(no subject)
I'm sitting here crying at midnight and I can't stop.
And I know most of you are thinking "Oh the bitchy sap with no valentine"...but it's not even that.
It's the fact that after so many years he could do this to me and not care, either.
I received a charm from my mother for Valentine's Day. I was happy when she gave it to me this morning because I *knew* that she really cared about me enough to buy me such a wonderful gift. I really thought the day was going to get better...
So I get to school and I'm happy in first block because it's V-day and everyone is handing out little valentines from Wal-mart that was left over from their little brother/sister. Katie even made me a sweet card out of construction paper.
Second block goes fine even though Kami never showed up and we were stuck watching THE YELLOW SUBMARINE.
Then the shit hits the fan.
Garrick walked in about 15 minutes until the bell rang for third block. He was smiling and just shining as I said "Happy Valentine's Day". I said "I made you something but my hands are dirty so I'll give it to you at lunch."
He says, "Well I didn't bring yours. You can't have it till later."
I WAS PISSED.
It's not the fact that it was a small gift or anything, because I don't know what it is (if, in fact, there IS something he bought me). It's the fact that it's Valentine's Day- the day of giving through love. I didn't give a fuck about material things, but he acted as if it was no big deal for him to walk in with NOTHING.
Note: NOTHING.
I was really mad the rest of the day but I tried to get over it. I don't know what was up with me, but I was very upset that I received NOTHING from my on-again/off-again boyfriend. Then he goes into this whole spell of how I shouldn't be mad at him.
Note to guys: Never go without getting your woman a Valentine's gift. It's a day that she looks forward to all year long (with the exception of her birthday and Christmas).
Valentine's Day was TODAY- not Saturday or Sunday.
So after school I head home to eat something quickly before I go to work. When I leave and am almost at work, Garrick calls my cell phone still complaining about how I was mad that I received no gift.
I eventually told him to fuck off and hung up the phone and walked into work, five minutes late.
I ended up begging Kevin to let me off work early, which he did. And I was in such a good mood that I called Garrick and was going to ask him if he was wanting to see me.
HE WASN'T HOME.
Jim told me he was "out with a friend" and "wouldn't be back until four o'clock".
Now I'm not even pissed. I'm beyond pissed- to HURT. I feel as if my heart isn't even there and I have no one to care about me for Valentine's Day (because when my parents asked what Garrick got me and I replied with nothing they simply laughed).
I've decided to be extremely independent, since trying to be close to someone isn't working.
So thanks for a miserable Valentine's Day. I honestly want to kill myself.
And I know most of you are thinking "Oh the bitchy sap with no valentine"...but it's not even that.
It's the fact that after so many years he could do this to me and not care, either.
I received a charm from my mother for Valentine's Day. I was happy when she gave it to me this morning because I *knew* that she really cared about me enough to buy me such a wonderful gift. I really thought the day was going to get better...
So I get to school and I'm happy in first block because it's V-day and everyone is handing out little valentines from Wal-mart that was left over from their little brother/sister. Katie even made me a sweet card out of construction paper.
Second block goes fine even though Kami never showed up and we were stuck watching THE YELLOW SUBMARINE.
Then the shit hits the fan.
Garrick walked in about 15 minutes until the bell rang for third block. He was smiling and just shining as I said "Happy Valentine's Day". I said "I made you something but my hands are dirty so I'll give it to you at lunch."
He says, "Well I didn't bring yours. You can't have it till later."
I WAS PISSED.
It's not the fact that it was a small gift or anything, because I don't know what it is (if, in fact, there IS something he bought me). It's the fact that it's Valentine's Day- the day of giving through love. I didn't give a fuck about material things, but he acted as if it was no big deal for him to walk in with NOTHING.
Note: NOTHING.
I was really mad the rest of the day but I tried to get over it. I don't know what was up with me, but I was very upset that I received NOTHING from my on-again/off-again boyfriend. Then he goes into this whole spell of how I shouldn't be mad at him.
Note to guys: Never go without getting your woman a Valentine's gift. It's a day that she looks forward to all year long (with the exception of her birthday and Christmas).
Valentine's Day was TODAY- not Saturday or Sunday.
So after school I head home to eat something quickly before I go to work. When I leave and am almost at work, Garrick calls my cell phone still complaining about how I was mad that I received no gift.
I eventually told him to fuck off and hung up the phone and walked into work, five minutes late.
I ended up begging Kevin to let me off work early, which he did. And I was in such a good mood that I called Garrick and was going to ask him if he was wanting to see me.
HE WASN'T HOME.
Jim told me he was "out with a friend" and "wouldn't be back until four o'clock".
Now I'm not even pissed. I'm beyond pissed- to HURT. I feel as if my heart isn't even there and I have no one to care about me for Valentine's Day (because when my parents asked what Garrick got me and I replied with nothing they simply laughed).
I've decided to be extremely independent, since trying to be close to someone isn't working.
So thanks for a miserable Valentine's Day. I honestly want to kill myself.