(no subject)

[pea_nutty_butty]

in almost every relationship i am in right now- i feel very isolated and aolne. I know i have amazing friends cause i do and they have shown me that in soo many fabulous was, but recently i feel so distant. For some of the time its cause i dont get to see the people i want to see cause our calenders are hectic, sometimes i see them every week at some point, i evern feel this way with the people i see everyday. I just feel VERY out of the loop and its not like i try to stay out of it cause i do try to get into it but forces are just working against it in whatever form it comes.There are things i want to say but im limited cause i cant say them, there are things that are making me sad and i feeel there just isnt the right person to talk to about them or whatever reason. not that i havent been looking for them, i have and its not like im saying... oh no i cant talk to THAT person cause it again, is not like that.i feel that everyone i'd looked to talk to, it doesnt work out in some way. people just dont understand i guess what im going through- and again, a lot of it is because i just cant talk about it all cause there are so many things i cant say...... i've said some words to few people but not the whole story... im still waiting for that time to come. but until then, i feel anxious and to be honest, i dont know what to do to change the way i feel..............

im seperated from the ones i love most-