5.01
So. Show’s back. My sometimes-roomie Flips has grown accustomed and fond of my fangirl ways this year, so we had a bit of a premiere party and hunkered down together for 5.01. There was coca-cola and little Belgian chocolates and pie and possibly some squealing I am never going to admit to outside of this house. Yes. I shamefully confess I enjoyed our girly interlude to the power of eleventy. But it wasn’t all that conducive to a concentrated fangirl viewing. I had planned to rewatch and share thoughts last night, but halfway home from work I was set upon by the zigzaggy blind spots and promises of migraine to come. The last seventeen hours are a bit of a medicated blur, but the upshot is I think I won. I definitely didn’t lose. Except I still feel vaguely nauseous and a little weird like there’s a second attack waiting. Defilade or enfilade or both. Maybe from above. Somewhere. My experience of the migraine is that they are kind of like a guided missile. Once they’ve deployed, you’re usually kinda screwed. If you’re quick, you can send up a ground-to-air response to try to intercept but the chances are you’re still gonna cop some debris of the flaming white-hot skull-cracking-open kind. *keeps the loopy-inducing anti-migraine pills close at hand* I haven’t had a full-blown migraine in a very long time, and quite frankly…*does not want* They’re about the only things besides Australian episodic drama that can make me want to DIE.
Anyway. I’ma try and watch Show again right now. Jot some stuff down, while I have this window where I can type and watch the TV without vomiting. This is mostly for my own benefit and future reference, but I’ll leave comments open for anyone who isn’t sick to death of reviews. Bear in mind I’ve been working, and then severely medicated and faceplanted in my couch for most of the time since Show aired, so I haven’t read any episode response posts or reviews. If I’m repetitive and boring and unoriginal, then apologies.
No, wait. If I’m repetitive and boring and unoriginal, y’all can suck it like a boiled lolly. YOU IS THE ONE WHO GOT CLICKY, FANGIRL, NOT ME.
1. Squigglies. AC/DC squigglies. God. I really am that easy.
2. *pause button* Sometimes when Dean runs, he kind of looks like he has a carrot up his ass. What’s up with that, Ackles?
3. EXCUSE YOU BRIGHT LIGHT YOU IS OBSTRUCTING MY VIEW OF THE DEAN.
4. Awesome transition but wtf, plane?
5. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. MY whump-whore self adores the new title card.
6. DEAN STOP CALLING CASTIEL CAS YOU KNOW I HATE THAT
7. Heeee! Sneaky quiet looky Winchesters is sneaky and quiet and looky. How I’ve missed you, boys.
8. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. “Well, my head hurts.” Oh Jared. That may be the finest piece of acting you have ever done in the history of EVA. I love that like burning. Perfectly delivered.
9. Molar in the hair. Heeeee! This is why I love you so, Show.
10. *busts out laughing* “Cram it with walnuts, ugly,” just became my new default conversation interrupter. And by the time this airs over here in Australia, people will be like “Hey! Dragons! That show has totally taken your line!” And I can be all outraged about it. *glee*
11. Okay, not that I am EVER going to be complaining about Dean standing anywhere with blood DRIPPING from his PERSON, but wha-? BZUH? When did you draw the blood spell thingy on the door, honey? WTF? Do I has to pull out the 4.22 and see if you had an opportunity back then? Because…you know what? *handwaves* I don’t care. That was hot. Also *points to handwave* Oh HAI THAR, Kripke Handwave. I has missed you less than I missed Dean, but more than I missed Sera Gamble. Make of that what you will, Handwave. *narrows eyes*
12. Also also did you not hear me? STOP CALLING CASTIEL CAS. *swats Dean up side of head*
13. *squeal* LOOK! Dean is playing with his GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. *glee*
14. Sam has no withdrawal symptoms. Huh. OH HAI THAR AGAIN KRIPKE HANDWAVE. But yeah, speaking as an ex-substance abuser I don’t really wanna watch four episodes of that boring unpleasantness. Cranky, constipated, paranoid Sam? *does not want* Handwave approved. *stamps*
15. “So why do you keep bringing it up?” Oh, Dean. Oh, ACKLES. Look more hard- done-by fed-up trapped five year old, why don’t you? God, your face is good at its job sometimes. Maaaaaaaaaaaan.
16. This dude was the big casting spoiler? The dude who is About To Be Lucifer? I don’t even know who that guy is. *is clueless*
17. Why does everyone in this show always have their blankies pulled right up under their chins so their heads look tiny and silly? I totally approve, mind you. I’m just interested to know who’s responsible for that shit.
18. I really, really like all the stuff with About To Be Lucifer Dude in his house. Nice and creepy and old-style haunty. It has that horrible The Shining/Amityville Horror feel about it. I like.
19. Okay. I’m just gonna come out and say this. Show, you did a nice self-referential epi last season and it was all sorts of awesome and one of my favorite epis of Show ever, but...what you’re doing here with the fangirl is not only completely unnecessary to the plot, but also downright adversarial and kind of petty. And Kripke, if that’s the sort of relationship you want to have with your hardcore fans, then that’s fine, and whatever, and I’ll apply my Kripke Handwave accordingly. But before I do, just soez you noez, it makes you look like an utter jackass.
