[Fic] Dream Boy™
Part II
It is already 4am when Jin gets home from work. He sings in an exclusive club where rich people waste money on drinks and dance the night away until they get literally wasted on the floor. It isn't a stable job but the pay plus the tips is really good. He even gets to buy things that he wants with his savings.
When he arrives home, the place is already quiet and everything's in order. Kame must have been bored and has decided to clean up. Jin isn't exactly fond of cleaning and well, Kame's a bit OCD and is actually allergic to dust; how Kame functions still remains a mystery to him. The first day Kame came home with him, Jin felt sorry in an instant when Kame couldn't stop sneezing and didn't get out of his briefcase for an entire day. Jin recalls spending that day cleaning.
After locking his door, Jin sits down on his couch and opens his laptop, not even bothering to turn on the lights on his living room.
Singing in the club allows him to do something he likes. Music is his passion. It has always been ever since he discovered the beauty music can bring to people. He was in highschool when he started creating his own songs. It is a talent Jin is very proud of. It helps him earn money.
"Ye-ye-ye-yellow go-go-gold," Jin sings the lyrics he's saved on his laptop, trying to find a melody for each word. "You better wear, wear, wear, it as your, as your cr-crown."
"That is your music?"
Startled, Jin gasps loudly and almost throws his laptop away. He hears Kame laugh softly at him in the darkness. A bit annoyed, Jin shuffles on his feet to turn on the light and he sees the doll, in skull-printed pyjamas and furry, pink slippers, coming out of the bedroom with a pack of strawberries in his hands.
"The fuck, Kame?!" he snaps, annoyed because Kame caught him unaware and has actually scared the life out of him.
Kame laughs some more at Jin but walks toward his partner. Putting the strawberries on the space next to Jin, Kame climbs up on Jin's lap and settles himself there. "Sorry," he says.
"You're still laughing." Jin takes notice but is in no way pissed at the doll anymore. For some reason, Kame has found a way with him and Jin is aware of that. Maybe Kame is, too. "Apologies have to be sincere, you know?"
"I didn't know that you get scared so easily, okay?" Kame giggles.
"Where'd you get that?" Jin gestures at the strawberries.
"Ueda came to visit me," Kame answers and gives Jin a piece. "Jin, what is it that you want to sing about?" he asks when Jin munches on the fruit.
"Anything. I feel like singing about anything that interests me," Jin says. He has sung songs about women and partying, of friendship and caring but he rarely sings songs about love. "Why do you ask?"
"I want you to sing something slow," Kame tells Jin. "Like a love song."
"I'm not sure about that," Jin says. "Let's try another."
"Don't you like love songs?" Kame asks curiously.
"It's not that I don't like them," Jin says. "It's just that...I've tried singing love songs before but they don't always come out right. They don't sound...right."
"Have you ever been in love, Jin?"
"What do you think?" Jin asks Kame as well. "I'm not a chair or a mic. I'm a living, breathing human being. My heart beats and I feel. Of course I've been in love."
"What is love to you then?" Kame looks at Jin. "Do you think that love is perfect?"
"I think it's something imperfect that people try to perfect in time," Jin answers truthfully. "Perfect love is not something you can find. I think it is something you create with someone who you think you can create a perfect love with."
"You think like that but did you ever realise that music would not sound perfect unless the singer and his audience actually felt and experienced what the music is all about?" Kame questions Jin. "Otousan had told me before that there are different kinds of love. There are several stages and the intensity of emotions varies. Love is like music. Loving different people is like remixing songs - there is a sure change and the intensity of emotions varies with every skip of a beat.
"You have a really nice voice, Jin," Kame tells Jin. "Your voice is powerful and emotional. All you have to do is learn to sing from your heart and I bet every song you'll sing will sound perfect."
"Kame?"
"Hmm?"
"I never thought that dolls can be that insightful." Jin chuckles and Kame soon follows.
"What's that?" Kame asks. "I haven't seen anything like that at otousan's house." He points at Jin's laptop.
Ignoring the question, Jin picks up his MacBook with one hand and carries Kame with the other. He walks them to the bedroom and drops both on his bed.
"Don't touch anything," Jin tells Kame who has an eyebrow raised at him in inquiry. "I'm going to get ready for bed then I'll teach you how to use it when I'm done so stay still for the time being, okay?" Kame nods and Jin ends up patting Kame on the head before walking away.
Their relationship is getting better and Jin kind of likes the calmness between them after that chaotic first month of living together. They both took time to adjust with each other and now, it’s like everything just fell in place.
Jin likes teaching Kame. It makes him feel like he's teaching a child and children have always been close to his heart. In a way, Kame makes him feel smart and useful and Jin likes having that sense of accomplishment whenever Kame learns new things from him. It actually makes him feel good. Taking hold of his toothbrush, Jin sees his reflection in the mirror. He is genuinely smiling and it’s because of Kame.
With Jin away in the bathroom, Kame stares curiously at the laptop. He raises a brow at the object, squint his eyes at it and a bit hesitant, he reaches a finger out to press a key and another and another until Kame finds himself too entertained with the object that he presses anything he could. He clicks on the right-click and plays with the laptop by scrolling down at the options, thinking if whether he should click on play or not.
"Kame!"
Kame accidentally clicks on the delete option in shock. Staring at the screen, his eyes grow wide when the music scores disappear and the screen becomes blank. Jin rushes to check his laptop.
Faking a yawn, Kame jumps off to the floor and heads for his briefcase. "I guess I should sleep now. A doll like me can't stay up too late. Good night." He gets in, curls inside it, and locks up.
"KAMENASHI!!!"
-
Spring comes and droplets of shimmering light burst through the green leaves. The naked earth becomes warm, the grass and trees quiver in the sunny breeze. Spring has returned and it brings with it feelings of hope and joy.
Cleaning Jin's house has become one of Kame's favourite activities to pass time. Staying with Jin made him find out a lot of things about the other, like how Jin acts so cool but gets easily embarrassed when Jin sees him half-naked while he is on the process of changing clothes. Kame remembers laughing at those incidents because they always make Jin red all over. Jin always ends up nagging him and throwing a towel at him before storming out of the bedroom.
Wiping his face clean, Kame is then reminded of the contract when he feels the ring against his skin. When he was still asleep, Kame had dreamt of Jin kissing his ring, mainly because Jin was curious as to why the ring feels ice-cold when nothing else in Kame does. Kame felt really warm the minute Jin's lips touched his ring. It felt like being under the warmth of the sun in the middle of a cold winter. It made Kame want to dream longer, hold on to that feeling of comfort. Now that he's awake, that certain memory of his dream is the only thing he could remember since it's the only way a doll would know that Fate had intended for them to be together. Kizuna.
Kame stares at his pinky ring and thinks that maybe, it's already time to give Jin something in return for his kindness and for putting up with him. Kame did everything on purpose because he needed to see for himself if Jin is worth helping and he is. Jin may seem and act like he's a rude man but Jin, Kame came to realise, really has a pure heart. Jin would have hacked him already if Jin isn't someone with a kind heart.
Otousan has gifted him with the power to attract fortune. However, it is not to Kame's conscious doing that his partner gets whatever he wants. It also has to come with great effort from the other. In Jin's case, he could make things easier for him.
Jin is at work, probably working his way to capture the hearts of his audience. Jin has what it takes to be an artist. Kame knows that it is what Jin really wants and with that in mind, Kame finally presses his lips on his ring.
-
Jin has just finished singing his entire set for the night. He is still on a high and it’s all because of the adrenaline he had while performing on stage.
Something unexpected has also happened to him today. As he was leaving the club where he performs, a foreigner came to him and introduced himself. Jin couldn’t believe his luck. It turns out that the man is a president of the recording company Jin has had his eyes on ever since he became certain that he wanted to be an artist. Of course, Jin had said yes to everything the man had said. They ended the brief meeting by shaking hands and Jin could still feel himself trembling, all in a good way. Finally, the long wait is over.
On his way home, Jin passes by a sweets shop. Through the glass window, Jin could see that there are still a few customers left inside. His eyes fall on the glass shelf that contains all the sweets and pastries and Jin remembers something Kame has requested from him before.
“Ne, Jin,” Kame had called out to him during lunch one day. “I want something that’s white, fluffy, and sweet to eat.”
“Eh? Something white, fluffy, and sweet?”
“Hm!” Kame nods, smiling.
“Vanilla ice cream?” Jin asked.
Kame quickly shook his head and told him that it was something he used to eat while he was still living with Otou-san. Kame said it was unyu, black, and red.
“Unyu? Kuro? Aka?” Jin asks, getting more confused with every detail Kame tells him. “Can you draw it for me?”
“Haiii~!” Kame immediately finishes his food and runs off to the living room where Jin keeps a stack of paper and pens. Kame draws on the floor, using different colours of pen. Satisfied with the result, he runs back to Jin and hands him the paper. “Here. Unyu, kuro, aka.” He grins happily.
