Still Alive
Hey hey hey, what does everyone who ventures into the mind of Potter have to say? Not much here just do some updating before I get some sleep for tomorrow. Well latly things have been the same old same old. Things have once again gotten started with the whole Jami thing cause she has wrote me and the fact that I tried to commit suicide doesnt help anything! Besides the newly acquired note from Jami and all that things have been alright. I have been working the same amount I have just added a couple days that usually EVERYONE has off. What I mean by that is that this Monday is Fourth of July (hopefully everyone will have fun and be safe) and good ole Potter will be working for the first time on this day. I dont know what yall would think about this but to me this is a good deal. At Berry (my place of employment, one of them) if you work any holidays your pays gets doubled and half! If I have lost you with that here I go to explain it the best I can, working at Berry on the fourth means I get the paid day off, regular days pay, and time and a half so in the end that means its is double time and a half! Now I make 9.67 to 13.98 depending on who does the checks so the way im looking at it is I should atleast be making 30 dollars an hour on Monday. If I add up right that would be 240.00 for 8 hours and then you subtract taxes and I should make atleast 210-215! Not bad for one day if I say so myself! Besides work I cant say much more. I do have to say woohoo for my princess cause she was accepted at Vincennes University and she will be attending their with me next year and hopefully living with me and a couple of my friends in our house. The way we have figured it is that she can pay half the rent and I can pay half and everything else we will just see how that works out. My princess has also gotten some stuff in the mail that might get her 30,000 dollars for school but knowing my luck it wont help. She said that if she got that she could just put 1000 back for rent and that would cover her half for the whole year. I figured she can just go ahead and put up 2000 and cover both of our rent and we dont have to worry bout me being able to come up with the money just in case. My only problem with Kendra attending Vincennes is how is she and all the girls I hang out with going to get along. Now im not saying I have things going on with this girls but I only hang out with one guy up at Vinny and his name is Zach. If im not with him doing something I am with Momma, C-na, Tree, Sam, or in my room! Another things that has been bothering my latly is the fact that I dont think Kendra believes me anymore with the whole Jami thing. I know how it seems with the fact that I did go out with her and she has wrote me that im still hooked up or seeing her or what not but im not. I did break it off with her and Kendra doesnt understand what she means to me. The whole things with Jami was that she was the ONLY person that has and ever will understand me for me. She understood the way I saw things, the reasons behind what I do to myself, and she talked to me and helped me solve most of my problems with Kendra, family, and my friends! I know that is no reason for me going out with her while I was with Kendra but it gelt so good to finally have someone who understood me and that could help me. I thought that I could have the best of both worlds, someone who loved me for being myself and someone who could help me with my personal problems. I dont think Kendra will ever get over the fact that I love this girl for helping me get through my cutting (still cut every now and then), helping me get through my personal doubts, and helping me get through my first year of college! I am not going to make any promises cause I probably will talk to Jami some more while up at Vinny if she stills wants to or if she doesnt get my killed or beat up by some guys up at Vinny for being a dumbass and fucking up her life also but she is that someone who I could talk to and let all my problems out! But another thing is this whole note thing, I havent read it yet besides bits and pieces of it while Kendra was checking it but Kendra says they want me to call them (momma and jami) and to write them back! Well with work and all the other things I do I really dont have time to write them back and I think Kendra thinks it cause I still have feelings. Well baby I want you to understand that I dont have the most fucking time and just cause I havent wrote her back doesnt mean I still want her or anything else that is on your mind. I LOVE YOU the most and want only you. I might say I love you to other girls but the love I have for them is nothing and and never will be like the love I have for you. Baby the love I have for you is the truest and the best love I can personally give. The love I have for you is the love of a man going crazy. My love is the love of someone who is lost without you beside them, without your voice, you face, without you as yourself! The love I have for you baby is the love I would only give to the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with and that love goes all to you! The I love you's that I tell everyone else is the love of a friend. I want them to know that I will be here for them if they need me and am willing to help any way I possible can. I dont think you will ever understand this but if anyone does can they please help her or does anyone else have these forms of love? Well I must go and get some sleep for work tomorrow so till next time everyone have fun and be safe, thank you for reading and please have a safe and good fourth of july! Buhbye