(kamenashi) Hayato; my son... my lover... II
Akirashock04: hey, lovin your HAYATOxKAME better!!!! Thank you so much!!! Now, I finally post it...
*i'm such a nervous wreck right now
Akame_hime: YOU!!! *saying it in Johnny's tone.* thank you for always listening! and giving me advises always.
Kawaiikame: you're the one that knows this fic's rough drafts besides akira and hime. and thank you so much for being patient with me.
Kazuha_ono: how many times did you brick me? and you bribed me too!!! *grins. thank you!!
-Thank you so much everyone who's reading it!!! ah... anou... please go easy on me...
and i should be really updating special happiness... *laughs nervously.
*cookies? dame? ummm... bribes everyone with cupcakes?
well... *runs off
Yamapi looked at Maru, hoping the older man could think of something fast.
But Maru only looked back at him, and the girl, and the basket.
"Rika-san... this is not the best time to come, really."
Maru started.
"You of all people, should know, right?"
"I understand, Nakamaru-san. But..."
"And why isn't she here herself?"
Yamapi said coldly.
"It's her problem, why is she sending a messenger?"
"Sumimasen..."
Rika bowed.
"But-"
Rika herself stopped talking the moment she saw him.
Kame stood behind Pi and Maru, with a blank expression, eyes tired and red from crying, and he looks so weak and vulnerable.
She bowed showing respect to him, and Kame returned the action only slightly, without much effort.
"Ah, wrong..."
Yamapi trailed.
"Wrong address, Kame."
He pointed.
"Right, so the place you were looking for is three blocks down, and make a right after-"
Maru nodded, playing along hoping the younger man would buy it.
"I heard..."
Kame mumbled, stopping Maru from his ranting on nonesense.
"Come in."
Rika nodded, and hesitantly walked past the other two with uneasyness in her stomach.
Normally, she would scream, flail, and jumped up and down, like any other fan gilrs, because who is she to say if she isn't a fan of KAT-TUN?
In Japan, everyone likes, no, LOVES the six of them.
The six of them may have debuted late, but, they even surpassed their greatest senpais, thus becoming very busy everyday of the month, even working on holidays and weekends.
And plus, Yamashita Tomohisa is there, so it's all in the package, all girls would kill, to be in the same room with them.
But this is not one of those situations, and she knows that.
She sat down on the sofa, and Koki, Junno, Ueda, and Pi sat across from her, staring at her, frowning at her. She kept on moving from left to right, uneasy being watched like this by them.
Kame eventually took a seat, and Maru placed a cup of tea for her and the other for Kame.
"Anou..."
She fidgeted.
"Kamenashi-san..."
"Where is she?"
Kame cut her off.
"Ayumi is..."
She gulped.
"To tell you the truth, she's scared, and as her friend, I know her quite well..."
She looked down on the floor, not sure on what else to add to that.
No one talks after that, the others just look at Kame, waiting for him to say something.
Kame looked at the carriage that sits next to her on the sofa.
He saw the little bundle wrap in the blue blanket.
"Ayumi and Jin..."
Kame gulped, wanting to cry again.
Rika shook her head.
"Akanishi-san said it was just a mistake... And that, he regret on doing this to you..."
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, hoping she won't pass out because of the intensity in the room. Rika hated Ayumi for putting her in this position. But she won't abondon it, unlike her. Somefriend Ayumi is.
"Akanishi-san one day came to talk to Ayumi when I was around-"
"THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
Pi stood on his feet, glaring at the girl.
"Yamashita..."
Koki throw him a look, and slowly, Pi sat back down.
"Ayumi found out she was pregnant, and told Akanishi-san about it almost three months in the process."
She took out papers from her bag.
"She wanted to abort it... but Akanishi-san was against it, and that he'd take responsibility."
Rika laid out the official documents on the table for the idols to see.
"They're real... me and Ayumi didn't fake this, and I can guarantee you that, if not, then you can hunt me down, and destroy me."
She said softly.
The room is silent, no one is talking, and Kame just stare at the papers on the table.
"This is his birth certificate, and prove that his DNA and Akanishi-san's are the same. He also made sure of this."
She puts them on the table.
Everyone is now gaping.
"Honto da..."
Maru mumbled to himself, nodding.
Everyone eyed Kame again, the man didn't say anything since the start.
"So... your intention here?"
Pi asked coldly.
"I'm bringing this baby to Kamenashi-san."
She replied.