“Uhh…this?” Kame nods expectantly before he leaves again and plops himself on the couch to watch the baseball show he’s so fond of. Jin feels a headache coming as he tries to decipher the wobbly circles of black and red inks.
Jin couldn’t recall when did his feet start or stop moving but the next thing he knows is that he’s already inside the shop and pointing at palm-sized round mochis.
“Would you like to buy ichigo daifukus, sir?” the young lady behind the counter asks.
Ichigo daifuku. White, fluffy, and sweet. Unyu, kuro, aka.
Jin smiles happily and nods. “Yes! A whole box, please!”
-
When Kame wakes up, Jin immediately tells him about the good news. Jin tells him that the president of the global recording company Double U-B saw him perform last night and has taken an interest in signing him as one of their artists. In fact, he would meet with them today.
Kame knows that Jin would never let the opportunity pass. Jin has once mentioned to him that he wanted to debut as an artist under that company because of its reputation and connection worldwide.
Jin is a dreamer, Kame knows that. Jin weaves big dreams for himself and his career and Kame doesn't find anything wrong with that. Jin deserves it. He even has the talent for it. Jin is ambitious and Kame is aware that Jin knows how to use it to his advantage.
Jin admits that he feels anxious about the meeting since the minute he woke up. Double U-B's standards are that of top-calibre performers and artists. Kame doesn't say much while he straightens the collar of Jin's black, formal jacket. Jin is so nervous Kame could almost hear the erratic beat of Jin's heart. As expected, Jin tries to relieve his anxiety through talking non-stop and like always, Kame never fails to tell Jin that he wouldn't do great but assures Jin that he'll do fine. Jin tells him to just shut the fuck up if he’ll just insult him. Kame answers back with a roll of his eyes.
Jin is still anxious when he leaves the house but Kame is certain that Jin would come home happy.
When Jin returns that day, Kame is surprised when Jin carries him up and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
"I signed a contract with them, Kame! Double U-B listed me as their artist!" Jin sounds so happy and Kame feels so relieved that he did the right thing.
"I told you that you'd get it, didn't I?" Kame tells Jin, smiling. "There's no room for doubt when you're doing something you really love."
"Thank you, Kame."
"For what?"
"For helping me. You know, they asked me about my passion for music. I told them how I got into it and stuff and the next thing I know is that I'm sharing your analogy between love and music to them. They were so impressed, Kame!" Jin laughs when Kame rolls his eyes.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" Jin exclaims. "Let's write songs together. I bet we can make beautiful music together. You can take care of the mellow ones while I'll be the one in charge of pop music and the likes."
"So we're going to work like a team?"
Jin nods. "I thought you might like it since you love music as well."
"Okay then. It's been a while since I wrote though."
"Don't worry about it. I'm positive we can make this work," Jin says. “Oh, and I bought you your unyu thing. I placed it beside your briefcase.”
“Unyu?” Kame repeats, frowning a little. When realisation comes to him, Kame’s eyes grow wide and bright. He immediately wraps his arms around Jin's neck and tells Jin to put him down before he goes running towards the bedroom. “Unyu!”
Jin feels a whole lot happier seeing that kind of expression on Kame's face.
Since that day, Kame and Jin spent more time together. Jin already quit his job at the club and worked on the songs for his upcoming concert instead. The company plans to debut him when fall arrives.
Spring soon ended. Rainfall and sunshine soon changed to a dry and humid summer and with each passing day, Kame and Jin grew closer until they came to a point where Jin follows wherever Kame goes and Kame goes wherever Jin goes. No one knows when or how it started and no one knows when or how they stopped caring about invading each other's personal space.
In fact, Jin feels more unsettled when he can't see Kame and Kame feels the same when Jin is out of his sight for too long.
Kame's frequent visits to Ueda's house for tea gradually came to a stop. He doesn't know when he started preferring Jin's company over Ueda, Maru, and the dolls. Like Kame, Jin rarely goes out of the house now. He only does so when he needs to do grocery shopping where, in most cases, he brings Kame along. Jin just keeps Kame covered so that people who would see would think that Kame's just a normal boy.
Kame likes being outside. It makes him feel normal. Jin takes him to places he's never been to before. He has played in the park, laid on the grass, and watched the clouds roll above in the sky.
Jin has already forgotten how beautiful the world is. If not for Kame, he would have taken nature for granted.
Kame makes him feel like a child again as they dipped their feet into the cold water of the creek and shrieked together when the cold seeps into them. They soaked themselves wet when rain comes and basks under the sun's warmth when the sun is high up in the sky. The experience may be new discoveries for Kame but what Jin discovered is that Kame made him feel alive again.
They created memories, wonderful memories filled with their laughter and childishness. They created memories of them being together.
Just like that the two fell in a pattern where one needs the other to function.
"Kame, what do you think about this?" Jin clicks on the play button and a bass-heavy music echoes inside the bedroom.
"It sounds nice," Kame tells Jin. He's lying on his stomach with his feet pointing up to the ceiling. He moves his right foot in time with the music's rhythm. "It makes me want to dance. Have you thought about the title?"
"Not yet..."
"What's that line you keep repeating on the chorus and at the end?" Kame asks Jin.
"We make the bass go boom?"
"Bass go boom it is then." Kame decides and goes back to what he's doing.
"Bass go boom sounds nice," Jin agrees and peers at the paper Kame is scribbling on. "What are you writing?"
"I'm writing a song about an unbreakable bond," Kame says, his hand never stopping.
"What inspired you?"
"A lot of things," Kame answers. "As a doll, I realised that I have different kind of bonds with those who know me - to my Otou-san, the bond between us, the friendship that I have with Ueda and Maru. If you think about it, I basically live on the bonds I have with those around me. It plays a special part in my life."
"Kizuna," Jin says in a sudden. "We'll name that song Kizuna. I'll sing it but I'll put your name on the credit."
"You don't have to-"
"It's your song. You wrote it. You made it. It's only right that you claim ownership of it."
"But Jin, it's not like people will ever know about my existence. Putting my name in it will just make them ask questions no one would be able to answer except you, Ueda or Otou-san. No matter what you say, in the end, I'm still a doll and a living doll like me would only cause worry or fear to most people. You don't have to give me credit or anything. Knowing that you're willing to sing a song I wrote is already enough."
"We're a team, Kame, remember?" Jin reminds the doll but Kame still looks unconvinced. "I thought we're in this together? What happened to our team? You and Jin? Our pinky promises?"
"Don't get me wro-" Kame stops when he sees Jin sulking beside him. "Oh, all right. You win."
"Yay!" Jin exclaims and rolls out of the bed. "Tea?"
Kame raises a brow at Jin. "You are taking the initiative to make tea for me?"
Jin just laughs at Kame. "People change, Kame. Anyway, you like your tea with three drops of milk, right? Wait for me here, okay? I'll be back so soon you won't even have time to miss me." Jin winks before he leaves the bedroom.
"That's not even possible, Jin!" Kame shouts after Jin. "Boiling the tea leaves takes a good 30 minutes!"
"I didn't tell you to start counting, Kamenashi! Stop being KY!"
Kame laughs and this time, something inside him feels warm and fuzzy. The ring on his pinky seems to grow warmer, too.
It doesn’t last though. Nothing lasts forever and the happiness brought on by the freshness of spring, the drops of rain and the warmth of summer soon fades.
Summer is almost coming to an end and fall would arrive sooner than Kame and Jin expected. Jin soon got busy doing promotions. There are so many things he has to do as a debuting artist and finding a group of people to back dance for him for his concert is included in the list. A priority, actually.
Soon enough, Jin finds himself surrounded with people he barely knows. There are a lot of foreigners and Japanese dancers who auditioned to be a part of his crew and Jin had to pick out only the best. He has to.
In the end, his crew consists of people with different cultural and ethnic background. Two are females and the rest of them are males. The minute Jin decides rehearsal immediately follows.
-
Kame soon finds himself getting bored. With Jin working again, the house feels empty and cold.
Impossible as it may sound, he misses seeing Jin running around the house. He misses singing with Jin and watching Jin dance. He even misses the way Jin asks if he wants tea and how they look at pictures of the beaches in Okinawa on Jin’s laptop.
With a resigned sigh, Kame plops down on the couch and with a pen in one hand, he starts writing down words on the sheet of paper he found crumpled and forgotten under Jin's bed.
-
Fall arrives and Jin finally gets to debut. It is amazing, Jin has told him.
He never doubted it. Kame has always believed that Jin would make it and he really did. Jin has the talent and he works hard. It’s time that his hard work paid off and Jin is happy. Kame could see that Jin's smiles are genuine and the people around Jin are happy for his success. It isn't easy but it's a start and that's all that matters. He is proud of Jin.
People now recognise Jin. They sing his songs and dance to his music. Kame even sees Jin on TV. He understands that these kinds of things are happening because Jin is famous now. And his crew, they seem to get closer with each other, too, as days go by. Jin likes to tell him about his family.
