I'll be whatever I wanna do
Sometimes, you just gotta have weird days. Today was one of them.
I spent most of it making peanut butter and peanut butter cookies. But in that magical time waiting for the dough to set in the fridge... oh boy!
My brother came upstairs to the kitchen and we putzed around in the fridge, where we found my vanilla and caramel coffee creamer. Then we commented on how windy it's been all day. Dunno what happened in between, but suddenly we were deciding to drink a pot of coffee and then go fly kites. The kites were all broken, so we crudely duct taped them together, bahaha. Anyway, we start trying to lift these suckers in the front yard and my dad pulls open the window and is like, "The fuck are you idiots doing?! There are trees and powerlines EVERYWHERE!" So he shooed us away, and we derped and giggled down the street and ended up attempting to fly these suckers at a 5 way intersection near my house. It went HILARIOUSLY badly. The dog ran away from home and followed us, so 2 grown ass adults and a dog were sitting in the middle of this intersection with kites when a westbound car starts honking at us.
I quirked a brow and called out, "We ain't crossing!" So this dude in the car pulls up next to us and goes, "So, y'all flying some kites?" My brother responds, "No, we're watching a porno." I elbowed him and explained that it was indeed a poor attempt at kite flying. So this dude then begins explaining how this one time he flew this "kite" that was made of ceramic and mylar. Yeah, I couldn't make that up if I tried. He said it flew so brightly and beautifully, catching the sun's beams like a gazing orb for the garden, except it was some fucking kite he says. We were just staring at him blankly at this point, but he continued. This random man then says the cops came to his house and told him to take it down because it was messing with satellites. I was like, "Well, as you can see... these are just regular old kites. Nothing... like... uh, that..." So he looks at our kites and goes, "Are those Chinese kites?" So my brother says "Yep they actually are." Then Mr. Fucking Strange Ass Kite Man goes on and on about how much he loves Chinese kites, but how they're shit for flying so he just decorated his house with them. This crazy fucking kite man said he flew a metal kite that attracted the police to his home because it was "disrupting satellites" and then decorated his fucking house with motherfucking kites from China. So we did that blank stare again for a few, and my dog took a piss right then and there. So I says to him, I says, "Welp... you take care now!" And I gave him a big thumbs up and hid behind the kite. Then he drove about 6 feet, looked back at us and gave us a big thumbs up, drove another 6 feet and another thumbs up, then left. It was then that my brother said, "Let's go now and never look back." And we did.
That is why I don't go anywhere or do anything. I fucking... out of nowhere fly a fucking kite in the street with my crazy dick ass brother, and we attract an insane kite man. Everywhere I go, I do something absurd and yet SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE has to go and cross the line between being a peculiar person and a straight up strange bird. So.
If I ever feel like doing that again, I think I'll do it at night when I know no one is looking.
I spent most of it making peanut butter and peanut butter cookies. But in that magical time waiting for the dough to set in the fridge... oh boy!
My brother came upstairs to the kitchen and we putzed around in the fridge, where we found my vanilla and caramel coffee creamer. Then we commented on how windy it's been all day. Dunno what happened in between, but suddenly we were deciding to drink a pot of coffee and then go fly kites. The kites were all broken, so we crudely duct taped them together, bahaha. Anyway, we start trying to lift these suckers in the front yard and my dad pulls open the window and is like, "The fuck are you idiots doing?! There are trees and powerlines EVERYWHERE!" So he shooed us away, and we derped and giggled down the street and ended up attempting to fly these suckers at a 5 way intersection near my house. It went HILARIOUSLY badly. The dog ran away from home and followed us, so 2 grown ass adults and a dog were sitting in the middle of this intersection with kites when a westbound car starts honking at us.
I quirked a brow and called out, "We ain't crossing!" So this dude in the car pulls up next to us and goes, "So, y'all flying some kites?" My brother responds, "No, we're watching a porno." I elbowed him and explained that it was indeed a poor attempt at kite flying. So this dude then begins explaining how this one time he flew this "kite" that was made of ceramic and mylar. Yeah, I couldn't make that up if I tried. He said it flew so brightly and beautifully, catching the sun's beams like a gazing orb for the garden, except it was some fucking kite he says. We were just staring at him blankly at this point, but he continued. This random man then says the cops came to his house and told him to take it down because it was messing with satellites. I was like, "Well, as you can see... these are just regular old kites. Nothing... like... uh, that..." So he looks at our kites and goes, "Are those Chinese kites?" So my brother says "Yep they actually are." Then Mr. Fucking Strange Ass Kite Man goes on and on about how much he loves Chinese kites, but how they're shit for flying so he just decorated his house with them. This crazy fucking kite man said he flew a metal kite that attracted the police to his home because it was "disrupting satellites" and then decorated his fucking house with motherfucking kites from China. So we did that blank stare again for a few, and my dog took a piss right then and there. So I says to him, I says, "Welp... you take care now!" And I gave him a big thumbs up and hid behind the kite. Then he drove about 6 feet, looked back at us and gave us a big thumbs up, drove another 6 feet and another thumbs up, then left. It was then that my brother said, "Let's go now and never look back." And we did.
That is why I don't go anywhere or do anything. I fucking... out of nowhere fly a fucking kite in the street with my crazy dick ass brother, and we attract an insane kite man. Everywhere I go, I do something absurd and yet SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE has to go and cross the line between being a peculiar person and a straight up strange bird. So.
If I ever feel like doing that again, I think I'll do it at night when I know no one is looking.