Shock! Horror! JD Succumbs to a Brotherly Moment.
I know in my heart I should be writing the scene with Div and Zeek on the cliff. But I’m not. Partly because it’s one of those scenes that when you’re outlining you go Holy CRAP you better not fuck that scene up. ‘Cause if ya do? Whole thing’s up the chute. Like a decomposing possum in a flue.
And partly because I’m having Text Wars 2007 with my brother, and he’s DEFUSING MY WRITERLY ANGST WITH HIS BIG BROTHERNESS.
It started yesterday with this:
Me: Did you call ma for her birthday, Fuckknuckle? Also? Have you checked out http://chucknorrisfacts.com/ I has wet my pants.
JD: Wetpatch. ß [So I wet my pants. Once. Last week. Like, twenty-six years ago]
Me: STOP CALLING ME WETPATCH.
JD: Yes I did but no answer, roo clubber ß [So I killed a kangaroo. Once. SHUT IT]
Me: Could easily be upgraded to bro basher, jackass. If ya wanna toss that shit up and see how the chips fall. Is all I’m sayin’.
And then just now?:
JD: Anyhow, I beat you to it, my younger and somewhat lesser sibling. So back in your box.
Me: Your retort turnover is unacceptable. This discussion is closed. Please select another topic.
JD: I refer to subsection 3 paragraph 2. A suitable amount of time to ascertain who won must be allowed. I called first.
Me: You is east coast. You has extra hours.
JD: No fly. I win.
Me: You have nasal hair. PROMINENT nasal hair.
*secretly hearts JD like a mofo, will never ever tell him*
Anyway. Div. Zeek. Cliff.
Right.