While Jin rises to fame, it dawns on Kame that he gets to spend less and less time with Jin. Most of the time, Jin is out clubbing with his friends or attending some after party. It happens so often that Kame has already stopped cooking them dinner. When Jin arrives home, he goes to sleep immediately. Jin leaves early for work, too. Too early that when Kame wakes up and gets ready to prepare breakfast for Jin, Jin is no longer around.
Time passes and Kame watches as Jin's house get filled with awards and photographs of Jin, of him and his crew, and several different people Kame doesn't recognise. They are foreign to Kame. They look and feel foreign inside their house and yet, Kame could feel them overlapping his and Jin's happy memories of dust and fights, of sunshine and rain, of grass and sky.
It’s not supposed to be like this. The bond between him and Jin should be stronger than this. They aren’t supposed to fall or drift apart. However, Kame cannot deceive himself. He cannot lie to himself and he cannot run away. Kame knows what is about to come now that his ring is starting to feel cold against his skin.
-
"Jin, can you open the window?"
"It's already night, Kame. You know that I can't stand the cold," Jin says from where he is bundled and curled on his bed.
Kame doesn't say anything but keeps his place on Jin's bed, standing in front of the window. "I just want to watch the moon. It looks so beautiful tonight."
Jin grumbles as he uncurls and gets up. He slides the window open and shivers when the cold evening breeze greets him. "Happy now?" His question comes a bit harsh and he realise his mistake soon.
“I’m sorry, Kame. I’m just too tired.”
"It’s okay," Kame answers. “And yes, I am happy,” he lies nonchalantly as if he doesn’t hurt inside. A doll cannot demand anything. Kame simply doesn’t have the right. Humans grow, change, and mature. They forget.
It’s different for dolls, though.
"Would you mind if I go to sleep now? I have an early schedule tomorrow."
"Thank you, Jin."
Jin opens his mouth only to close it again when he sees how beautiful and serene Kame is while the doll is looking out to the moon. He sees Kame close his eyes when the wind blows and softly caress their faces. The breeze sways Kame's hair gently like it does to the silky blossoms of the cherry trees. The pale moonlight turns reality to fantasy-like as its silvery beams shine down on Kame's fair skin.
Surreal as it may sound, Kame doesn't seem like a doll anymore.
“You’ve changed,” Jin says.
“Maybe,” Kame replies softly. "Jin,"
"Yeah?"
"I want you to always to remember me," Kame says, still looking out the window. "Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?"
"Don't say that, Kame. You sound as if you're saying goodbye.” Jin shakes off the nagging feeling that stirs inside of him. “I know that I've been too caught up with work and I've been neglecting you but let's talk about this tomorrow, okay?"
"Do you know why I sleep in my briefcase, Jin?" Kame asks instead, knowing that them talking about the issue at hand tomorrow would never come.
"No...but you can sleep in my bed if you want. I promise not to crush you." Jin punctuates his sentence with a laugh and curls again on his bed.
"I sleep there so that I can weave dreams. In dreams, dolls like me don't need to make any distinctions between things. Not at all. Boundaries don't exist there. There’s no difference there between human and doll."
Kame then watches the moon with sorrowful eyes but he knows that Jin hardly ever noticed.
"But this is reality. Reality is different. Reality is true." Kame smiles bitterly when the only reply he gets from Jin are Jin's rhythmic shallow breaths.
“Reality…hurts. And this has now become my reality.”
Kame watches the outside world until the moon hides from the sun and when he feels Jin stirring from his sleep, Kame gets down from the bed and locks up inside his briefcase. He doesn't get out for an entire day instead, watched the memories he has with Jin inside his head.
-
When Kame finally finds the courage to remind Jin about the contract, Jin comes running to him, excited and giddy.
"Kame! Can you believe it?! They added more shows for me and on different locations, too! I'm going to be busy this entire season!" The way Jin talks is the way how one would when excited. "The higher-ups were so pleased with me and the success of my shows! And guess what, you wouldn't believe it! I never thought that by singing in that exclusive club for years made me gain fans! They helped make my shows successful!"
"That's good then," Kame replies, trying to keep up with his facade. "So, you'll be all over Japan doing concerts?"
Jin nods and then scratches on his head nervously. “I know this is so insensitive of me but, uh, I’ve made arrangements with Ueda and he’s willing to take you in. I don’t want you to be alone and lonely here. I hope you don’t mind..."
Jin's eyes reflect what he feels and Kame knows better than to break Jin's heart by saying he would mind and reminding Jin of the contract now would be a burden.
"Of course I wouldn't," Kame says. "Ueda takes care of me better than you do, anyway. I like staying at Ueda's a lot! You have nothing to worry about, Jin." Kame ends his sentence with a huge smile but Jin suddenly pouts.
"What's wrong?" Kame asks, worried.
"You don't like me anymore."
"What?"
"You like Ueda more now." Jin sulks. "Kame, how could you?"
Kame rolls his eyes. "I just said that because I know you'd just worry about me if I said I'd rather stay here than at Ueda and Maru's place."
"Really?" Jin asks childishly. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise," Kame says but has two of his fingers crossed behind him. He knows that at this rate, promises would start to be meaningless.
"Oh, I knew you'd understand!" Jin exclaims happily and encloses Kame into a hug. "Thank you, Kame," he whispers.
"What for?"
"For helping me. You know that I can't make all of these happen on my own. I'm glad I have you."
"I'm just happy that you're happy." Kame wants to say but he stops himself from voicing out his thoughts. Instead, he allows himself to sink deeper into Jin's arms. It will be a long while before he'll experience this again.
"Kame?"
"Hmm?"
"I don't know how long the good things will last but I'm really happy with the way things are going right now. After so many years of waiting and getting stuck in between, I finally got what I wanted so thank you, really. If not for you I wouldn't have reached this far."
"Then I'm glad I was able to help you." Kame then slowly pulls away from Jin.
"I'm sorry. I would love to spend more time talking with you and catching up, but I need to go to sleep now, Jin. It's already late."
Kame doesn't even wait for Jin to respond and walks away. His gait is already becoming wobbly and Kame has already limped and fell on the ground too many times. He’s just grateful that Jin is away when that happens.
"Hey, you all right?" Jin asks when he notices a change in Kame's gait and posture.
Kame stops by the bedroom door and tries to walk again. This time, he feels his joints not wanting to cooperate. Kame tries again and it still produced the same result. He knows what it means. His once movable joints are starting to become like that of a robot's - stiff. If this continues...
"Kame, is there anything wrong?" Jin asks again when he sees Kame standing still in front of the bedroom.
Kame tries to shake his head and finds that from his neck up, they too are starting to stiffen. "Nothing." he says instead. "I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes." Without looking back, Kame concentrates on moving again and this time, he manages to pull through and makes it to his briefcase. Curled inside, Kame begins to count the hours when he'll fall in a long, deep sleep again in case he doesn't break into pieces.
-
"Kame, your tea is getting cold. Are you not going to drink it?" Ueda asks the doll.
"You look pale. Are you not feeling well?" Nakamaru presses the dorsal part of his hand to Kame's forehead. They still didn't get a response from the doll. "What should we do, Ueda?"
"I received a letter from a shop in Shinjuku," Ueda tells Nakamaru.
"A letter? What does it say?"
"Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting," Ueda tells Nakamaru. "That's all it says and I don't really get it. I think I'll just have to bring him there."
"Should I inform Jin?"
Ueda nods. "He's Kame's partner so I think he ought to know ab-"
"Don't," Kame interjects. "He'll worry and he'll lose focus on his work so don't. Besides, I'm really fine. Don't worry about me."
"No, you're not," Ueda says.
"I am." Kame insists and holds his cup. "See? There's nothing wrong with-" The cup slips from Kame's hold and shatters into pieces when it hits the floor. It seems his fingers resist to be curled.
Nakamaru swiftly grabs a hold on Kame's hand and panics when he hears a cracking sound coming from Kame.
"I'm sorry, Kame! I didn't mean to-"
"It's all right, Nakamaru," Kame says. "It doesn't hurt." It does.
"Let me see your hand," Ueda says sternly and folds the right sleeve of Kame's black coat up to Kame's forearm. Ueda is horrified when he sees the state Kame is in.
"Kame, you're...breaking."
-
The doll shop's interior has a Victorian theme - luscious, velvet curtains, expensive-looking glass shelves and crystal chandeliers. Everything looks expensive and exquisite; from ceiling to floor. The lush carpet beneath his shoes must have cost hundred thousands of yen if not millions.
"Welcome to Traumtyp!"
Ueda looks up and sees that the one who is in charge of welcoming the customers is a tall guy whose smile is as blinding as the bright sun. Peeking at the man's nameplate, Ueda learns that his name is Taguchi Junnosuke.
Taguchi looks at the doll case the customer is carrying. "Is he yours?" he asks.
"Uh, no. He belongs to a friend," Ueda answers after he shook his head. "I'm in a hurry. I need to find someone who can fix-"
"Then why are you the one accompanying him?" Junno asks again. "Did you steal him?"