"Oi... Don't mess around you bitch!"
Koki glared at her.
"Why are you bringing this child to him, when he's not even his?!"
"Koki..."
Nakamaru clutched on his sleeve.
"Get out!"
Pi pointed to the door.
"If it's money or some kind that you want, we'll have our manager write you a check and send it to you."
He spat.
"How much do you want?
"I mean no harm, I'm not asking for money, or nor am I going to tell the public about this."
She eyed them.
"I'm not trying to do anything bad, honestly."
She bowed.
"Please believe me, and I'm not lying."
Pleading in front of the six men.
"I don't know what happens, but... don't throw him out... he's not wrong, he's a baby.. he's innocent."
She looked at the baby in the basket and wipes her tears.
The others hated to admit that she's right.
But can't she also understand how Kame stands right now?
"Kame..."
Ueda put his hand on top of the younger one's.
Kame stare at the basket, and itscontent.
Looking at the bundle...
He feels his heart breaking even more, yet... somehow it feels a little lighter on his chest.
"Here..."
Rika took another paper from the side of the baby basket.
"When I saw it briefly, it looks like it's a letter from Akanishi-san."
She placed it on the table, and slowly push it towards Kame's direction.
Kame just stare at the piece of paper.
It was few minutes later that he picked up the plain looking piece, and unfolds it.
My dearest Kazu,
Now, this isn't what you're thinking, but I'm writing this letter to help me prepare myself on explaining it to you, directly, face to face.
I don't want to give you a letter, and have you read it, no, that's not really manly.
And I know, if I just hand this in for you to read, I can justimagine later on, you'd be making fun of me on writing mostly in Kana and Hiragana.
I am a baka, so my Kanji is limited, as I still have a problem writing Nakamaru's name all this time, thinking it's NakamUra, hahaha.
But I know yours by heart... always.
From the first time I saw them, and till now, I still remember, and I know how to write yours properly.
Characters of turtle and pear, ne?
Okay, this is getting off topic...
I'm not pushing you to forgive me soon, or expect you to treat me the same, no...
But, I hope you do forgive me somehow.
I'm sorry, Kazuya.
I guess no matter what I do, I'd end up hurting you.
Why are you with me?
I wonder, most of the times.
You're the nicest, most caring person, and I'm sure there are others out there that are much much much better than me, and yet... you chose to be with me.
But I am very thankful, so thankful, and very lucky.
You understand this baka so much, you know how to handle me, you take care of me, and you were with me during my hard times, and never complain.
When we fight, you'd always back down first, and let me win, even if I am at the wrong, and you still love me despite everything.
You bit back your tounge and let me have my ways with most of the things.
And when I wanted to leave, you didn't stop me and told me that you're 100% supported me.
I realized now when I think back at that time... you were so hurt, and just want me to be with you, having me by yourside and support you and yet... iI left/
But this is the lowest of the low I've done to you huh, love?
Even though I know she means nothing, but I did it to you. And I would never forgive myself for that.
When I learned she was pregnant, and it was mine... the only thing that came up into my mind was you.
How screwed up I am right now, and I cried, afraid of losing you.
I'm afraid right now too, Kazu...
I still remember that look you gave me, the look in your eyes... disappointment, hurt, crushed, and... I'm the cause of that... again.
I expected you to yell at me, hit me, beat me up till I'm left unconcious.
But you just walked away.
I know I probably have no right in saying this, but when you walked out...
I couldn't breathe, everything around me is dark, and I'm lost.
Was this the same feeling you felt when I left you a few years ago?
I['m sorry...
I'm taking responsibility for my action, Kazu.
And Ayumi is allowing me to do that, and I'll raise him.
I hope someday, somehow, you'd forgive me.
His name is Hayato.
No, I didn't pick this name out on whim, or just because...
I did chose Hayato because of Gokusen.
The reason is, Hayato always supports Ryu, and vice versa.
And he will stick by Ryu's side, no matter what happens.
Even though Hayato and Ryu is fictional... this Hayato would at least be real, and gives support to you...
And... it does remind me of the times where we get to be alone... off from the jimusho.
It was hectic, ne?
But, since you were there, by myside, being my Kazuya, and being my Ryu...
Everything was easy, and bearable.
I'm sorry, Kazu...
I know sorry doesn't cut it, but... I really am.
This baka, is once again, asking for his love to forgive him.
If I was this baka's love... and you ask me... "would you forgive him?'
Maybe no, huh?
