(no subject)
In the lobby of my apartment, there is a fat gentleman who speaks. He says hi in a suggestive manner. I respond with the following:
I see you like my earrings. Let’s go back to my apartment so that I can show you my collection. Do you have a wife?
Usually, men look defeated and walk away.
Yes.
Okay. I’d still like to show you my earrings, but I’m afraid you might steal them and give them away.
I won’t.
Sure?
Yes
Likewise.
Entering a bare apartment with a total stranger feels like winning the lottery in cold weather.
Here are my earrings. I can tell by the way you are looking at them that you are somewhat disappointed.
No. I can appreciate danglers.
Well, what is that expression for then?
I thought we were gonna fuck.
Oh.
Yea.
Why would you think that?
You said you were going to show me your earrings. I don’t know. I guess I thought it was code or something.
Code?
Yes. Like SOS.
SOS for sex?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay what?
Okay. Let’s do it then.
Wait.
Wait?
Wait.
Why wait?
You haven’t shown me all of your earrings.
I did.
That’s all you have?
Are you disappointed?
A little.
I can buy more earrings later.
Well, if we’re gona fuck, I’ll buy earrings for you.
Are you suggesting I’m a hooker.
Oh. You’re not?
What?
I thought you were.
What gave you that impression?
Your earrings are
Hooker-like?
Yes and
You thought we were gona fuck because-
Yes.
I’m not a hooker.
Oh.
Okay then.
Are we gona fuck or what?
I’m not a hooker.
Right. You said that.
So, I don’t think we’re gona fuck.
But before-
It’s different now that you think I’m a hooker.
I don’t think that anymore.
Are you pressuring me into having sex with you?
No.
I think you are.
I think you are.
Are what?
Are pressuring me into having sex with you.
How?
A look.
You thought I was a hooker.
Well.
Hm.
Uh.
Right.
Uh.
Hm.
Right.
Okay.
Fuck.
I don’t really like you.
Oh.
I think you should leave.
Why?
I’m not sure I want to tell you.
Tell me.
Silence.
More silence.
Tell me.
You make me sick a little…
How so?
You are kinda fat.
I’m trying not to be fat.
Right. But it still makes me sick.
Okay.
Silence.
More silence.
More silence.
He looks into my eyes.
I look into his eyes.
He reaches for a pair of earrings.
I put them on.
This is stupid.
Nice earrings.
Right. Get the hell out of my apartment.
Wana grab a bite to eat?
You’re married.
I know that.
Right. So, no.
Um.
Get out please.
Okay.
I see you like my earrings. Let’s go back to my apartment so that I can show you my collection. Do you have a wife?
Usually, men look defeated and walk away.
Yes.
Okay. I’d still like to show you my earrings, but I’m afraid you might steal them and give them away.
I won’t.
Sure?
Yes
Likewise.
Entering a bare apartment with a total stranger feels like winning the lottery in cold weather.
Here are my earrings. I can tell by the way you are looking at them that you are somewhat disappointed.
No. I can appreciate danglers.
Well, what is that expression for then?
I thought we were gonna fuck.
Oh.
Yea.
Why would you think that?
You said you were going to show me your earrings. I don’t know. I guess I thought it was code or something.
Code?
Yes. Like SOS.
SOS for sex?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay what?
Okay. Let’s do it then.
Wait.
Wait?
Wait.
Why wait?
You haven’t shown me all of your earrings.
I did.
That’s all you have?
Are you disappointed?
A little.
I can buy more earrings later.
Well, if we’re gona fuck, I’ll buy earrings for you.
Are you suggesting I’m a hooker.
Oh. You’re not?
What?
I thought you were.
What gave you that impression?
Your earrings are
Hooker-like?
Yes and
You thought we were gona fuck because-
Yes.
I’m not a hooker.
Oh.
Okay then.
Are we gona fuck or what?
I’m not a hooker.
Right. You said that.
So, I don’t think we’re gona fuck.
But before-
It’s different now that you think I’m a hooker.
I don’t think that anymore.
Are you pressuring me into having sex with you?
No.
I think you are.
I think you are.
Are what?
Are pressuring me into having sex with you.
How?
A look.
You thought I was a hooker.
Well.
Hm.
Uh.
Right.
Uh.
Hm.
Right.
Okay.
Fuck.
I don’t really like you.
Oh.
I think you should leave.
Why?
I’m not sure I want to tell you.
Tell me.
Silence.
More silence.
Tell me.
You make me sick a little…
How so?
You are kinda fat.
I’m trying not to be fat.
Right. But it still makes me sick.
Okay.
Silence.
More silence.
More silence.
He looks into my eyes.
I look into his eyes.
He reaches for a pair of earrings.
I put them on.
This is stupid.
Nice earrings.
Right. Get the hell out of my apartment.
Wana grab a bite to eat?
You’re married.
I know that.
Right. So, no.
Um.
Get out please.
Okay.