Where I be...
Work
I haven't written here in quite a while. At least, not substantially. karnythia's recent posts have somewhat inspired me, however, and I thought I might update my "internet people" such that I have them as to what I've been up to. And that is, for the last four months or so, work.
I remember when I had time a year or so ago to indulge myself in fandom. Then I quit my job. Irreconcilable differences with my boss and general boredom were my reasons. I thought about it for a year or so before I did it. First time I ever quit without a concrete plan. As always, I was fortunate enough to land on my feet. I got a job telecommuting and doing what I can tolerate which is building web apps for start ups. It was stressful. I realized that as much as a hermit as I am, I need human interaction. So I got a part time job (it was supposed to be a weekend thing) at a certain popular electronics company with a fruity logo. That job tried to eat my life. For a year, I had a full time job for which I did mostly nothing (and got paid quite well for it), that stressed me out. A part time job that paid, mostly nothing for which I did mostly anything anyone asked me, which also started to stress me out, and various contract jobs which looked good on my resume.
Travel
I did my general spring/summer travel. I went to Puerto Rico and Nassau, Bahamas. And I came to a decision. The part-time, as much as I loved (and still do) all the friends I made there, had to go. So when I got back from PR. I quit. Two weeks later, I got laid off. This was right after the economic boom. Still, I wasn't worried. I'm no stranger, nor am I afraid of hard work. At the very least, I was confident I could make ends meet. I was more concerned with reaching my hierarchy of needs. I wanted to be ENGAGED in my job. So I waited.
Now I'm a technical director at another start up and the stress levels are back up to where they were when I had three jobs. I get basically the same salary. And I still have a couple contracts here and there.
In the meantime, I no longer have a life, and as it's winter I was mostly okay with that, in principle. I restricted my life to going to work, going to the gym, and taking care of home (the roommate and the dog). Good pay (no benefits), but I'm single. Things could be much worse. I realize that.
Fandom
It's no secret that I had no time to fully participate in fandom the way I was pre-October 07. I felt like I had an obligation to the various groups I was involved in, but I was clear on my priorities. I had personal goals and fandom was something that fell by the wayside. I still read, avidly. It was my only refuge in lieu of being able to go out with my friends, but I couldn't write like I used to. I picked up a new fandom (NCIS). Read A LOT, both in and out of fandom. Read all the communities I lurk in. Struck up IRL convos about pertinent topics. I really didn't have a whole lot to complain about, but I missed writing.
Since the demise of my love of CSI, I've taken a huge step back from fandom. It is purely a release for me. I want to participate, but it frightens me. Plus, nowadays I really don't have time.
Life
These days my life centers around a 1.25 hr commute (one way). Making sure my dog is mentally stable (he currently refuses to go outside, except on the porch), working out at the gym, and my new love, going to the shooting range. I can completly focus on something other than that which stresses me out at the range. My stance, my grip, my breathing, my focus on the front sight of my gun, and the target become my entire world. It's great!
Thinking in tactical terms amuses me, but I'm so totally non-violent and non-confrontation (okay the non-con is a bit of a stretch as my mouth tends to get ahead of me, at least in the realm of the professional). Bottom line, I'd rather piss you off than shoot you, but going to the range and picking up another skill (sharp shooting) is effective for me right now. Plus the irony of a black woman getting a Concealed Handgun permit amidst all these redneck 2nd amendment nuts amuses me. Particularly since they're all afraid Obama's going to take away their rights. VA is an amusing place to live.
Philosophy
So that's where I am. I still think A LOT. I just don't communicate it as much. I neither have the time to convince folk it's important, nor the energy these days to debate. I miss it, to be sure, but my energy is better spent elsewhere.
I just keep thinking about how far I've come since I've been up here, and how very far I have to go.
I haven't written here in quite a while. At least, not substantially. karnythia's recent posts have somewhat inspired me, however, and I thought I might update my "internet people" such that I have them as to what I've been up to. And that is, for the last four months or so, work.
I remember when I had time a year or so ago to indulge myself in fandom. Then I quit my job. Irreconcilable differences with my boss and general boredom were my reasons. I thought about it for a year or so before I did it. First time I ever quit without a concrete plan. As always, I was fortunate enough to land on my feet. I got a job telecommuting and doing what I can tolerate which is building web apps for start ups. It was stressful. I realized that as much as a hermit as I am, I need human interaction. So I got a part time job (it was supposed to be a weekend thing) at a certain popular electronics company with a fruity logo. That job tried to eat my life. For a year, I had a full time job for which I did mostly nothing (and got paid quite well for it), that stressed me out. A part time job that paid, mostly nothing for which I did mostly anything anyone asked me, which also started to stress me out, and various contract jobs which looked good on my resume.
Travel
I did my general spring/summer travel. I went to Puerto Rico and Nassau, Bahamas. And I came to a decision. The part-time, as much as I loved (and still do) all the friends I made there, had to go. So when I got back from PR. I quit. Two weeks later, I got laid off. This was right after the economic boom. Still, I wasn't worried. I'm no stranger, nor am I afraid of hard work. At the very least, I was confident I could make ends meet. I was more concerned with reaching my hierarchy of needs. I wanted to be ENGAGED in my job. So I waited.
Now I'm a technical director at another start up and the stress levels are back up to where they were when I had three jobs. I get basically the same salary. And I still have a couple contracts here and there.
In the meantime, I no longer have a life, and as it's winter I was mostly okay with that, in principle. I restricted my life to going to work, going to the gym, and taking care of home (the roommate and the dog). Good pay (no benefits), but I'm single. Things could be much worse. I realize that.
Fandom
It's no secret that I had no time to fully participate in fandom the way I was pre-October 07. I felt like I had an obligation to the various groups I was involved in, but I was clear on my priorities. I had personal goals and fandom was something that fell by the wayside. I still read, avidly. It was my only refuge in lieu of being able to go out with my friends, but I couldn't write like I used to. I picked up a new fandom (NCIS). Read A LOT, both in and out of fandom. Read all the communities I lurk in. Struck up IRL convos about pertinent topics. I really didn't have a whole lot to complain about, but I missed writing.
Since the demise of my love of CSI, I've taken a huge step back from fandom. It is purely a release for me. I want to participate, but it frightens me. Plus, nowadays I really don't have time.
Life
These days my life centers around a 1.25 hr commute (one way). Making sure my dog is mentally stable (he currently refuses to go outside, except on the porch), working out at the gym, and my new love, going to the shooting range. I can completly focus on something other than that which stresses me out at the range. My stance, my grip, my breathing, my focus on the front sight of my gun, and the target become my entire world. It's great!
Thinking in tactical terms amuses me, but I'm so totally non-violent and non-confrontation (okay the non-con is a bit of a stretch as my mouth tends to get ahead of me, at least in the realm of the professional). Bottom line, I'd rather piss you off than shoot you, but going to the range and picking up another skill (sharp shooting) is effective for me right now. Plus the irony of a black woman getting a Concealed Handgun permit amidst all these redneck 2nd amendment nuts amuses me. Particularly since they're all afraid Obama's going to take away their rights. VA is an amusing place to live.
Philosophy
So that's where I am. I still think A LOT. I just don't communicate it as much. I neither have the time to convince folk it's important, nor the energy these days to debate. I miss it, to be sure, but my energy is better spent elsewhere.
I just keep thinking about how far I've come since I've been up here, and how very far I have to go.