Yeah, deffinately no.
And yet... unfortunately, on my own fault and carelessness, I became that baka.
I'll raise him to be a better man than his own dad.
I really do love you, Kazuya.
If I could turn back the hands of time, I would undo all those painful things I've caused to you.
And become a better man for you.
I regret it, Kazu... I regret seeing you cry, and frustrated because of me, and not do anything about it.
When I forced myself to think that somehow I survive... I can't, I know I won't.
I still need you.
I still love you.
But... it's okay... don't be with me, Kazu.
I hate to lose you.
But, I would hate it even more if I see you sad...
Me being with you, only brings you into depression ne?
That's why... You should be with someone, who can make you happy.
Someone that doesn't cause the tears of frustration, someone that doesn't hurt you like I did.
It'll be painful, huh?
Just like the way you feel when I hurt you.
But, is it okay if I still love you?
Love Always,
Jin
Kame tried to calm himself down, trying to stop the tears coming out a bit.
But the more he tries, the more it comes down.
He stood by the window in the living room, looking up at the night sky.
T-TUN and Pi with Rika and baby Hayato on the couch, watching worriedly over Kame.
"Kame..."
Nakamaru slowly approach him.
My sadness and happiness is with you, Jin... You should know, that no matter what, I could never bring myself to hate you... the thought of it scares me...
How can I love someone else when I only love you, and you only?
Who are you to say that I should be with someone else instead to be happy?
I still need you too, Jin.
I still love you...
His knees trembled, and he kneeled down on the floor, clutching his chest.
"Baka..."
Kame muttered.
"JIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kame screamed, and broke down into sobs.
"NANDE, JIN!!!!"
He clenched his fist and pound the ground.
"JIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh... Jin..."
Nakamaru immediately kneeled down and pulling the younger one into a hug.
"Kazuya..."
He ran his hand up and down his back, trying to comfort him.
"Nakamaru!!!!"
Kame cried, sobbing frantically.
"It hurts...."
Ueda turned around to face Junno, and buried his face in his boyfriend's neck.
Junno wraps an arm around his waist and cried with Ueda.
Koki buried his face in his hands, and cried.
Pi went on the other side, and rest his forehead on the wall, crying.
"Oh my goodness, it hurts...."
Kame shook his head, clenching his fist and hitting his chest with it.
"It hurts, it hurts..."
He kept repeating.
Nakamaru nodded, and tightening his hug, and cried on Kame's shoulder.
Rika wipes her own tears, and giving a sad look towards the baby that is sleeping in the basket.
"Jin..."
Kame said softly.
"Jin..."
"Shhh.... Kame..."
Maru cooed.
"He said he loves me, right?"
Kame panted.
"Then... then why... why..."
He couldn't finish his sentence as more tears fall down on his face.
Maru hugged Kame even tighter.
Another soft cry was heard, and their attention was turned to the source of the noise.
Rika took out a little toy rattle and a baby bottle with milk inside, and tried to persuade the baby to calm down.
Kame stopped crying, and stood up, slowly walking back to the couch.
"Shhh.... hush little baby..."
She whispered.
"He's been crying like this for few days now... somehow he knows that his dad..."
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Hayato-kun..."
Rika gently picks him up to her arms, and hugs the baby.
"Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need a diaper change?"
She smiled.
Rika reached a small box, taking out bottles full of milk, and gently offering it to the baby.
The baby cried even louder
Wails of frustration, sadness, all mix up in that cries.
The five of them looks at the baby, and not sure of what to do.
Kame sat down on the couch next to her, and slowly, stretching his arm to read the baby.
"Kame..."
Pi mumbled.
Softly, gently, he wipes the tears on the infant's cheeks with his index finger.
The tears that are coming from his eyes didn't stop falling as he do so, but the baby did stop crying, and looks at him.
Kame then gently took him out of her hand, and bring the bundle closer to him.
He looks at those eyes; tired yet full of warmth, confused yet so familiar.
Somehow, he felt a little lighter in his chest.
He took the baby bottle and offered it to the baby.
Surprisingly, he opened his mouth, and began sucking the milk out from the bottle.
The baby kept looking at him, and his little hand touch Kame's finger that is holding the bottle.
"Ah... he took it."
Rika gasped, but is after all in relieved.
"Hayato..."
Kame whispered by his ear.
"Welcome to our world, Hayato."
Then he cried again, this time, muffling out the sound, not wanting to scare the baby in his arms.
