(no subject)
Title: Rhymes with Grapes
Author: Bagelbunion
Genre: Humor, AU?
Characters: SasukexNaruto
Rating: PG-15?
Warnings: fire?
Summary: Naruto wants pocky, bad. He's willing to do anything to get it. Including giving the rookie nine a strip tease.
AN: challenge issued by hourglasssand Must include: SasuxNaru, pocky, fire, the phrase, "only if you do a strip tease in front of the whole damn rookie nine" and strange use of kage bunshin.
It can't include: SasuxSaku, the words "orange" or "blonde", drama or angst, or flying monkies.
"C'mon Sasuke! Please?!"
"No."
"PLEASE!"
"For the last time, Naruto: No."
"C'mon… I'll be your best friend forever!"
Sasuke smirked, picking up another pocky stick and putting it into his mouth. "Dobe, you're already my best friend."
"Aww… c'mon Sasuke! You know mocha pocky is my favorite!"
"And that's exactly why I'm not giving you any."
Naruto growled, clenching his fists at his side. "I'll give you something…"
"Oh?" Sasuke tilted his head with interest. "Like what?"
"Something good."
Sigh. "Naruto, you have to come up with something better than that. And if you don't stop whining, I'm going to set you on fire."
"I'll let you do naughty things with a kage bunshin."
Sasuke raised both eyebrows, inadvertently biting the current stick in his mouth. "Naughty things…?"
Naruto nodded. "Yeah." He reached out his hands, swiping for a stick of pocky. "Now let me have some!"
Sasuke shook his head. "Only if you do a strip tease in front of the whole damn rookie nine." He smirked, showing all of his pearly white teeth.
Naruto pouted, hanging back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Hmm…" He mulled, scowling. "Does it have to be all of them at the same time or can it be separately?"
"Don't tell me you're actually considering it?! Naruto, it's just a stick of bread with frosting!"
"They're good!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, pocketing his pocky and walking away. "Naruto…you…" he shook his head as he walked. "Idiot."
+++++
"Oh…it's you. Bout time you came home, where have you been?" Sasuke tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear and laid back down, pulling the covers up over his shoulder. He peeked an eye open as Naruto remained standing over the bed, watching him with a grin. "What are you doing? It's late."
Naruto's grin only grew. "You said I had to do a strip show in front of the rookie nine. I think that includes you, Sasuke."
Sasuke sat up in bed, about to open his mouth and tell Naruto off for being stupid, but his tongue froze in his mouth as Naruto starting singing the Icha-Icha theme and unzipping his coat ever so slowly. Sasuke didn't say much for the rest of the night. At least, not words.
++++++++
The next day, Sasuke found seven separate letters addressed to him. He brought them inside and opened them one by one, scowling even darker as he read each one.
'Sasuke-kun-
I don't care what you and Naruto do in your private time, but please leave me out of it. Unless you decide to send a kage bunshin of yourself over and do a strip tease instead.
-Sakura'
+++
'Dear Sasuke-kun,
I don't know what possessed you to bribe Naruto to do a strip tease for me, but whatever it is, DON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN! I'm going to have rinse my eyes out with bleach. Next time, why don't you come over and do a strip show instead?
Love,
Ino'
+++
Sasuke's eye had started to develop a twitch as he reached for the next one.
+++
'Sasuke-
Don't you know better than to dare Naruto to do something? Can I have some of that pocky too?
-Chouji'
+++
'Sasuke-
Do that again, and I will kill you.
-Shino'
+++
'Sasuke,
I don't know what kind of crazy, perverted games you and Naruto get up to, but please leave me out of it. Do you know how bothersome it was it to get that damn kage bunshin out of my house *with* his clothes on?! You owe me a new door.
-Shikamaru
+++
'Sasuke,
Just *give* him the pocky next time. I don't want to see Naruto naked ever again!
-Kiba
+++
'Uchiha-san,
Thank you. #^_^#
-Hinata'
+++
"That stupid…" Sasuke fumed. "Of all the nonsensical, idiotic things…!"
"Hey Sasuke, you got a letter." Naruto strolled in, pocky in mouth and handed Sasuke a small envelope.
"But…" Sasuke blinked at it. That was all the rookie nine. He stared at the letters on the table, counting them to make sure. Confused, he opened it up.
'Sasuke,
How come I didn't get one? I had to spy on Hinata's.
Can I come over?
-Neji'
Sasuke tore the letters up and promptly set them on fire.
Naruto grinned around his pocky stick.
