Burying the Dead
Their voices were silenced with the weight of it. The fear of saying something, anything to pierce the sacred stillness kept their speech at bay. But her mind continued to venture out, dreading capture by this place.
The sweat dripped down her face as she dug. The crunching of the metal shovel against the hard earth was the only sound. It was searing in its monotony. The warm wind blew from the west, hardly cooling them from the sun’s scorching heat. Her muscles ached, screaming for rest, but with each shovel-full of dirt she savored the pain even more. If she felt real pain, then she wasn’t succumbing to the numbness of the life surrounding her.
Today they would bury another one of their own. One who was too young, too brave to die.
She thought of another day-it seemed so long ago now-when she buried another too young to face the lonely trip to death alone. With each passing crash of the shovel against the hard earth she felt closer to him; to that day. The day she put her brother in the ground. The day when she lost every man she ever loved in one single life changing moment. Her brother. Her father. Her lover. All had died to her that day. That day her heart had hardened, seemingly never to feel again.
At first, with each passing day the agony seemed to intensify, never loosing its grip on her heart. The anger raging in her veins did not abate; it festered and grew. She could never forgive them for his death. But, slowly the pain had lessened, and she began to feel again. Soon she felt happiness, pleasure, joy. She met Roger and pledged to start her life over again; to release herself from the torture of her memories. She had convinced herself of her own strength to forget.
But when Jake came back the day of the bombs, it was like the rug had been swept out from underneath her feet. Suddenly it all came rushing back in a painful haze of memories. The day she longed to forget, to put past her was suddenly upon her again assaulting all her senses.
Then he left, almost as soon as he had come and she thought that would be the end of it, that she might forget he had ever returned.
But that day, the world had ended. Everything changed.
They had all lost so much since that day.
She thought of Roger, Jonah, Johnston, April, Bonnie and all the other lives that had been swallowed whole by this unforgiving existence.
She paused, ramming her shovel hard into the ground, savoring the solid feeling of the earth beneath her. Leaning one arm on its handle, using the other to wipe her face, she glanced over at Stanley as he dug with the ferocity of the depth of pain she knew too well. His jaw was set, determined to finish the task at hand, determined to give his sister everything he could, as he always had.
She felt the tears spring to her eyes. She knew what it was like to put family who were stolen unjustly to rest in their final bed of earth. The overwhelming feeling that more could have been done, that she could have done better revisited her as she gazed on his labor. She knew he felt it too.
She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and turned back to the mound of dirt. They were making good progress now. It would be over soon.
END
The sweat dripped down her face as she dug. The crunching of the metal shovel against the hard earth was the only sound. It was searing in its monotony. The warm wind blew from the west, hardly cooling them from the sun’s scorching heat. Her muscles ached, screaming for rest, but with each shovel-full of dirt she savored the pain even more. If she felt real pain, then she wasn’t succumbing to the numbness of the life surrounding her.
Today they would bury another one of their own. One who was too young, too brave to die.
She thought of another day-it seemed so long ago now-when she buried another too young to face the lonely trip to death alone. With each passing crash of the shovel against the hard earth she felt closer to him; to that day. The day she put her brother in the ground. The day when she lost every man she ever loved in one single life changing moment. Her brother. Her father. Her lover. All had died to her that day. That day her heart had hardened, seemingly never to feel again.
At first, with each passing day the agony seemed to intensify, never loosing its grip on her heart. The anger raging in her veins did not abate; it festered and grew. She could never forgive them for his death. But, slowly the pain had lessened, and she began to feel again. Soon she felt happiness, pleasure, joy. She met Roger and pledged to start her life over again; to release herself from the torture of her memories. She had convinced herself of her own strength to forget.
But when Jake came back the day of the bombs, it was like the rug had been swept out from underneath her feet. Suddenly it all came rushing back in a painful haze of memories. The day she longed to forget, to put past her was suddenly upon her again assaulting all her senses.
Then he left, almost as soon as he had come and she thought that would be the end of it, that she might forget he had ever returned.
But that day, the world had ended. Everything changed.
They had all lost so much since that day.
She thought of Roger, Jonah, Johnston, April, Bonnie and all the other lives that had been swallowed whole by this unforgiving existence.
She paused, ramming her shovel hard into the ground, savoring the solid feeling of the earth beneath her. Leaning one arm on its handle, using the other to wipe her face, she glanced over at Stanley as he dug with the ferocity of the depth of pain she knew too well. His jaw was set, determined to finish the task at hand, determined to give his sister everything he could, as he always had.
She felt the tears spring to her eyes. She knew what it was like to put family who were stolen unjustly to rest in their final bed of earth. The overwhelming feeling that more could have been done, that she could have done better revisited her as she gazed on his labor. She knew he felt it too.
She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and turned back to the mound of dirt. They were making good progress now. It would be over soon.
END