"No!" Ueda snaps. "Listen, do you-"
"Where is his partner then?"
Ueda feels like punching the man.
"Junno, why are you interrogating the young master?"
Ueda shifts his eyes to the counter and sees a man with orange-ish hair standing behind the cash register. The man has a beautiful face and his skin is the colour of porcelain. The smile on his lips is sweet and genuine and his caramel eyes have a soft, gentle gaze.
"I apologize for my staff's rudeness. How may I help you and the doll, young sir?"
Ueda clears his throat and fights his embarrassment from showing. The man must have noticed him staring.
"I need to know if you can fix special dolls," Ueda says, walking towards the counter. "Can you?"
"Of course." The man at the cash register smiles. He walks out of the space and held out his arms. Ueda finds no choice but to hand the doll case over to the man.
"How damaged is he?"
"I don't know...His joints have become stiff and when I checked his hand and forearm, there are already visible cracks."
"I see..."
Tou-san opens the doll case and sees the doll asleep. He touches Kame's face before he inspects Kame's limbs.
"O...tou...san," Kame says weakly, staring at the artisan who is doing a check up on him.
"Otousan?" Ueda asks, confused.
"Kazuya is the youngest of my children," Tou-san informs Ueda. "How are you feeling, Kazuya?" he asks the doll with a soft voice, as if soothing a young boy.
Kame flutters his eyes open but they too now refuse to cooperate. "Tired...and sleepy...Ue...da..."
"Kazuya wants to say thank you for looking after him," Tou-san tells Ueda. "I take it that you are the one who received the letter considering that Akanishi-kun isn't here in Japan at this moment, am I right, Ueda Tatsuya-kun?"
"How did you know my name?" Ueda asks. "Who are you?"
"Only a few people know my full name. I prefer it like that so that I won't lose my...muchness," the man says. "Please feel free to call me Tou-san. I'm an artisan and this is my shop. I create the dolls; design their clothes and accessories, and their personality. Junno, that tall man over there, is the one who create the accessories while the clothes are carefully cut and hand-sewn by Koki."
"You're...magical."
"Thank you, Ueda-kun," Tou-san says. "Since we're done with the introductions, I guess it's time I try to fix Kazuya."
"You've grown a lot, Kame-chan..." Koki whispers to the fragile doll lying inside its case. Ueda watches as Koki talks to Kame.
"Yes. Growing up is good for dolls like you," Koki whispers again into the air.
"How...?"
"Koki and I are distant cousins," Tou-san explains to Ueda. "But the only thing he could do is to read the dolls' minds."
Ueda hears Koki laugh a little before he ruffles Kame's hair. "You'll be all right. Of course, I know about your human partner. I'm reading your thoughts, remember? You helped him achieve his dreams and now he's busy living it. It's not your fault." Koki smiles at the doll before completely closing Kame's eyes with his palm.
"Ne, Kame-chan," he whispers to Kame's ear, "since your human partner isn't here, all Tou-san could do is make you sleep. The contract...it's all up to your human partner now."
"The contract states that everything becomes void when the doll is subjected to something that would break him, right?"
"Indeed it does," Tou-san says. "Unfortunately, everything is messed up because it is Kazuya who first fell in love."
-
When Jin arrives back in Tokyo, Ueda is the one who picks him up from the airport. Jin tells him stories about the places he's been to and how tiring but fun all his concerts have been. Ueda listens and responds but his mind is somewhere else. Tired of talking, Jin looks out the window and asks Ueda where Kame is.
"Sleeping," Ueda replies as he manoeuvres the car to exit on the expressway. "Would you like to see him?"
"Of course," Jin says. “I have a lot to make up for. Work got me busy.”
While he was away, he has come to realise that missing Kame is inevitable. It is something that dawned on him while he’s on his bed, trying to sleep. Some of his mornings became night, and some nights became morning and every time Jin wakes up, there is something that he looks forward to having but couldn’t. Being away made him realise that seeing Kame shuffling on his tiny feet around the house - cooking and talking at the same time - has become a natural occurrence to his life. He wonders when it all stopped and when he couldn't find the answer, Jin feels guiltier more than ever.
"Work got you too busy actually," Ueda quips.
"I won't deny that," Jin replies, burying himself deeper in his seat. "How is he?"
"Still dreaming, most probably," Ueda says and somehow, he feels one with Koki.
Ueda could still remember how Koki tried not to show his anger as he relays to them what is going on inside Kame's head. Lying unmoving in his case, Kame's thoughts flowed like the water in the river as Koki recites them. Every word that Koki spoke brought them heavy feelings of sorrow and loneliness. Koki asked why Kame never told anyone about it and Kame answered that he never wanted to cause trouble to his friends.
Jin is the one that dominates Kame's mind. Even if Jin has basically forgotten about Kame, Kame still worried about Jin. Ueda got the feeling that it only angers Koki even more because from there, Kame has forgotten to look after himself as well.
"Where are we going?" Jin asks Ueda, playing with the turtle plushie he especially bought for Kame.
"To Kame."
"But this is Shinjuku," Jin tells Ueda as they pass by the familiar road.
"I know," Ueda replies. "We're going to Kame."
"Welcome to Traumtyp!" Junno chirps his usual greeting. He smiles brightly when he sees Ueda with someone else. "You're here again, Tat-chan! And you brought a friend. Have you told him about our tea time?"
"He is Akanishi Jin, Junno."
"The Jin?" Junno asks Ueda and when Ueda nods, he walks to them and looks at Jin closely. Jin discreetly tries to keep his distance from the man. "Your face..."
"What's wrong with my face?" Jin asks, frowning a bit.
"I get to know people through their faces."
"Really?" Jin quirks an eyebrow. "So, what does mine say?"
"Your lips show sensuous tendency. The mole near your right eye gives you easy-money. Their colour denotes that you have an affectionate nature."
"Meaning?"
"It reveals that you are a person who devotes himself in love and friendship. You care for people in general and you desire to be a part of the world; you have a huge desire to belong," Junno explains. “The lines in your face tell me that you are capable of offering emotional protection but you yourself crave for emotional security."
"Is that so?"
Junno nods. "But the thing is, you cannot have it yet because you still haven’t completely come out of your shell, Akanishi-kun.” Junno walks off to the side to arrange a doll in its place, “and that hinders you from creating a bond of familiarity and comfort in all of your interactions. It prevents you from being who you want to be.”
Jin watches Junno get a doll out of its glass case and brings the doll close for him and Ueda to see. The doll has chiselled jaw and brunette hair and unlike Kame, his skin is tanned and he is muscular, especially on the chest part. Junno very carefully primps its hair.
“You are like this doll,” he tells Jin. “Tou-san gave this doll a soul but he does not want to wake up because this doll is afraid of going out into the uncertain world. He likes stability but the world couldn't provide that. You and this doll...both of you are too wary of forming bonds with people and things because of that fact and it has become an unconscious fear. Unlike him, you pretend that you are the type of person who is outgoing and easy to please when in fact you really are not. You want people to know who you really are but you rarely give them the chance.” Junno puts the doll back in its own glass case and takes him near a window so that the sun could warm the doll's skin a little.
“I don’t know why you like pretending but I’m guessing that you do that because you are aware that you are the type that once attached, you are slow to let go.”
Jin frowns deeply at the man's words but he hears Ueda agreeing to every word the man had said. He ignores both when Junno talks about the doll to Ueda. Looking around the shop, Jin thinks he now knows why and how Kame acquired such expensive taste for things and food. The dolls in this shop look pampered and if Jin hadn't known better, he'd think that these dolls are made to order replicas of children of the nobles and elites.
"It's nice to see you around here, Jin-kun."
Jin and Ueda turn toward the voice and see the doll artisan coming their way.
"Tou-san?" Jin is surprised to see the man who greets him back with a nod and a smile.
"It has been a while, hasn't it, Jin?" Tou-san seats on one of the velvet chairs and crosses his legs. He turns to the tallest man in the room and says, "Junno, can you prepare us some tea? Ueda-kun grew to love our tea here and I am sure that Jin would like to have some as well." He looks at Jin expectantly with his eyes crinkling on the side. “Wouldn't you, Jin?"
"Well, I guess a cup couldn't hurt," Jin says, unable to refuse the man when he sees the wide smile on Tou-san's face. Jin follows Junno head towards a door that has a "Staff Only" sign with his eyes.
"Akanishi doesn't deserve such hospitality."
Jin looks up to see who spoke and frowns when he doesn't recognize the man with blond hair. "It seems that you have a problem with me..." he says, meeting the man's eyes with his own.
"I do," Koki says heatedly.
"I don't think we've met..."
Koki snorts. "Have you seriously no idea what you've done to the doll Tou-san asked you to take care of?"
"The doll? Oh, do you mean Kame?" Jin asks. "What have I done wrong to him?"
"Koki, this is not yet the time for that," Tou-san interrupts and motions for Koki to stop himself from saying anything further. "Let's all have our tea first then we'll talk."
