(no subject)
I really haven't been liking myself lately
I try to act happy
I sometimes succeed
But if you really knew what I am going through right now I doubt any of you would be happy either.
I'm not suicidal or emo or anything
I just can't wait for this problem to pass
And I know it will
All things do
I will get better with time
No one can really help me
They've tried
The only one who can even ease the pain is Becky
cause she knows what I am going through
I don't even really feeling like living
I would never kill myself
But if god wanted to take me to heaven I wouldn't object
I hate it
One minute I am happy and hyper
the next
I don't even want to live or be around anyone.
I have never felt this kind of pain before.
I hope I never will have to again.
[if you are wondering if paul broke up with me No he is still with me and i am loving it he is trying to help..he really is]
it is also weird
I think my cat knows something is wrong with me
he'll just look at me and meow
usually when he meows its cause he has just woken up and is like "hello!"
but i've turned to look at him an he is just staring at me meowing then he will get up and come get in my lap or just sit next to me
last night he came in my room and sleep in my bed..he never sleeps with me he is actually in my lap now and was looking at the screen like he was reading what i wrote
maybe I am going crazy as well
I don't want pity
I don't want you to ask what is wrong
I don't want you to say you are sorry
all i want is for you to pray for me
even if you don't believe in god
just send a little grace and mercy my way
The only good thing i can say is i am going to the beach for a week
maybe i will get away from all of this.
I try to act happy
I sometimes succeed
But if you really knew what I am going through right now I doubt any of you would be happy either.
I'm not suicidal or emo or anything
I just can't wait for this problem to pass
And I know it will
All things do
I will get better with time
No one can really help me
They've tried
The only one who can even ease the pain is Becky
cause she knows what I am going through
I don't even really feeling like living
I would never kill myself
But if god wanted to take me to heaven I wouldn't object
I hate it
One minute I am happy and hyper
the next
I don't even want to live or be around anyone.
I have never felt this kind of pain before.
I hope I never will have to again.
[if you are wondering if paul broke up with me No he is still with me and i am loving it he is trying to help..he really is]
it is also weird
I think my cat knows something is wrong with me
he'll just look at me and meow
usually when he meows its cause he has just woken up and is like "hello!"
but i've turned to look at him an he is just staring at me meowing then he will get up and come get in my lap or just sit next to me
last night he came in my room and sleep in my bed..he never sleeps with me he is actually in my lap now and was looking at the screen like he was reading what i wrote
maybe I am going crazy as well
I don't want pity
I don't want you to ask what is wrong
I don't want you to say you are sorry
all i want is for you to pray for me
even if you don't believe in god
just send a little grace and mercy my way
The only good thing i can say is i am going to the beach for a week
maybe i will get away from all of this.