Writing. Angst. AAAANGST.
So, while we were at Powell's today after the protest, sakuratsukikage picked up a book of 1,001 writing prompts. This evening, we all had a writing party in the apartment living room. It was excellent. My prompt was: "Look... I'm making eggs. There's no deeper meaning to anything I'm doing here. It's breakfast. Plain and simple." The core image itself started
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First things first.
I love Ryoushi. (I am a complete fangirl for him.)
Kaida is a badass. She always has been and continues to be so. I think Midori has sort of a crush on her, in the platonic way you get crushes on people you think are amazingly cool.
Now that that's out of the way :P.
Man, the beginning was just . . . ouch. It's a beginning that's been done before in writing, so it feels very familiar, follows a set pattern, in a way, and so you can see it coming, but it's still . . . . ouch, and it feels totally new and shocking and very personal--you really feel that this is his loss in that section, and that's very impressive to me.
The stray cat analogy was also very ow, but at the same time very powerful and affecting. The comparison between Natsumi and Kaida I also really liked. I thought your wording was really good through that section, and it was really really . . . in character, for everyone involved? Or something.
I also really liked that he lied about how good it was.
Um . . . is last night the "your mom" kind of last night? Because I'm getting the feeling that it might have been, but I'm not sure . . . either way, hello awkward. Not that they needed any help with that, either of them.
The ending was very well done, I thought. Very good. I really liked the way you intercut his desperately denying thoughts. *nod nod*
So yeah, great job! Seriously.
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