I Am Your Brother (Dave+Rose)
Title: I Am Your Brother
Characters: Dave, Rose, Dave/Rose if you want, alluded symbolic Dave/Bro
Fandom: MSPA
Rating: R for swearing and sexual imagery
Warnings: phallic symbolism, sleepytime violence, amateur dream analysis, kind of gross sibling banter
Summary: Pre-SBURB, Dave and Rose chat about dreams and make an unsettling discovery. The dream vault gets closed.
Originally Posted for Homestuck Shipping Olympics Bonus Round 2b
FST by starry_arte
To Be Free/Please - Ani DiFranco
Asshole - Beck
Brother - Cake Bake Betty
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:40 --
TG: hey just for laughs
TG: how bout you plunge your grubby mind analyzing appendages into my delicate psyche
TG: dig around in there and pull up some juicy brain ejaculate
TT: Are you propositioning me? Are you asking me to use tentacles to couple with your head?
TG: wow gross no
TG: i was gonna tell you about this fucking ridiculous dream i had
TT: Oh, well certainly. I’m always glad to help my friends while simultaneously honing my psychoanalysis skills.
TG: sure if thats what you wanna call it
TG: actually the first thing sounds more accurate
TG: not sure i wanna be tentacle skullfucked
TT: I promise to treat your mind with the utmost chivalry whilst I engage in gaining carnal knowledge of it.
TG: just stop
TG: shut up and listen to me spill my dreamseed
TT: I await with baited breath.
TG: so check it
TG: im fighting with my bro on the roof
TG: only its like in like
TG: wireframe mode or something
TG: like we gotta watch our step and walk on the wires lest we fall through a million stories of shitty apartments or something
TG: and at one point i swing and i miss and my sword goes right into the ac unit like some shitty video game boss
TG: and i try to pull it out but the thing snaps in half
TG: and while im puzzling over what the fuck im gonna do with a broken sword
TG: bro runs me through with his
TG: right through my chest
TG: needless to say when i woke up i went and found him and punched him in the face
TG: or tried to at least
TT: So, that was the end of the dream? He penetrated you and then you woke up?
TG: oh no dont you even go there girlfriend
TG: this is just two dudes fighting nothing gay about it
TG: but no
TG: like he ran me through but the blood was spilling out of his own chest
TG: then i woke up
TT: I see. So the one who did the penetrating is actually the one who released liquid.
TG: yeah blood
TG: not jizz
TT: Both are givers of life, wouldn’t you agree?
TG: no
TT: Well, anyway, ignoring that bit of blatant symbolism.
TT: You said you broke your sword in half?
TG: like a fucking kit kat bar only flipways
TT: Hm. Leaving you with a rather useless weapon to face your brother’s full length.
TG: god why did i think telling you anything was a good idea
TT: I think you’re picking up more from my words than I mean to “lay down.”
TT: All I mean to imply is that perhaps you are harboring feelings of inadequacy next to your brother.
TT: And well, I shouldn’t have to mention how phallic the sword is as a symbol.
TG: so in your interpretation of this
TG: me and bro are on the roof swingin our spamblades around till mine breaks and then i get sternumboned
TG: i mean its not like we swordfight every fucking day and maybe i was just dreaming about that
TT: Hmm. Swordfight indeed.
TG: god dammit
TG: this shit isnt fair
TT: Are you suggesting that psychoanalysis can be “fair.”
TG: maybe if i got some equal dreampoking or whatever
TT: You want me to reveal one of my dreams to you?
TG: yeah
TG: then we can see just how many dongs or lady parts or whatever are hiding within the folds of your precocious brain just waiting to spring out
TT: I don’t remember my dreams though.
TT: Perhaps that’s why I take such a healthy interest in the dreams of others.
TG: what seriously
TT: I am so serious. There is a boardroom full of men in suits dryly discussing the issue as we speak.
TG: well im breaking up that lameass business meeting
TG: flippin tables over papers go flying all over the place
TG: you gotta remember somethin
TT: Well.
TT: There was one I had several months ago.
TG: aw yes here we go
TT: However I was in a delirium at the time. I had the flu. It was a literal fever dream.
TG: so lay it on me
TT: I’m not sure about this. I feel it’s quite personal.
TG: more personal than me and bro supposedly rubbin all up on each other
TT: Well, alright. I suppose its only fair. Try not to do any sort of olympic dive off of the handle.
TG: i am handcuffed to this handle like a vegan to a tree
TT: I dreamt I was you.
TG: not too crazy
TG: everyone dreams of one day being me
TT: I’d appreciate if you extended the same courtesy of silence that I do you when you tell me one of your dreams.
TT: Anyway. I dreamt I was you. And I was on some sort of epic quest. Much like you make your life out to be.