"Kazuya..."
Before Koki and the others realized, they cried along watching the scene in front of them.
"I'll take care of him."
Kame took a deep breath.
"What?"
Both Pi and Koki exclaimed in unison.
"Demo Kame-"
Ueda tried to reason.
"I'll take care of him."
He said, confirming his previous statement.
"Kame..."
Maru called on the younger man.
"I'll raise him as if he's my own."
He turned to Rika.
"So, daijobu."
Rika nodded slowly, and smiled.
"Yokatta..."
Sometime later, Rika bid them goodbye, she will be returning to her hometown.
Kame put the now sleeping baby, Hayato, on his bed carefully, and then he joined his friends at the living room again.
"Are you sure about this?"
Pi frowned.
"I'll raise him."
He looked up.
"I'll raise Hayato."
He added.
Maru was the first to react, he got up and sat next to Kame.
"Kame..."
He began.
"I made up my mind."
"I see."
Maru nodded.
"If that's what you want, then all we do now, is support you, ne?"
"So I guess that makes four of us his ojii-chan ne?"
Koki grinned.
Kame smiled softly and nodded.
"How about me?"
Pi asked.
"Can I be his uncle too?"
The youngest man nodded again, and smiled.
"Arigatou..."
He eyed them, and one by one, giving them a hug.
"Thank you... for staying by my side, during all this..."
He shed yet another tears.
"I know it might be annoying, but please..."
"Like I said..."
Koki hugged Kame again.
"Don't treat us as only your bandmate."
Koki hit Kame in the head gently.
"If that's what we are, I would've quit then without thinking twice."
Kame nodded, and clutched Koki's shirt.
Ueda gestured for Junno and Maru to join the hug.
Pi smiled a little looking at them, and look at the direction of Kame's room, where baby Hayato is sleeping.
Later that night, when they all sleep, Ueda and Junno in the guest room, while Koki, Maru, and Pi took the couches.
Kame looked at the baby sleeping on his bed, on Jin's side of the bed.
He slowly reached the baby's cheek, and touch it very lightly, afraid to wake him up.
At that moment, the baby's eyes slowly opened, and stare at him.
From that gaze, Kame can feel warmth, and easyness.
The look are so familiar to him, just like... Jin's.
Of course... you're his after all ne.
Tears slid down his eyes again.
He picked Hayato up gently, and craddle him.
"Go to sleep."
He whispered.
"Hayato... go to sleep."
He caressed the baby's back.
The baby's hand touched his face, and Kame could swore Hayato was frowning.
He cried even more.
"Gomen na..."
He cried.
"I'm not your dad..."
He sobbed.
"I'm not as strong as he is."
Kame stated.
"But.... for you, I will be."
Kame inhaled deeply.
"For you, I'll do anything, Hayato."
He said.
"You're the only thing I have from him. Your dad, the man I love so much..."
Kame muffled his cries.
"You're still so young, yet he's not here... Your dad is... was a great man. Silly, stupid, selfish, but he was great.... He's the nicest man I know, he's more than a man than I ever will be. He's very strong, Hayato. He was never one to give up."
He buried his face on the baby's tummy.
"I miss your dad..."
He said finally.
Hayato shed a tear, but he didn't let out a cry.
"I'm sorry..."
Kame wiped his tears away.
"I'll stop crying now."
He forced a smile.
Kame then rock Hayato to sleep in his arms, and place him on the bed again.
He took a picture frame of Jin, and stare at it.
"I'll raise him."
He started.
"I'll fill your role in his life... and someday... when he's ready, I'll tell him. Of you, of us, everything."
He traced his index on Jin's face lightly.
"Why, Jin?"
Kame tilted his head to the side.
"Why so soon? We have so much going on together... Jin... please let this be a nightmare of mine..."
He closed his eyes.
"Please... let me wake up..."
He cried.
"Soon... I hate this, Jin. Please, Jin... He needs you too. I need you, Jin... I need you... How am I suppose to stand without you here? How am I suppose to go on not hearing your voice? I know you hate it when I cry, but I'm sorry, these tears won't stop flowing even if I tried to."
He curled up into a ball and cried hysterically.
Eventually, Kame cried himself to sleep, a framed picture of Jin in his embrace.
-ah... anou... hmmm...
yoroshiku onegaishimasu!!!
comments are love and appriciated, minna-san!
and, tell me what you think ne?
*runs off in speed
*oh, here's cupcakes for everyone!!!