Part III
It is already 4am when Jin gets home from work. He sings in an exclusive club where rich people waste money on drinks and dance the night away until they get literally wasted on the floor. It isn't a stable job but the pay plus the tips is really good. He even gets to buy things that he wants with his savings.
When he arrives home, the place is already quiet and everything's in order. Kame must have been bored and has decided to clean up. Jin isn't exactly fond of cleaning and well, Kame's a bit OCD and is actually allergic to dust; how Kame functions still remains a mystery to him. The first day Kame came home with him, Jin felt sorry in an instant when Kame couldn't stop sneezing and didn't get out of his briefcase for an entire day. Jin recalls spending that day cleaning.
After locking his door, Jin sits down on his couch and opens his laptop, not even bothering to turn on the lights on his living room.
Singing in the club allows him to do something he likes. Music is his passion. It has always been ever since he discovered the beauty music can bring to people. He was in highschool when he started creating his own songs. It is a talent Jin is very proud of. It helps him earn money.
"Ye-ye-ye-yellow go-go-gold," Jin sings the lyrics he's saved on his laptop, trying to find a melody for each word. "You better wear, wear, wear, it as your, as your cr-crown."
"That is your music?"
Startled, Jin gasps loudly and almost throws his laptop away. He hears Kame laugh softly at him in the darkness. A bit annoyed, Jin shuffles on his feet to turn on the light and he sees the doll, in skull-printed pyjamas and furry, pink slippers, coming out of the bedroom with a pack of strawberries in his hands.
"The fuck, Kame?!" he snaps, annoyed because Kame caught him unaware and has actually scared the life out of him.
Kame laughs some more at Jin but walks toward his partner. Putting the strawberries on the space next to Jin, Kame climbs up on Jin's lap and settles himself there. "Sorry," he says.
"You're still laughing." Jin takes notice but is in no way pissed at the doll anymore. For some reason, Kame has found a way with him and Jin is aware of that. Maybe Kame is, too. "Apologies have to be sincere, you know?"
"I didn't know that you get scared so easily, okay?" Kame giggles.
"Where'd you get that?" Jin gestures at the strawberries.
"Ueda came to visit me," Kame answers and gives Jin a piece. "Jin, what is it that you want to sing about?" he asks when Jin munches on the fruit.
"Anything. I feel like singing about anything that interests me," Jin says. He has sung songs about women and partying, of friendship and caring but he rarely sings songs about love. "Why do you ask?"
"I want you to sing something slow," Kame tells Jin. "Like a love song."
"I'm not sure about that," Jin says. "Let's try another."
"Don't you like love songs?" Kame asks curiously.
"It's not that I don't like them," Jin says. "It's just that...I've tried singing love songs before but they don't always come out right. They don't sound...right."
"Have you ever been in love, Jin?"
"What do you think?" Jin asks Kame as well. "I'm not a chair or a mic. I'm a living, breathing human being. My heart beats and I feel. Of course I've been in love."
"What is love to you then?" Kame looks at Jin. "Do you think that love is perfect?"
"I think it's something imperfect that people try to perfect in time," Jin answers truthfully. "Perfect love is not something you can find. I think it is something you create with someone who you think you can create a perfect love with."
"You think like that but did you ever realise that music would not sound perfect unless the singer and his audience actually felt and experienced what the music is all about?" Kame questions Jin. "Otousan had told me before that there are different kinds of love. There are several stages and the intensity of emotions varies. Love is like music. Loving different people is like remixing songs - there is a sure change and the intensity of emotions varies with every skip of a beat.
"You have a really nice voice, Jin," Kame tells Jin. "Your voice is powerful and emotional. All you have to do is learn to sing from your heart and I bet every song you'll sing will sound perfect."
"Kame?"
"Hmm?"
"I never thought that dolls can be that insightful." Jin chuckles and Kame soon follows.
"What's that?" Kame asks. "I haven't seen anything like that at otousan's house." He points at Jin's laptop.
Ignoring the question, Jin picks up his MacBook with one hand and carries Kame with the other. He walks them to the bedroom and drops both on his bed.
"Don't touch anything," Jin tells Kame who has an eyebrow raised at him in inquiry. "I'm going to get ready for bed then I'll teach you how to use it when I'm done so stay still for the time being, okay?" Kame nods and Jin ends up patting Kame on the head before walking away.
Their relationship is getting better and Jin kind of likes the calmness between them after that chaotic first month of living together. They both took time to adjust with each other and now, it’s like everything just fell in place.
Jin likes teaching Kame. It makes him feel like he's teaching a child and children have always been close to his heart. In a way, Kame makes him feel smart and useful and Jin likes having that sense of accomplishment whenever Kame learns new things from him. It actually makes him feel good. Taking hold of his toothbrush, Jin sees his reflection in the mirror. He is genuinely smiling and it’s because of Kame.
With Jin away in the bathroom, Kame stares curiously at the laptop. He raises a brow at the object, squint his eyes at it and a bit hesitant, he reaches a finger out to press a key and another and another until Kame finds himself too entertained with the object that he presses anything he could. He clicks on the right-click and plays with the laptop by scrolling down at the options, thinking if whether he should click on play or not.
"Kame!"
Kame accidentally clicks on the delete option in shock. Staring at the screen, his eyes grow wide when the music scores disappear and the screen becomes blank. Jin rushes to check his laptop.
Faking a yawn, Kame jumps off to the floor and heads for his briefcase. "I guess I should sleep now. A doll like me can't stay up too late. Good night." He gets in, curls inside it, and locks up.
"KAMENASHI!!!"
-
Spring comes and droplets of shimmering light burst through the green leaves. The naked earth becomes warm, the grass and trees quiver in the sunny breeze. Spring has returned and it brings with it feelings of hope and joy.
Cleaning Jin's house has become one of Kame's favourite activities to pass time. Staying with Jin made him find out a lot of things about the other, like how Jin acts so cool but gets easily embarrassed when Jin sees him half-naked while he is on the process of changing clothes. Kame remembers laughing at those incidents because they always make Jin red all over. Jin always ends up nagging him and throwing a towel at him before storming out of the bedroom.
Wiping his face clean, Kame is then reminded of the contract when he feels the ring against his skin. When he was still asleep, Kame had dreamt of Jin kissing his ring, mainly because Jin was curious as to why the ring feels ice-cold when nothing else in Kame does. Kame felt really warm the minute Jin's lips touched his ring. It felt like being under the warmth of the sun in the middle of a cold winter. It made Kame want to dream longer, hold on to that feeling of comfort. Now that he's awake, that certain memory of his dream is the only thing he could remember since it's the only way a doll would know that Fate had intended for them to be together. Kizuna.
Kame stares at his pinky ring and thinks that maybe, it's already time to give Jin something in return for his kindness and for putting up with him. Kame did everything on purpose because he needed to see for himself if Jin is worth helping and he is. Jin may seem and act like he's a rude man but Jin, Kame came to realise, really has a pure heart. Jin would have hacked him already if Jin isn't someone with a kind heart.
Otousan has gifted him with the power to attract fortune. However, it is not to Kame's conscious doing that his partner gets whatever he wants. It also has to come with great effort from the other. In Jin's case, he could make things easier for him.
Jin is at work, probably working his way to capture the hearts of his audience. Jin has what it takes to be an artist. Kame knows that it is what Jin really wants and with that in mind, Kame finally presses his lips on his ring.
-
Jin has just finished singing his entire set for the night. He is still on a high and it’s all because of the adrenaline he had while performing on stage.
Something unexpected has also happened to him today. As he was leaving the club where he performs, a foreigner came to him and introduced himself. Jin couldn’t believe his luck. It turns out that the man is a president of the recording company Jin has had his eyes on ever since he became certain that he wanted to be an artist. Of course, Jin had said yes to everything the man had said. They ended the brief meeting by shaking hands and Jin could still feel himself trembling, all in a good way. Finally, the long wait is over.
On his way home, Jin passes by a sweets shop. Through the glass window, Jin could see that there are still a few customers left inside. His eyes fall on the glass shelf that contains all the sweets and pastries and Jin remembers something Kame has requested from him before.
“Ne, Jin,” Kame had called out to him during lunch one day. “I want something that’s white, fluffy, and sweet to eat.”
“Eh? Something white, fluffy, and sweet?”
“Hm!” Kame nods, smiling.
“Vanilla ice cream?” Jin asked.
Kame quickly shook his head and told him that it was something he used to eat while he was still living with Otou-san. Kame said it was unyu, black, and red.
“Unyu? Kuro? Aka?” Jin asks, getting more confused with every detail Kame tells him. “Can you draw it for me?”
“Haiii~!” Kame immediately finishes his food and runs off to the living room where Jin keeps a stack of paper and pens. Kame draws on the floor, using different colours of pen. Satisfied with the result, he runs back to Jin and hands him the paper. “Here. Unyu, kuro, aka.” He grins happily.
