the sea called Euxeinus. This Kroisus was the first of the barbarians of whom we know, and he subdued some of the Hellenes into paying tribute, but won over some others of them as friends. He subdued the Ionians, the Aeolians, and the Dorians in Asia Minor, but won over the Lakedaimonians as friends. Before the rule of Kroisus, all Hellenes were free.
In other news, I made oatmeal cookies. Also, I have winter squash, yams, and a crockpot; only good can come of this.