My Boat's Too Slow
3/28/04 10:23 AM
Simone De Reveney is my favorite person.
Because he makes his own rules. And lives by them.
In the early 1950's growing up as a teenager in the shadow of Coney Island, Brooklyn, he determined it was his destiny to be neither poor nor heterosexual. He has succeeded brilliantly at both.
Though he claims not to remember the exact spelling of his original family name, nor his exact date of birth, he has memorized the various home phone numbers of the Finance Ministers of the eleven countries that claim him as their richest citizen.
At the Grimaldi's, prior to the start of last years Grand Prix, when jokingly asked if he had Ten Billion Dollars on him to lend to the ruler of a Third World Country, he replied "No, but would you take a check?"
It is rumored that he paid Twenty Five Million Dollars to one of the World's Biggest Movie Stars to engage in an orgy with himself and the Russian in charge of disposing of the Gold Reserves from the former Soviet Republic, on board his Three Hundred and Sixteen Foot Yacht, "Le Beaux Simone" during last year's Cannes Film Festival. The only part of the story that CAN be confirmed is that De Reveney et Cie has become the largest refiner of Russian Gold in the World, netting Simone nearly Two Billion Dollars so far, and that a Certain Star is now the owner of a slightly used Gulfstream 4.
"You know," he said to me last month on board "The Gillian V" as we cruised from Palm Beach to Lyford Cay, "If you're going to have a boat that's under Two Hundred Feet, the least you can do is have one that's fast." He continued, "The Aga Khan's "Shergar" is about this size but it can cruise effortlessly at over Sixty Knots. I DO hope you plan to upgrade when we have finished this situation with that horrendous Davis person. And pardon my staring, but I could swear that Steward you have assigned to my Stateroom is the twin brother of that underwear model."
"It is him," I reply
"You always were a Fabulous host."
Virtually yours,
Patrick Bateman
Simone De Reveney is my favorite person.
Because he makes his own rules. And lives by them.
In the early 1950's growing up as a teenager in the shadow of Coney Island, Brooklyn, he determined it was his destiny to be neither poor nor heterosexual. He has succeeded brilliantly at both.
Though he claims not to remember the exact spelling of his original family name, nor his exact date of birth, he has memorized the various home phone numbers of the Finance Ministers of the eleven countries that claim him as their richest citizen.
At the Grimaldi's, prior to the start of last years Grand Prix, when jokingly asked if he had Ten Billion Dollars on him to lend to the ruler of a Third World Country, he replied "No, but would you take a check?"
It is rumored that he paid Twenty Five Million Dollars to one of the World's Biggest Movie Stars to engage in an orgy with himself and the Russian in charge of disposing of the Gold Reserves from the former Soviet Republic, on board his Three Hundred and Sixteen Foot Yacht, "Le Beaux Simone" during last year's Cannes Film Festival. The only part of the story that CAN be confirmed is that De Reveney et Cie has become the largest refiner of Russian Gold in the World, netting Simone nearly Two Billion Dollars so far, and that a Certain Star is now the owner of a slightly used Gulfstream 4.
"You know," he said to me last month on board "The Gillian V" as we cruised from Palm Beach to Lyford Cay, "If you're going to have a boat that's under Two Hundred Feet, the least you can do is have one that's fast." He continued, "The Aga Khan's "Shergar" is about this size but it can cruise effortlessly at over Sixty Knots. I DO hope you plan to upgrade when we have finished this situation with that horrendous Davis person. And pardon my staring, but I could swear that Steward you have assigned to my Stateroom is the twin brother of that underwear model."
"It is him," I reply
"You always were a Fabulous host."
Virtually yours,
Patrick Bateman