“Uhh…this?” Kame nods expectantly before he leaves again and plops himself on the couch to watch the baseball show he’s so fond of. Jin feels a headache coming as he tries to decipher the wobbly circles of black and red inks.
Jin couldn’t recall when did his feet start or stop moving but the next thing he knows is that he’s already inside the shop and pointing at palm-sized round mochis.
“Would you like to buy ichigo daifukus, sir?” the young lady behind the counter asks.
Ichigo daifuku. White, fluffy, and sweet. Unyu, kuro, aka.
Jin smiles happily and nods. “Yes! A whole box, please!”
-
When Kame wakes up, Jin immediately tells him about the good news. Jin tells him that the president of the global recording company Double U-B saw him perform last night and has taken an interest in signing him as one of their artists. In fact, he would meet with them today.
Kame knows that Jin would never let the opportunity pass. Jin has once mentioned to him that he wanted to debut as an artist under that company because of its reputation and connection worldwide.
Jin is a dreamer, Kame knows that. Jin weaves big dreams for himself and his career and Kame doesn't find anything wrong with that. Jin deserves it. He even has the talent for it. Jin is ambitious and Kame is aware that Jin knows how to use it to his advantage.
Jin admits that he feels anxious about the meeting since the minute he woke up. Double U-B's standards are that of top-calibre performers and artists. Kame doesn't say much while he straightens the collar of Jin's black, formal jacket. Jin is so nervous Kame could almost hear the erratic beat of Jin's heart. As expected, Jin tries to relieve his anxiety through talking non-stop and like always, Kame never fails to tell Jin that he wouldn't do great but assures Jin that he'll do fine. Jin tells him to just shut the fuck up if he’ll just insult him. Kame answers back with a roll of his eyes.
Jin is still anxious when he leaves the house but Kame is certain that Jin would come home happy.
When Jin returns that day, Kame is surprised when Jin carries him up and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
"I signed a contract with them, Kame! Double U-B listed me as their artist!" Jin sounds so happy and Kame feels so relieved that he did the right thing.
"I told you that you'd get it, didn't I?" Kame tells Jin, smiling. "There's no room for doubt when you're doing something you really love."
"Thank you, Kame."
"For what?"
"For helping me. You know, they asked me about my passion for music. I told them how I got into it and stuff and the next thing I know is that I'm sharing your analogy between love and music to them. They were so impressed, Kame!" Jin laughs when Kame rolls his eyes.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" Jin exclaims. "Let's write songs together. I bet we can make beautiful music together. You can take care of the mellow ones while I'll be the one in charge of pop music and the likes."
"So we're going to work like a team?"
Jin nods. "I thought you might like it since you love music as well."
"Okay then. It's been a while since I wrote though."
"Don't worry about it. I'm positive we can make this work," Jin says. “Oh, and I bought you your unyu thing. I placed it beside your briefcase.”
“Unyu?” Kame repeats, frowning a little. When realisation comes to him, Kame’s eyes grow wide and bright. He immediately wraps his arms around Jin's neck and tells Jin to put him down before he goes running towards the bedroom. “Unyu!”
Jin feels a whole lot happier seeing that kind of expression on Kame's face.
Since that day, Kame and Jin spent more time together. Jin already quit his job at the club and worked on the songs for his upcoming concert instead. The company plans to debut him when fall arrives.
Spring soon ended. Rainfall and sunshine soon changed to a dry and humid summer and with each passing day, Kame and Jin grew closer until they came to a point where Jin follows wherever Kame goes and Kame goes wherever Jin goes. No one knows when or how it started and no one knows when or how they stopped caring about invading each other's personal space.
In fact, Jin feels more unsettled when he can't see Kame and Kame feels the same when Jin is out of his sight for too long.
Kame's frequent visits to Ueda's house for tea gradually came to a stop. He doesn't know when he started preferring Jin's company over Ueda, Maru, and the dolls. Like Kame, Jin rarely goes out of the house now. He only does so when he needs to do grocery shopping where, in most cases, he brings Kame along. Jin just keeps Kame covered so that people who would see would think that Kame's just a normal boy.
Kame likes being outside. It makes him feel normal. Jin takes him to places he's never been to before. He has played in the park, laid on the grass, and watched the clouds roll above in the sky.
Jin has already forgotten how beautiful the world is. If not for Kame, he would have taken nature for granted.
Kame makes him feel like a child again as they dipped their feet into the cold water of the creek and shrieked together when the cold seeps into them. They soaked themselves wet when rain comes and basks under the sun's warmth when the sun is high up in the sky. The experience may be new discoveries for Kame but what Jin discovered is that Kame made him feel alive again.
They created memories, wonderful memories filled with their laughter and childishness. They created memories of them being together.
Just like that the two fell in a pattern where one needs the other to function.
"Kame, what do you think about this?" Jin clicks on the play button and a bass-heavy music echoes inside the bedroom.
"It sounds nice," Kame tells Jin. He's lying on his stomach with his feet pointing up to the ceiling. He moves his right foot in time with the music's rhythm. "It makes me want to dance. Have you thought about the title?"
"Not yet..."
"What's that line you keep repeating on the chorus and at the end?" Kame asks Jin.
"We make the bass go boom?"
"Bass go boom it is then." Kame decides and goes back to what he's doing.
"Bass go boom sounds nice," Jin agrees and peers at the paper Kame is scribbling on. "What are you writing?"
"I'm writing a song about an unbreakable bond," Kame says, his hand never stopping.
"What inspired you?"
"A lot of things," Kame answers. "As a doll, I realised that I have different kind of bonds with those who know me - to my Otou-san, the bond between us, the friendship that I have with Ueda and Maru. If you think about it, I basically live on the bonds I have with those around me. It plays a special part in my life."
"Kizuna," Jin says in a sudden. "We'll name that song Kizuna. I'll sing it but I'll put your name on the credit."
"You don't have to-"
"It's your song. You wrote it. You made it. It's only right that you claim ownership of it."
"But Jin, it's not like people will ever know about my existence. Putting my name in it will just make them ask questions no one would be able to answer except you, Ueda or Otou-san. No matter what you say, in the end, I'm still a doll and a living doll like me would only cause worry or fear to most people. You don't have to give me credit or anything. Knowing that you're willing to sing a song I wrote is already enough."
"We're a team, Kame, remember?" Jin reminds the doll but Kame still looks unconvinced. "I thought we're in this together? What happened to our team? You and Jin? Our pinky promises?"
"Don't get me wro-" Kame stops when he sees Jin sulking beside him. "Oh, all right. You win."
"Yay!" Jin exclaims and rolls out of the bed. "Tea?"
Kame raises a brow at Jin. "You are taking the initiative to make tea for me?"
Jin just laughs at Kame. "People change, Kame. Anyway, you like your tea with three drops of milk, right? Wait for me here, okay? I'll be back so soon you won't even have time to miss me." Jin winks before he leaves the bedroom.
"That's not even possible, Jin!" Kame shouts after Jin. "Boiling the tea leaves takes a good 30 minutes!"
"I didn't tell you to start counting, Kamenashi! Stop being KY!"
Kame laughs and this time, something inside him feels warm and fuzzy. The ring on his pinky seems to grow warmer, too.
It doesn’t last though. Nothing lasts forever and the happiness brought on by the freshness of spring, the drops of rain and the warmth of summer soon fades.
Summer is almost coming to an end and fall would arrive sooner than Kame and Jin expected. Jin soon got busy doing promotions. There are so many things he has to do as a debuting artist and finding a group of people to back dance for him for his concert is included in the list. A priority, actually.
Soon enough, Jin finds himself surrounded with people he barely knows. There are a lot of foreigners and Japanese dancers who auditioned to be a part of his crew and Jin had to pick out only the best. He has to.
In the end, his crew consists of people with different cultural and ethnic background. Two are females and the rest of them are males. The minute Jin decides rehearsal immediately follows.
-
Kame soon finds himself getting bored. With Jin working again, the house feels empty and cold.
Impossible as it may sound, he misses seeing Jin running around the house. He misses singing with Jin and watching Jin dance. He even misses the way Jin asks if he wants tea and how they look at pictures of the beaches in Okinawa on Jin’s laptop.
With a resigned sigh, Kame plops down on the couch and with a pen in one hand, he starts writing down words on the sheet of paper he found crumpled and forgotten under Jin's bed.
-
Fall arrives and Jin finally gets to debut. It is amazing, Jin has told him.
He never doubted it. Kame has always believed that Jin would make it and he really did. Jin has the talent and he works hard. It’s time that his hard work paid off and Jin is happy. Kame could see that Jin's smiles are genuine and the people around Jin are happy for his success. It isn't easy but it's a start and that's all that matters. He is proud of Jin.
People now recognise Jin. They sing his songs and dance to his music. Kame even sees Jin on TV. He understands that these kinds of things are happening because Jin is famous now. And his crew, they seem to get closer with each other, too, as days go by. Jin likes to tell him about his family.
