It's All About The Impulsion, People
What follows is an actual transcript of a conversation I had with K yesterday.
Me: So, riddle me this, Batman…I’m having my lesson on Sam last Sunday at that clinic, and I’ve got a good working trot coming round the left rein past A. I remember to ask early, and we turn down the three quarter line perfectly - I mean PERFECTLY - he’s bent like an absolute STONER, alright?
K: Uh-huh. So far so good.
Me: So I give him a bit of left leg and he yields but his back end swings out, so I have to open with the left rein and juuuuust feeeeel his mouth with the right, right?
K: S’what I’d do.
Me: [validated] Exactly. Anyway, he straightens up some but something just isn’t right and I can FEEL it. So by the time we hit the outside track at M he’s hyperflexed all over the shop and I don’t have any time to do anything about it before I change aids and ask for the canter.
K: [seeing my dilemma] Hmmmmm.
Me: So he takes off on the wrong leg, and the canter’s all disunited. DISUNITED. Can you believe it? I pull him back and re-ask, but by now he’s lost all his flexion through the poll and then I can’t get anything but a left rein lead out of him for the rest of the FREAKING lesson. WHATTUP?
K: Hmmmmm [again]. Honestly? Sounds like you’re lacking impulsion.
Today I’m giving you the best advice you’re ever gonna get in life, especially if you happen to find yourself standing awkwardly in a clutch of dressage riders having your opinion sought. I hope that never happens to you, because frankly…well…. *snores loudly*
It’s ALWAYS about IMPULSION. It’s NEVER about anything else.
Every problem that’s ever existed in the history of time could have been avoided with MORE or LESS IMPULSION. You will never EVER see anyone standing around on the periphery of a catastrophe saying I don’t get it - the impulsion of the involved parties was impeccable. The causal factors here were perfectly impulsed.
Get the magic fingers happening on your impulsion dial, baby, and you will be GOLD.
Try it. Next time someone asks your opinion on a delicate matter, or rattles off an insensible slew of equestrian jargon. Tap your chin and suggest the following:
I’m thinking this has to do with your impulsion. Try MORE/LESS impulsion. See how that works out for ya.
It's the patented Pdragon Approach, and I guarantee results.
J
A little cloud skimming today, dredged up from my days as a pauper and a dr seuss groupie. My two favorite books of all time are still The Lorax and Oh, The Places You’ll Go, so not much has changed. I’m still a dr seuss groupie. I'm just a little better funded these days.
Enjoy. Oh, and HAPPY NO MORE JUNE DAY!! I'm declaring 1st July a new public holiday. Break open the green tea and the stiff club sodas! IT'S OVER! I survived my first sober June. Yay for me. Hope you all made it similarly intact *hugs to all*.
The Shortest Lived Euphoria in the World
Yay for payday!
Payday today!
Today is for pay!
My means to a way!
To pay my way!
A way to pay!
Yay for payday!
On the fourteenth of every month
the crowds gather to watch my
bank account break the
landspeed record
From flush to
zero in 5
seconds
flat.
(Fuck.)