:(
[mood | 
distressed]
[music | modest mouse]
Today I had 1 mini jar of organic baby food (35), few bites of lettuce (5), bit of tofu (70) and then my dad came home with chinese food to "surprise me with takeout tofu". It was a really sweet gesture of him, and I feel bad that I practically threw it all away. But I ate about 5 small bites to make him happy, and now I feel really icky. Afterwards I smiled and excused myself to do my homework. I almost instantly broke into tears, it was so hard to eat that knowing that I wouldn't be able to purge afterwards. I can't stop thinking about the food down there. I wish my parnets wern't so insistant that I eat, and then watch me like a hawk to make sure that I eat it and keep it down. So.. add about 200-400 calories to my total? I like to overestimate my intake if I don't know the exact amount =/
This won't happen again. They let me do my own thing more often then "surprise! fat food that you have to take five bites of because we're watching you don't make us send you back to dr. moore!"
Um.
I've lost 3 pounds since Saturday? That's all I really have to say, besides my whole forced takeout food drama up there.
distressed]
[music | modest mouse]
Today I had 1 mini jar of organic baby food (35), few bites of lettuce (5), bit of tofu (70) and then my dad came home with chinese food to "surprise me with takeout tofu". It was a really sweet gesture of him, and I feel bad that I practically threw it all away. But I ate about 5 small bites to make him happy, and now I feel really icky. Afterwards I smiled and excused myself to do my homework. I almost instantly broke into tears, it was so hard to eat that knowing that I wouldn't be able to purge afterwards. I can't stop thinking about the food down there. I wish my parnets wern't so insistant that I eat, and then watch me like a hawk to make sure that I eat it and keep it down. So.. add about 200-400 calories to my total? I like to overestimate my intake if I don't know the exact amount =/
This won't happen again. They let me do my own thing more often then "surprise! fat food that you have to take five bites of because we're watching you don't make us send you back to dr. moore!"
Um.
I've lost 3 pounds since Saturday? That's all I really have to say, besides my whole forced takeout food drama up there.