While Jin rises to fame, it dawns on Kame that he gets to spend less and less time with Jin. Most of the time, Jin is out clubbing with his friends or attending some after party. It happens so often that Kame has already stopped cooking them dinner. When Jin arrives home, he goes to sleep immediately. Jin leaves early for work, too. Too early that when Kame wakes up and gets ready to prepare breakfast for Jin, Jin is no longer around.
Time passes and Kame watches as Jin's house get filled with awards and photographs of Jin, of him and his crew, and several different people Kame doesn't recognise. They are foreign to Kame. They look and feel foreign inside their house and yet, Kame could feel them overlapping his and Jin's happy memories of dust and fights, of sunshine and rain, of grass and sky.
It’s not supposed to be like this. The bond between him and Jin should be stronger than this. They aren’t supposed to fall or drift apart. However, Kame cannot deceive himself. He cannot lie to himself and he cannot run away. Kame knows what is about to come now that his ring is starting to feel cold against his skin.
-
"Jin, can you open the window?"
"It's already night, Kame. You know that I can't stand the cold," Jin says from where he is bundled and curled on his bed.
Kame doesn't say anything but keeps his place on Jin's bed, standing in front of the window. "I just want to watch the moon. It looks so beautiful tonight."
Jin grumbles as he uncurls and gets up. He slides the window open and shivers when the cold evening breeze greets him. "Happy now?" His question comes a bit harsh and he realise his mistake soon.
“I’m sorry, Kame. I’m just too tired.”
"It’s okay," Kame answers. “And yes, I am happy,” he lies nonchalantly as if he doesn’t hurt inside. A doll cannot demand anything. Kame simply doesn’t have the right. Humans grow, change, and mature. They forget.
It’s different for dolls, though.
"Would you mind if I go to sleep now? I have an early schedule tomorrow."
"Thank you, Jin."
Jin opens his mouth only to close it again when he sees how beautiful and serene Kame is while the doll is looking out to the moon. He sees Kame close his eyes when the wind blows and softly caress their faces. The breeze sways Kame's hair gently like it does to the silky blossoms of the cherry trees. The pale moonlight turns reality to fantasy-like as its silvery beams shine down on Kame's fair skin.
Surreal as it may sound, Kame doesn't seem like a doll anymore.
“You’ve changed,” Jin says.
“Maybe,” Kame replies softly. "Jin,"
"Yeah?"
"I want you to always to remember me," Kame says, still looking out the window. "Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?"
"Don't say that, Kame. You sound as if you're saying goodbye.” Jin shakes off the nagging feeling that stirs inside of him. “I know that I've been too caught up with work and I've been neglecting you but let's talk about this tomorrow, okay?"
"Do you know why I sleep in my briefcase, Jin?" Kame asks instead, knowing that them talking about the issue at hand tomorrow would never come.
"No...but you can sleep in my bed if you want. I promise not to crush you." Jin punctuates his sentence with a laugh and curls again on his bed.
"I sleep there so that I can weave dreams. In dreams, dolls like me don't need to make any distinctions between things. Not at all. Boundaries don't exist there. There’s no difference there between human and doll."
Kame then watches the moon with sorrowful eyes but he knows that Jin hardly ever noticed.
"But this is reality. Reality is different. Reality is true." Kame smiles bitterly when the only reply he gets from Jin are Jin's rhythmic shallow breaths.
“Reality…hurts. And this has now become my reality.”
Kame watches the outside world until the moon hides from the sun and when he feels Jin stirring from his sleep, Kame gets down from the bed and locks up inside his briefcase. He doesn't get out for an entire day instead, watched the memories he has with Jin inside his head.
-
When Kame finally finds the courage to remind Jin about the contract, Jin comes running to him, excited and giddy.
"Kame! Can you believe it?! They added more shows for me and on different locations, too! I'm going to be busy this entire season!" The way Jin talks is the way how one would when excited. "The higher-ups were so pleased with me and the success of my shows! And guess what, you wouldn't believe it! I never thought that by singing in that exclusive club for years made me gain fans! They helped make my shows successful!"
"That's good then," Kame replies, trying to keep up with his facade. "So, you'll be all over Japan doing concerts?"
Jin nods and then scratches on his head nervously. “I know this is so insensitive of me but, uh, I’ve made arrangements with Ueda and he’s willing to take you in. I don’t want you to be alone and lonely here. I hope you don’t mind..."
Jin's eyes reflect what he feels and Kame knows better than to break Jin's heart by saying he would mind and reminding Jin of the contract now would be a burden.
"Of course I wouldn't," Kame says. "Ueda takes care of me better than you do, anyway. I like staying at Ueda's a lot! You have nothing to worry about, Jin." Kame ends his sentence with a huge smile but Jin suddenly pouts.
"What's wrong?" Kame asks, worried.
"You don't like me anymore."
"What?"
"You like Ueda more now." Jin sulks. "Kame, how could you?"
Kame rolls his eyes. "I just said that because I know you'd just worry about me if I said I'd rather stay here than at Ueda and Maru's place."
"Really?" Jin asks childishly. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise," Kame says but has two of his fingers crossed behind him. He knows that at this rate, promises would start to be meaningless.
"Oh, I knew you'd understand!" Jin exclaims happily and encloses Kame into a hug. "Thank you, Kame," he whispers.
"What for?"
"For helping me. You know that I can't make all of these happen on my own. I'm glad I have you."
"I'm just happy that you're happy." Kame wants to say but he stops himself from voicing out his thoughts. Instead, he allows himself to sink deeper into Jin's arms. It will be a long while before he'll experience this again.
"Kame?"
"Hmm?"
"I don't know how long the good things will last but I'm really happy with the way things are going right now. After so many years of waiting and getting stuck in between, I finally got what I wanted so thank you, really. If not for you I wouldn't have reached this far."
"Then I'm glad I was able to help you." Kame then slowly pulls away from Jin.
"I'm sorry. I would love to spend more time talking with you and catching up, but I need to go to sleep now, Jin. It's already late."
Kame doesn't even wait for Jin to respond and walks away. His gait is already becoming wobbly and Kame has already limped and fell on the ground too many times. He’s just grateful that Jin is away when that happens.
"Hey, you all right?" Jin asks when he notices a change in Kame's gait and posture.
Kame stops by the bedroom door and tries to walk again. This time, he feels his joints not wanting to cooperate. Kame tries again and it still produced the same result. He knows what it means. His once movable joints are starting to become like that of a robot's - stiff. If this continues...
"Kame, is there anything wrong?" Jin asks again when he sees Kame standing still in front of the bedroom.
Kame tries to shake his head and finds that from his neck up, they too are starting to stiffen. "Nothing." he says instead. "I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes." Without looking back, Kame concentrates on moving again and this time, he manages to pull through and makes it to his briefcase. Curled inside, Kame begins to count the hours when he'll fall in a long, deep sleep again in case he doesn't break into pieces.
-
"Kame, your tea is getting cold. Are you not going to drink it?" Ueda asks the doll.
"You look pale. Are you not feeling well?" Nakamaru presses the dorsal part of his hand to Kame's forehead. They still didn't get a response from the doll. "What should we do, Ueda?"
"I received a letter from a shop in Shinjuku," Ueda tells Nakamaru.
"A letter? What does it say?"
"Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting," Ueda tells Nakamaru. "That's all it says and I don't really get it. I think I'll just have to bring him there."
"Should I inform Jin?"
Ueda nods. "He's Kame's partner so I think he ought to know ab-"
"Don't," Kame interjects. "He'll worry and he'll lose focus on his work so don't. Besides, I'm really fine. Don't worry about me."
"No, you're not," Ueda says.
"I am." Kame insists and holds his cup. "See? There's nothing wrong with-" The cup slips from Kame's hold and shatters into pieces when it hits the floor. It seems his fingers resist to be curled.
Nakamaru swiftly grabs a hold on Kame's hand and panics when he hears a cracking sound coming from Kame.
"I'm sorry, Kame! I didn't mean to-"
"It's all right, Nakamaru," Kame says. "It doesn't hurt." It does.
"Let me see your hand," Ueda says sternly and folds the right sleeve of Kame's black coat up to Kame's forearm. Ueda is horrified when he sees the state Kame is in.
"Kame, you're...breaking."
-
The doll shop's interior has a Victorian theme - luscious, velvet curtains, expensive-looking glass shelves and crystal chandeliers. Everything looks expensive and exquisite; from ceiling to floor. The lush carpet beneath his shoes must have cost hundred thousands of yen if not millions.
"Welcome to Traumtyp!"
Ueda looks up and sees that the one who is in charge of welcoming the customers is a tall guy whose smile is as blinding as the bright sun. Peeking at the man's nameplate, Ueda learns that his name is Taguchi Junnosuke.
Taguchi looks at the doll case the customer is carrying. "Is he yours?" he asks.
"Uh, no. He belongs to a friend," Ueda answers after he shook his head. "I'm in a hurry. I need to find someone who can fix-"
"Then why are you the one accompanying him?" Junno asks again. "Did you steal him?"
