I'm singing it loud -- and I don't care
My thoughts are jumbled (okay, so when aren't they?), so bear with me, gentle viewer.
I think I might be a creative person and I appreciate creativity, but sometimes I feel like I'm lying to myself. I'm really talentless. Or, if I do have talent, it's untapped, just collecting dust on the shelf. I know I have to "believe in myself" and try, yada yada, but it always frustrates me. It goes in a cycle... first, I'm hopeful. Next, I do believe in myself and I take teeny baby steps. Then, I'm fearful and take a huge jump backwards, thus not getting anywhere at all. Somehow I get back to hopeful after a while, mostly with the help of friends and a little spark within myself.
Jacob's in a band. My other friends have talent and know it. They've set their goals clearly.
Last night when I was eating with Jacob, and he started talking about the possibly possible possibilites... being a successful and/or famous musician. Having people we knew from school hear his music or see him on TV... and he said, "and they'll see you on TV."
You know.. why not? It'd be hilarious. Why hilarious, you ask? Everyone just saw me as that painfully shy, quiet, even "mute" girl (yes, the mute thing was just a joke but sometimes jokes hurt, dammit). If there was a section for "shyest" in the year book, they would have voted for me. Yep, even though I was a cheerleader. I'd be the last one they'd expect to see. Which has always helped to spark a little fire in me.
Not that it's the only reason to try. I wanna try because it's a passion that I can't make go away. Fame doesn't really matter all that much and I understand it does have drawbacks. It'd just be an added bonus to give them all a bit of a shock. And we all want to be noticed.
I'm not shy. Not all of me. Labels suck.
I think I might be a creative person and I appreciate creativity, but sometimes I feel like I'm lying to myself. I'm really talentless. Or, if I do have talent, it's untapped, just collecting dust on the shelf. I know I have to "believe in myself" and try, yada yada, but it always frustrates me. It goes in a cycle... first, I'm hopeful. Next, I do believe in myself and I take teeny baby steps. Then, I'm fearful and take a huge jump backwards, thus not getting anywhere at all. Somehow I get back to hopeful after a while, mostly with the help of friends and a little spark within myself.
Jacob's in a band. My other friends have talent and know it. They've set their goals clearly.
Last night when I was eating with Jacob, and he started talking about the possibly possible possibilites... being a successful and/or famous musician. Having people we knew from school hear his music or see him on TV... and he said, "and they'll see you on TV."
You know.. why not? It'd be hilarious. Why hilarious, you ask? Everyone just saw me as that painfully shy, quiet, even "mute" girl (yes, the mute thing was just a joke but sometimes jokes hurt, dammit). If there was a section for "shyest" in the year book, they would have voted for me. Yep, even though I was a cheerleader. I'd be the last one they'd expect to see. Which has always helped to spark a little fire in me.
Not that it's the only reason to try. I wanna try because it's a passion that I can't make go away. Fame doesn't really matter all that much and I understand it does have drawbacks. It'd just be an added bonus to give them all a bit of a shock. And we all want to be noticed.
I'm not shy. Not all of me. Labels suck.