20. Moving on.
21. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
22. HEY! Fuck you, Dean. Cate Blanchett could kick your ass one-handed without spilling a drop of her cup of tea and we all know it. Cate is fucking awesome. Shut. Yo’. Mouth.
23. Bobby would never say that. He is totally possessed of the Evil. And why is Sam going to an old church nearby to read his books? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are his books by S.E. Hinton? I bet they are. READ RUMBLEFISH FIRST, SAM, IT’S AWESOME.
24. Dudes. If you pause after demon!Bobby uppercuts the absolute fuck out of Dean *glee* and he’s on the floor, you totally get not only EPIC TOOTHFLASH (which y’all know I love liek woah) but also TUMMY FLASH because, lo and behold, his shirt has ridden up. *\o/*
25. MEGSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMFGBBQELEVENTYYAY!!!11!!!! I am going to the Special Hell for how hot I find Meg forcing herself on Dean. I mean, I thought I got that shit out of my system with Blind Spot, but I have not. At all. MOAR PLZ NOW.
26. Nice to see Show continuing in its tradition of hiring effective female actors in two minute bit parts. APPLY THIS LOGIC TO THE CASTING OF YOUR PERMANENT FEMALE CHARACTERS PLZ KTATHNXBAI.
27. I have thoughts about Bobby and Dean and JDub and Dean and Sam and Devil’s Trap here and it’s to do with the fact that Bobby clearly has the nutsack to blink it off and take his own life whereas JDub had to beg his son to do the dirty. But I need to think more on that. And don’t fucking start with me, you John!girls. *points* I know he didn’t have any immediate weapon conveniently available to off himself. I’m just thinking out loud. Calm down.
28. This brawl kicks ass btw. *\o/*
29. Okay, I feel sorry for the About To Be Lucifer Dude and how he’s clearly suffering and lost his kid an’ all, but honestly? I’m already imagining Dean and him going at it with fists and knives and breaking chairs on each other and there’s like, Dean-shaped holes in walls and HOMFG MY PANTS ARE GONE NOW. *goes to fetch them*
30. Have I ever told you guys about this thing I have for Dean hauling open the doors of storage containers? No? I wouldn’t even mention it except I feel like I got gypped here, is all. *grumbles*
31. Dean is the Michaelsword. Dean. Is the Michaelsword. Is anyone else needing a dip in the Arctic Ocean imagining Dean all ridiculously souped up on angel juice and laying the serious brand of smack down on Satan? IS IT WARM IN HERE OR WHAT? Oh my flaming underpants. Bring it. *dies of the flail*
32. Queen of the Nuance spies nuance: I adore how Sam goes from CRIKEY MY LEG IS BUSTED to controlled breathing in about two seconds flat. Because fuck these boys’ lives, you know? They really are just that used to this shit.
33. QotN spies more stuff: It kills me dead the way Dean just switches off when Zachariah lifts his face. *is dead*
34. HOMG, CASTIEL LEARNED TO PUNCH LIKE A DUDE!!!!!! *glee* Heeeee! Misha must be so pleased. He totally didn’t look like a complete sissy in that fight.
35. “Now put these boys back together and go. I won’t ask twice.” WORD, CASTIEL. From your lips to Gamble’s ears. *coughs* Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say that out loud?
36. *busts out laughing* Heeeee! Check out Dean’s face and how it’s all adorable and “I don’t know how I feel about you carving shit into my ribs.”
37. I’ma say it again, because I really mean it. I love these creepy bits with the About To Be Lucifer Dude. And “Sure, naturally. Um, could you do me a favor there, Satan, and remind me to quit drinking before I go to bed?” Classic delivery. I could really like this guy. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna like this guy. :D
38. I’m having a completely overpersonal reaction to Dean and Sam’s conversation at the end here. Because Kripke coulda just about lifted that entire verbatim spiel of Dean’s from the last conversation I had with my mother. And this is likely Dragons talking more than the Dean fangirl talking, but fuck. You. Sam. I get what it’s like to be the dude who fucked everything up and you feel so bad you can’t stand it and you just want to know what it is you have to do to make it better. Trust me, I get that in all the ways you can possibly get it. I’ve been that person more times than I care to remember. But fuck you. Because it’s not Dean’s job to make you feel better about your screw up. He was there for you and he was honest with you and when you needed him to open up he opened up and when you needed him to keep that shit to himself he kept that shit to himself. So you don’t get to ask him what you can do to make it all right.
YOU GET TO FEEL BAD, SAM. That is what you get. And Dean gets time. He gets whatever time he needs, and you get to shut the fuck up and leave him the hell alone about it. /end rant that is possibly unrelated to Show.
In closing: BOYZ!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!! *glee* Is it Thursday yet?
No spoilers in comments, please. Not even the preview for next week. I just decided I’m steering clear of those, too. WHAT? It’s my mind. I can change it all I wants.