TG: dude it is so epic i have to climb hills of smuppets every day just to get to the boobytrapped fridge
TG: whoops yeah ill shut up
TT: Thank you. As I was saying, you are correct, I was having to do all sorts of climbing, though I wasn’t really sure where I was going or why I was doing it, I just knew that it had to be done.
TT: Eventually I, or rather you, got tired of all the questing bullshit and I/you became a star.
TG: what like a celebrity or pornstar or something
TT: No, like a literal star in space. As in glowing, sparkling, millions of miles away and all that. And that was it. I woke up to a pressing need to vomit. Luckily my mother was at my bedside keeping passive-aggressive watch over me with a bucket. She shows great dedication to antagonizing me.
TG: huh
TT: Are you busy forming theories as to my mental quirks based on this vision?
TG: no fuck if i know what it means
TG: its just
TG: i had the same dream
TT: A dream in which you were Dave Strider?
TG: no i was you rose lalonde
TG: on a quest or some shit
TG: it was different i guess
TG: you slash i were all darked out and causing all kinds of ridiculous destruction
TG: but it ended the same
TG: in space and all that shit
TG: it was a few months ago too
TT: Is this some sort of prank?
TT: Or I suppose that is too dorky a term, better suited for John.
TT: Am I being “punk’d”?
TG: what no
TT: Excuse me, I am searching my room for signs of Ashton Kutcher, or his smuppet equivalent.
TG: kutchers off chilling with cougars hes got nothing to do with this
TG: i am serious this is real talk i had an eerily similar dream and im actually breaking these cuffs despite the impossibility of this feat and flying off the handle a little bit
TG: i mean yeah its pretty far fetched but its true
TG: you dont fucking believe me do you
TT: What I don’t believe is your apparent dedication to such a poor attempt at trolling me. I have given up my search for the Kutch and am now on the lookout for the irony of the situation.
TG: the irony is that the one time i think a dream could use some actual god damn analysis you refuse to even take it seriously
TT: Why would I attempt to analyze a fake dream meant to make me look foolish?
TG: oh my gog
TG: just
TG: forget it you just lost privilege to the dave strider dream vault
TG: and unlike the disney vault this shit never fucking opens again
TT: Oh alas! I may resort to jumping out the window in an attempt to cope with the lack of your eloquent retellings of such heavy-handed homodreams.
TG: what the fuck ever
TG: later rose
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:22 --
TT: No come back! I can’t live without the erotic imagery plaguing your denial-ridden subconscious.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:23 --
Characters: Dave, Rose, Dave/Rose if you want, alluded symbolic Dave/Bro
Fandom: MSPA
Rating: R for swearing and sexual imagery
Warnings: phallic symbolism, sleepytime violence, amateur dream analysis, kind of gross sibling banter
Summary: Pre-SBURB, Dave and Rose chat about dreams and make an unsettling discovery. The dream vault gets closed.
Originally Posted for Homestuck Shipping Olympics Bonus Round 2b
FST by starry_arte
To Be Free/Please - Ani DiFranco
Asshole - Beck
Brother - Cake Bake Betty
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:40 --
TG: hey just for laughs
TG: how bout you plunge your grubby mind analyzing appendages into my delicate psyche
TG: dig around in there and pull up some juicy brain ejaculate
TT: Are you propositioning me? Are you asking me to use tentacles to couple with your head?
TG: wow gross no
TG: i was gonna tell you about this fucking ridiculous dream i had
TT: Oh, well certainly. I’m always glad to help my friends while simultaneously honing my psychoanalysis skills.
TG: sure if thats what you wanna call it
TG: actually the first thing sounds more accurate
TG: not sure i wanna be tentacle skullfucked
TT: I promise to treat your mind with the utmost chivalry whilst I engage in gaining carnal knowledge of it.
TG: just stop
TG: shut up and listen to me spill my dreamseed
TT: I await with baited breath.
TG: so check it
TG: im fighting with my bro on the roof
TG: only its like in like
TG: wireframe mode or something
TG: like we gotta watch our step and walk on the wires lest we fall through a million stories of shitty apartments or something
TG: and at one point i swing and i miss and my sword goes right into the ac unit like some shitty video game boss
TG: and i try to pull it out but the thing snaps in half
TG: and while im puzzling over what the fuck im gonna do with a broken sword
TG: bro runs me through with his
TG: right through my chest
TG: needless to say when i woke up i went and found him and punched him in the face
TG: or tried to at least
TT: So, that was the end of the dream? He penetrated you and then you woke up?
TG: oh no dont you even go there girlfriend
TG: this is just two dudes fighting nothing gay about it
TG: but no
TG: like he ran me through but the blood was spilling out of his own chest
TG: then i woke up
TT: I see. So the one who did the penetrating is actually the one who released liquid.
TG: yeah blood
TG: not jizz
TT: Both are givers of life, wouldn’t you agree?