~Owari
Author: Bagelbunion
Genre: Humor, AU?
Characters: SasukexNaruto
Rating: PG-15?
Warnings: fire?
Summary: Naruto wants pocky, bad. He's willing to do anything to get it. Including giving the rookie nine a strip tease.
AN: challenge issued by hourglasssand Must include: SasuxNaru, pocky, fire, the phrase, "only if you do a strip tease in front of the whole damn rookie nine" and strange use of kage bunshin.
It can't include: SasuxSaku, the words "orange" or "blonde", drama or angst, or flying monkies.
"C'mon Sasuke! Please?!"
"No."
"PLEASE!"
"For the last time, Naruto: No."
"C'mon… I'll be your best friend forever!"
Sasuke smirked, picking up another pocky stick and putting it into his mouth. "Dobe, you're already my best friend."
"Aww… c'mon Sasuke! You know mocha pocky is my favorite!"
"And that's exactly why I'm not giving you any."
Naruto growled, clenching his fists at his side. "I'll give you something…"
"Oh?" Sasuke tilted his head with interest. "Like what?"
"Something good."
Sigh. "Naruto, you have to come up with something better than that. And if you don't stop whining, I'm going to set you on fire."
"I'll let you do naughty things with a kage bunshin."
Sasuke raised both eyebrows, inadvertently biting the current stick in his mouth. "Naughty things…?"
Naruto nodded. "Yeah." He reached out his hands, swiping for a stick of pocky. "Now let me have some!"
Sasuke shook his head. "Only if you do a strip tease in front of the whole damn rookie nine." He smirked, showing all of his pearly white teeth.
Naruto pouted, hanging back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Hmm…" He mulled, scowling. "Does it have to be all of them at the same time or can it be separately?"
"Don't tell me you're actually considering it?! Naruto, it's just a stick of bread with frosting!"
"They're good!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, pocketing his pocky and walking away. "Naruto…you…" he shook his head as he walked. "Idiot."
+++++
"Oh…it's you. Bout time you came home, where have you been?" Sasuke tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear and laid back down, pulling the covers up over his shoulder. He peeked an eye open as Naruto remained standing over the bed, watching him with a grin. "What are you doing? It's late."
Naruto's grin only grew. "You said I had to do a strip show in front of the rookie nine. I think that includes you, Sasuke."
Sasuke sat up in bed, about to open his mouth and tell Naruto off for being stupid, but his tongue froze in his mouth as Naruto starting singing the Icha-Icha theme and unzipping his coat ever so slowly. Sasuke didn't say much for the rest of the night. At least, not words.
++++++++
The next day, Sasuke found seven separate letters addressed to him. He brought them inside and opened them one by one, scowling even darker as he read each one.
'Sasuke-kun-
I don't care what you and Naruto do in your private time, but please leave me out of it. Unless you decide to send a kage bunshin of yourself over and do a strip tease instead.
-Sakura'
+++
'Dear Sasuke-kun,
I don't know what possessed you to bribe Naruto to do a strip tease for me, but whatever it is, DON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN! I'm going to have rinse my eyes out with bleach. Next time, why don't you come over and do a strip show instead?
Love,
Ino'
+++
Sasuke's eye had started to develop a twitch as he reached for the next one.
+++
'Sasuke-
Don't you know better than to dare Naruto to do something? Can I have some of that pocky too?
-Chouji'
+++
'Sasuke-
Do that again, and I will kill you.
-Shino'
+++
'Sasuke,
I don't know what kind of crazy, perverted games you and Naruto get up to, but please leave me out of it. Do you know how bothersome it was it to get that damn kage bunshin out of my house *with* his clothes on?! You owe me a new door.
-Shikamaru
+++
'Sasuke,
Just *give* him the pocky next time. I don't want to see Naruto naked ever again!
-Kiba
+++
'Uchiha-san,
Thank you. #^_^#
-Hinata'
+++
"That stupid…" Sasuke fumed. "Of all the nonsensical, idiotic things…!"
"Hey Sasuke, you got a letter." Naruto strolled in, pocky in mouth and handed Sasuke a small envelope.
"But…" Sasuke blinked at it. That was all the rookie nine. He stared at the letters on the table, counting them to make sure. Confused, he opened it up.
'Sasuke,
How come I didn't get one? I had to spy on Hinata's.
Can I come over?
-Neji'
Sasuke tore the letters up and promptly set them on fire.
Naruto grinned around his pocky stick.
~Owari