Mel, You Dastardly Birthday-Haver, You.
It's March? Seriously? What the everloving fuck, calendar? Please to be explaining yourself.
The Dragons has been off gallavanting with J this weekend, and the grand occasion of aussiemel1's birthday has rudely come and gone while my attention was diverted. Mel, honey? There's only one suitable punishment for this sort of asshattery.
Aussiemel's Birthday Picspam, Inflicted for Crimes Against the Calendar
Dean: I still don't believe it.
Sam: Dude, believe it. It says it right there in plain English. Australian cling wrap totally tears downwards. The serrated thingy's on the bottom of the box.
Dean: What are they -- idiots? They afraid they're gonna slip and punch 'emselves in the face or somethin'?
Sam: I dunno. But aussiemel1's pretty pissed about it. I was thinking we could fix it for her birthday.
Ruby: Hey guys, what're you doin'?
Dean: Well, we were researching the cultural variations in food preservation techniques. But now you're here, I'm refraining from smacking you in your stupid face.
Ruby: Cute. It's almost like you think I give a shit. Or I couldn't crush your tiny man-brain with my demon mind. Besides, Sam called me.
Dean: Huh. Well, there you go. I wondered where all those 1800-DEMON-SKANK charges came from. Tell you what: I'll pay you $5.95 per minute to keep your clothes on and your mouth off my brother.
Sam: Are you done?
Dean: If by "done", you mean "plotting her bloody despatch to the fiery pit of Hades", then yes.
Ruby: *rolls eyes* Anyway, what's so damn important you had to drag me away from my Sam shrine?
Sam: It's aussiemel1's birthday. It says here in the text if we summon this Infomercial Demon we can reverse the serration on every box of cling wrap in the country.
Ruby: And this is my problem how?
Dean: Listen, you fiendish bitch. Try and have a fuckin' heart for two goddamn seconds. aussiemel1's a good pal of Dragons'.
Ruby: Then get Dragons to raise your dumb demon.
Sam: Come on, Ruby. Dragons is spending the weekend with J. The girl has a life for precisely two days every thirty-three years. You really want to interrupt her right now?
Dean: *raises hand* Uhm, actually? I'd pay money to see you try. She'd kick both your scrawny asses halfway into next week. I'd be surprised if she even spilled her coffee.
Ruby: Fucking. Overcaffeinated. Fangirls. *sigh* Fine, I'll do it.
Ruby: *grumble grumble grumble*
Ruby: So, there's some cling wrap and it's upside down or whatever and we want it fixed.
Infomercial Demon: Congratulations. You're the millionth caller. You get a Staysharp demon-cleaving ginsu, absolutely free of charge.
Ruby: Great. Whatever you say. Can you fix the clingwrap or not?
Infomercial Demon: Let's talk fixed lid storage alternatives. Tell me, when was the last time you updated your Tupperware?
Ruby: Sweet merciful Satan. Your evil truly knows no bounds. Hand me that ginsu.
*facepalm* Happy belated birthday, aussiemel1. I'm truly sorry. My only excuse for the quality of this post is the late hour here, or possibly heatstroke. Maybe both.
I hope you had a great day. *smish*