"No!" Ueda snaps. "Listen, do you-"
"Where is his partner then?"
Ueda feels like punching the man.
"Junno, why are you interrogating the young master?"
Ueda shifts his eyes to the counter and sees a man with orange-ish hair standing behind the cash register. The man has a beautiful face and his skin is the colour of porcelain. The smile on his lips is sweet and genuine and his caramel eyes have a soft, gentle gaze.
"I apologize for my staff's rudeness. How may I help you and the doll, young sir?"
Ueda clears his throat and fights his embarrassment from showing. The man must have noticed him staring.
"I need to know if you can fix special dolls," Ueda says, walking towards the counter. "Can you?"
"Of course." The man at the cash register smiles. He walks out of the space and held out his arms. Ueda finds no choice but to hand the doll case over to the man.
"How damaged is he?"
"I don't know...His joints have become stiff and when I checked his hand and forearm, there are already visible cracks."
"I see..."
Tou-san opens the doll case and sees the doll asleep. He touches Kame's face before he inspects Kame's limbs.
"O...tou...san," Kame says weakly, staring at the artisan who is doing a check up on him.
"Otousan?" Ueda asks, confused.
"Kazuya is the youngest of my children," Tou-san informs Ueda. "How are you feeling, Kazuya?" he asks the doll with a soft voice, as if soothing a young boy.
Kame flutters his eyes open but they too now refuse to cooperate. "Tired...and sleepy...Ue...da..."
"Kazuya wants to say thank you for looking after him," Tou-san tells Ueda. "I take it that you are the one who received the letter considering that Akanishi-kun isn't here in Japan at this moment, am I right, Ueda Tatsuya-kun?"
"How did you know my name?" Ueda asks. "Who are you?"
"Only a few people know my full name. I prefer it like that so that I won't lose my...muchness," the man says. "Please feel free to call me Tou-san. I'm an artisan and this is my shop. I create the dolls; design their clothes and accessories, and their personality. Junno, that tall man over there, is the one who create the accessories while the clothes are carefully cut and hand-sewn by Koki."
"You're...magical."
"Thank you, Ueda-kun," Tou-san says. "Since we're done with the introductions, I guess it's time I try to fix Kazuya."
"You've grown a lot, Kame-chan..." Koki whispers to the fragile doll lying inside its case. Ueda watches as Koki talks to Kame.
"Yes. Growing up is good for dolls like you," Koki whispers again into the air.
"How...?"
"Koki and I are distant cousins," Tou-san explains to Ueda. "But the only thing he could do is to read the dolls' minds."
Ueda hears Koki laugh a little before he ruffles Kame's hair. "You'll be all right. Of course, I know about your human partner. I'm reading your thoughts, remember? You helped him achieve his dreams and now he's busy living it. It's not your fault." Koki smiles at the doll before completely closing Kame's eyes with his palm.
"Ne, Kame-chan," he whispers to Kame's ear, "since your human partner isn't here, all Tou-san could do is make you sleep. The contract...it's all up to your human partner now."
"The contract states that everything becomes void when the doll is subjected to something that would break him, right?"
"Indeed it does," Tou-san says. "Unfortunately, everything is messed up because it is Kazuya who first fell in love."
-
When Jin arrives back in Tokyo, Ueda is the one who picks him up from the airport. Jin tells him stories about the places he's been to and how tiring but fun all his concerts have been. Ueda listens and responds but his mind is somewhere else. Tired of talking, Jin looks out the window and asks Ueda where Kame is.
"Sleeping," Ueda replies as he manoeuvres the car to exit on the expressway. "Would you like to see him?"
"Of course," Jin says. “I have a lot to make up for. Work got me busy.”
While he was away, he has come to realise that missing Kame is inevitable. It is something that dawned on him while he’s on his bed, trying to sleep. Some of his mornings became night, and some nights became morning and every time Jin wakes up, there is something that he looks forward to having but couldn’t. Being away made him realise that seeing Kame shuffling on his tiny feet around the house - cooking and talking at the same time - has become a natural occurrence to his life. He wonders when it all stopped and when he couldn't find the answer, Jin feels guiltier more than ever.
"Work got you too busy actually," Ueda quips.
"I won't deny that," Jin replies, burying himself deeper in his seat. "How is he?"
"Still dreaming, most probably," Ueda says and somehow, he feels one with Koki.
Ueda could still remember how Koki tried not to show his anger as he relays to them what is going on inside Kame's head. Lying unmoving in his case, Kame's thoughts flowed like the water in the river as Koki recites them. Every word that Koki spoke brought them heavy feelings of sorrow and loneliness. Koki asked why Kame never told anyone about it and Kame answered that he never wanted to cause trouble to his friends.
Jin is the one that dominates Kame's mind. Even if Jin has basically forgotten about Kame, Kame still worried about Jin. Ueda got the feeling that it only angers Koki even more because from there, Kame has forgotten to look after himself as well.
"Where are we going?" Jin asks Ueda, playing with the turtle plushie he especially bought for Kame.
"To Kame."
"But this is Shinjuku," Jin tells Ueda as they pass by the familiar road.
"I know," Ueda replies. "We're going to Kame."
"Welcome to Traumtyp!" Junno chirps his usual greeting. He smiles brightly when he sees Ueda with someone else. "You're here again, Tat-chan! And you brought a friend. Have you told him about our tea time?"
"He is Akanishi Jin, Junno."
"The Jin?" Junno asks Ueda and when Ueda nods, he walks to them and looks at Jin closely. Jin discreetly tries to keep his distance from the man. "Your face..."
"What's wrong with my face?" Jin asks, frowning a bit.
"I get to know people through their faces."
"Really?" Jin quirks an eyebrow. "So, what does mine say?"
"Your lips show sensuous tendency. The mole near your right eye gives you easy-money. Their colour denotes that you have an affectionate nature."
"Meaning?"
"It reveals that you are a person who devotes himself in love and friendship. You care for people in general and you desire to be a part of the world; you have a huge desire to belong," Junno explains. “The lines in your face tell me that you are capable of offering emotional protection but you yourself crave for emotional security."
"Is that so?"
Junno nods. "But the thing is, you cannot have it yet because you still haven’t completely come out of your shell, Akanishi-kun.” Junno walks off to the side to arrange a doll in its place, “and that hinders you from creating a bond of familiarity and comfort in all of your interactions. It prevents you from being who you want to be.”
Jin watches Junno get a doll out of its glass case and brings the doll close for him and Ueda to see. The doll has chiselled jaw and brunette hair and unlike Kame, his skin is tanned and he is muscular, especially on the chest part. Junno very carefully primps its hair.
“You are like this doll,” he tells Jin. “Tou-san gave this doll a soul but he does not want to wake up because this doll is afraid of going out into the uncertain world. He likes stability but the world couldn't provide that. You and this doll...both of you are too wary of forming bonds with people and things because of that fact and it has become an unconscious fear. Unlike him, you pretend that you are the type of person who is outgoing and easy to please when in fact you really are not. You want people to know who you really are but you rarely give them the chance.” Junno puts the doll back in its own glass case and takes him near a window so that the sun could warm the doll's skin a little.
“I don’t know why you like pretending but I’m guessing that you do that because you are aware that you are the type that once attached, you are slow to let go.”
Jin frowns deeply at the man's words but he hears Ueda agreeing to every word the man had said. He ignores both when Junno talks about the doll to Ueda. Looking around the shop, Jin thinks he now knows why and how Kame acquired such expensive taste for things and food. The dolls in this shop look pampered and if Jin hadn't known better, he'd think that these dolls are made to order replicas of children of the nobles and elites.
"It's nice to see you around here, Jin-kun."
Jin and Ueda turn toward the voice and see the doll artisan coming their way.
"Tou-san?" Jin is surprised to see the man who greets him back with a nod and a smile.
"It has been a while, hasn't it, Jin?" Tou-san seats on one of the velvet chairs and crosses his legs. He turns to the tallest man in the room and says, "Junno, can you prepare us some tea? Ueda-kun grew to love our tea here and I am sure that Jin would like to have some as well." He looks at Jin expectantly with his eyes crinkling on the side. “Wouldn't you, Jin?"
"Well, I guess a cup couldn't hurt," Jin says, unable to refuse the man when he sees the wide smile on Tou-san's face. Jin follows Junno head towards a door that has a "Staff Only" sign with his eyes.
"Akanishi doesn't deserve such hospitality."
Jin looks up to see who spoke and frowns when he doesn't recognize the man with blond hair. "It seems that you have a problem with me..." he says, meeting the man's eyes with his own.
"I do," Koki says heatedly.
"I don't think we've met..."
Koki snorts. "Have you seriously no idea what you've done to the doll Tou-san asked you to take care of?"
"The doll? Oh, do you mean Kame?" Jin asks. "What have I done wrong to him?"
"Koki, this is not yet the time for that," Tou-san interrupts and motions for Koki to stop himself from saying anything further. "Let's all have our tea first then we'll talk."
Part III