TG: no
TT: Well, anyway, ignoring that bit of blatant symbolism.
TT: You said you broke your sword in half?
TG: like a fucking kit kat bar only flipways
TT: Hm. Leaving you with a rather useless weapon to face your brother’s full length.
TG: god why did i think telling you anything was a good idea
TT: I think you’re picking up more from my words than I mean to “lay down.”
TT: All I mean to imply is that perhaps you are harboring feelings of inadequacy next to your brother.
TT: And well, I shouldn’t have to mention how phallic the sword is as a symbol.
TG: so in your interpretation of this
TG: me and bro are on the roof swingin our spamblades around till mine breaks and then i get sternumboned
TG: i mean its not like we swordfight every fucking day and maybe i was just dreaming about that
TT: Hmm. Swordfight indeed.
TG: god dammit
TG: this shit isnt fair
TT: Are you suggesting that psychoanalysis can be “fair.”
TG: maybe if i got some equal dreampoking or whatever
TT: You want me to reveal one of my dreams to you?
TG: yeah
TG: then we can see just how many dongs or lady parts or whatever are hiding within the folds of your precocious brain just waiting to spring out
TT: I don’t remember my dreams though.
TT: Perhaps that’s why I take such a healthy interest in the dreams of others.
TG: what seriously
TT: I am so serious. There is a boardroom full of men in suits dryly discussing the issue as we speak.
TG: well im breaking up that lameass business meeting
TG: flippin tables over papers go flying all over the place
TG: you gotta remember somethin
TT: Well.
TT: There was one I had several months ago.
TG: aw yes here we go
TT: However I was in a delirium at the time. I had the flu. It was a literal fever dream.
TG: so lay it on me
TT: I’m not sure about this. I feel it’s quite personal.
TG: more personal than me and bro supposedly rubbin all up on each other
TT: Well, alright. I suppose its only fair. Try not to do any sort of olympic dive off of the handle.
TG: i am handcuffed to this handle like a vegan to a tree
TT: I dreamt I was you.
TG: not too crazy
TG: everyone dreams of one day being me
TT: I’d appreciate if you extended the same courtesy of silence that I do you when you tell me one of your dreams.
TT: Anyway. I dreamt I was you. And I was on some sort of epic quest. Much like you make your life out to be.
TG: dude it is so epic i have to climb hills of smuppets every day just to get to the boobytrapped fridge
TG: whoops yeah ill shut up
TT: Thank you. As I was saying, you are correct, I was having to do all sorts of climbing, though I wasn’t really sure where I was going or why I was doing it, I just knew that it had to be done.
TT: Eventually I, or rather you, got tired of all the questing bullshit and I/you became a star.
TG: what like a celebrity or pornstar or something
TT: No, like a literal star in space. As in glowing, sparkling, millions of miles away and all that. And that was it. I woke up to a pressing need to vomit. Luckily my mother was at my bedside keeping passive-aggressive watch over me with a bucket. She shows great dedication to antagonizing me.
TG: huh
TT: Are you busy forming theories as to my mental quirks based on this vision?
TG: no fuck if i know what it means
TG: its just
TG: i had the same dream
TT: A dream in which you were Dave Strider?
TG: no i was you rose lalonde
TG: on a quest or some shit
TG: it was different i guess
TG: you slash i were all darked out and causing all kinds of ridiculous destruction
TG: but it ended the same
TG: in space and all that shit
TG: it was a few months ago too
TT: Is this some sort of prank?
TT: Or I suppose that is too dorky a term, better suited for John.
TT: Am I being “punk’d”?
TG: what no
TT: Excuse me, I am searching my room for signs of Ashton Kutcher, or his smuppet equivalent.
TG: kutchers off chilling with cougars hes got nothing to do with this
TG: i am serious this is real talk i had an eerily similar dream and im actually breaking these cuffs despite the impossibility of this feat and flying off the handle a little bit
TG: i mean yeah its pretty far fetched but its true
TG: you dont fucking believe me do you
TT: What I don’t believe is your apparent dedication to such a poor attempt at trolling me. I have given up my search for the Kutch and am now on the lookout for the irony of the situation.
TG: the irony is that the one time i think a dream could use some actual god damn analysis you refuse to even take it seriously
TT: Why would I attempt to analyze a fake dream meant to make me look foolish?
TG: oh my gog
TG: just
TG: forget it you just lost privilege to the dave strider dream vault
TG: and unlike the disney vault this shit never fucking opens again
TT: Oh alas! I may resort to jumping out the window in an attempt to cope with the lack of your eloquent retellings of such heavy-handed homodreams.
TG: what the fuck ever
TG: later rose
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:22 --
TT: No come back! I can’t live without the erotic imagery plaguing your denial-ridden subconscious.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] blocked tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:23 --