That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.
Oh life, is bigger.
People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around.
Life has been quite different since I got here. Florida State is definitely an interesting place: I'm not so sure if it is the kind of interesting that is worth giving up a ridiculous amount of money from FIU and the comfort of my home for the costs of dorms and the strangeness of a new town - there are times when it is clearly worth it, and other moments when I find myself thinking "Good one, idiot." During my first few weeks here, the former dominated; lately, the latter takes the cake.
I went back to Miami recently and it was crazy how alienated I felt myself from it even though I had only been gone for a few weeks. I realized there is not much there for me; the days that I miss are days that I cannot get back. I have always been a sucker for change, and I have recently had moments in which I find myself being a lot weaker than what I know I am.
What, then, is there to do? I want too much too soon; I expect to find what I left immediately, and I am not giving a chance to anyone around me to show me the way. It's almost as if I expect someone to knock on my door and say "Hey, you know, I'm going to be your wingman for next 4 years, so, uhm.. hi." I find something wrong with everyone, sometimes before saying a word to them. All negativity aside, though, the opportunities here are tremendous if you take advantage of them - something I have not done. I have always been a firm believer in the huge role that attitude has towards the way we behave and my attitude lately has been... apathetic at best. I am shunning myself from anything and everything that comes my way, quite willingly. Whenever I am somehow dragged by someone into a social situation, I may be there physically but mentally I am indifferent towards it. It is not that I am anti-social (100% at least :P) it is simply that I do not really see a depth to people that I can relate to.
It's all so bland; I put up with it in highschool, but I was hoping it'd be over by now.
Oh no, I've said too much. That was just a dream.
Aaah. It's late. It's late and I'm rambling, aren't I?
People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around.
Life has been quite different since I got here. Florida State is definitely an interesting place: I'm not so sure if it is the kind of interesting that is worth giving up a ridiculous amount of money from FIU and the comfort of my home for the costs of dorms and the strangeness of a new town - there are times when it is clearly worth it, and other moments when I find myself thinking "Good one, idiot." During my first few weeks here, the former dominated; lately, the latter takes the cake.
I went back to Miami recently and it was crazy how alienated I felt myself from it even though I had only been gone for a few weeks. I realized there is not much there for me; the days that I miss are days that I cannot get back. I have always been a sucker for change, and I have recently had moments in which I find myself being a lot weaker than what I know I am.
What, then, is there to do? I want too much too soon; I expect to find what I left immediately, and I am not giving a chance to anyone around me to show me the way. It's almost as if I expect someone to knock on my door and say "Hey, you know, I'm going to be your wingman for next 4 years, so, uhm.. hi." I find something wrong with everyone, sometimes before saying a word to them. All negativity aside, though, the opportunities here are tremendous if you take advantage of them - something I have not done. I have always been a firm believer in the huge role that attitude has towards the way we behave and my attitude lately has been... apathetic at best. I am shunning myself from anything and everything that comes my way, quite willingly. Whenever I am somehow dragged by someone into a social situation, I may be there physically but mentally I am indifferent towards it. It is not that I am anti-social (100% at least :P) it is simply that I do not really see a depth to people that I can relate to.
It's all so bland; I put up with it in highschool, but I was hoping it'd be over by now.
Oh no, I've said too much. That was just a dream.
Aaah. It's late. It's late and I'm rambling, aren't I?